crashbutnotburn
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2007
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 3
Last weekend I was at a club, and a knot of four girls pushed up next to me. Laughing, talking, whatever. One of them, I don't want to call her overweight but she was definitely overweight for my taste (I like the waifs, and she was corn-fed with child-rearing hips, not my thing) was asked by an HB8.5, who was exactly my type: "So, no more Peyton, huh?"
"No," says Corn-Fed. "Looks like he found some b--ch who'll suck his d!ck. Better her than me."
"Ahem," I said, addressing Corn-Fed. "You don't suck d!ck?"
"Excuse me?" Corn-Fed turns on me. "What did you say?"
"I couldn't help but overhear. You said you don't suck d!ck?"
"No," she shook her head. "I don't. Gross."
"Hmm." I picked up my drink, said, "Excuse me," and then slid around her and stuck my hand out to HB 8.5. "So what's your name?"
HB 8.5 just stood there, her eyes and mouth wide open, trying to speak, and her friends nearly died laughing. Except Corn-Fed. "F---in' men," she said.
I turned to her. "That's what it's about, sweetheart," I told her, and articulated very cleanly, "F---ing men."
When the smoke cleared, I got HB 8.5's number and email. We're going out tomorrow night. Without Corn-Fed.
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Yeah, funny story. Thing is, I made a whole lot of right decisions in those few minutes. Here are some of them:
1.) I didn't use any profanity that Corn-Fed didn't already use.
1a.) I called B.S. on the offense she indicated in her opening engagement with me, and I did so by repeating exactly what she said.
2.) I opened the conversation with a relevant statement.
3.) I hadn't heard HB 8.5 use profanity, so I didn't use profanity with her. I implied, through my introduction, that I was curious whether or not she, in fact, sucked d!ck. And also I implied that she may not be good enough for me.
4.) C&F for the mf'n WIN. HB 8.5 told me in an email that her friends were riding her all night; that was the first time since they'd known her that she'd had nothing to say.
5.) Confident as all hell.
6.) Verbal judo. Turning a derogatory "F----n' men," into an imperative statement. This is about you, f----ng men. And adding the "g" to the end just to pound it home a little more.
6a.) Taking the aggressive, c-ckblocking b-tch of the group down a peg, and then sticking around to do it again if she came back with something.
6b.) No fear.
7.) I can use a common reference to fellatio in conversation Friday night.
"No," says Corn-Fed. "Looks like he found some b--ch who'll suck his d!ck. Better her than me."
"Ahem," I said, addressing Corn-Fed. "You don't suck d!ck?"
"Excuse me?" Corn-Fed turns on me. "What did you say?"
"I couldn't help but overhear. You said you don't suck d!ck?"
"No," she shook her head. "I don't. Gross."
"Hmm." I picked up my drink, said, "Excuse me," and then slid around her and stuck my hand out to HB 8.5. "So what's your name?"
HB 8.5 just stood there, her eyes and mouth wide open, trying to speak, and her friends nearly died laughing. Except Corn-Fed. "F---in' men," she said.
I turned to her. "That's what it's about, sweetheart," I told her, and articulated very cleanly, "F---ing men."
When the smoke cleared, I got HB 8.5's number and email. We're going out tomorrow night. Without Corn-Fed.
--------
Yeah, funny story. Thing is, I made a whole lot of right decisions in those few minutes. Here are some of them:
1.) I didn't use any profanity that Corn-Fed didn't already use.
1a.) I called B.S. on the offense she indicated in her opening engagement with me, and I did so by repeating exactly what she said.
2.) I opened the conversation with a relevant statement.
3.) I hadn't heard HB 8.5 use profanity, so I didn't use profanity with her. I implied, through my introduction, that I was curious whether or not she, in fact, sucked d!ck. And also I implied that she may not be good enough for me.
4.) C&F for the mf'n WIN. HB 8.5 told me in an email that her friends were riding her all night; that was the first time since they'd known her that she'd had nothing to say.
5.) Confident as all hell.
6.) Verbal judo. Turning a derogatory "F----n' men," into an imperative statement. This is about you, f----ng men. And adding the "g" to the end just to pound it home a little more.
6a.) Taking the aggressive, c-ckblocking b-tch of the group down a peg, and then sticking around to do it again if she came back with something.
6b.) No fear.
7.) I can use a common reference to fellatio in conversation Friday night.
