How should i respond to this date cancellation?

[Ease]

A girl iv been seeing 1-2 months, suggested we go out this friday in 2 days, so i made plans and we agreed to go out for dinner etc.

That was on monday, today i get a text saying 'Ease.. I cant make it on friday its my friends birthday, can we make it saturday? xo'

She's counteroffering for saturday and was the one who wanted to go out initially, so im not treating this as a flake or lack of interest.

Its a genuine case excuse and she wants to rescheduel but she's reschedueled dates for later in the day or has been 'running late' before, basically messing a bit but iv let it slide without saying too much. Basically this time something important came up and she wants to move it to another day but i think she might be seeing how far she can push it, in a way. The text wasnt overly apologetic (i dont even see a sorry anywhere), and shes seeing if ill jump at the oppurtunity to see her on saturday.

Now i wouldnt say this is a '**** test' but i have a feeling she's definitly going to be gauging my response and how i react to this ie. im cautious not to let it slide and allow her to walk over me like a chump. Its not huge, but iv let some more minor stuff slide and shes pushing it. I need to punish her lightly and lay down the law, i feel that this is one of those things that determines boundaries and dynamics in a relationship in the future. Correct?

I was thinking of either responding 'You could have told me before' or somethiong along those lines, thats strong and to the point without sounding needy and angry over something stupid.

Or not replying today, silent treatment for a bit cos honestly i cba talking to her as i am a little annoyed that i spent time planning a date to get canceled 2 days before

Saturday tempts me but real men would be too busy climbing mountains and crossing rivers to make a date with a girl on both weekend nights so i dont think she deserves it, might delay till monday night.

So any comments? i wrote this as an article of interest or 'relationship report' to anyone who might have had this situation before, aswell as to ask for advice.

 

[Sofomore]

Personally I would just say that you have things to do on saturday.
"You could have told me before" is definitely an angry tone of voice. I wouldnt say that but I'm curious as to what other people think of this.

Don't set up another date yet, just call her up sunday night or something. Make sure that you are the one setting the time/date.

 

[GrimPhallic]

Hmm Ive dated a few chicks like this recently. I feel the same way you do about it as well... it is annoying. I agree 100% with Sofomore, you tell her you are busy Saturday and dont tell her why or how unless she asks directly. Remember always be mysterious bro. It will leave her wondering wtf you are up to. Oh and if she asks just say you are hangin with a friend or some friends or whatever. Remember she has to EARN that top spot of importance on your list of people, you dont just give it to her. Dont be a dck but dont be too nice as well, leave her feeling like SHE is missing out on hanging with someone as rad as YOU. She will contact you again no worries.

Austin

 

[COD]

Stop Going On Dates

stop planning dates..........and if U just gotta have it your way......(from an article I wrote---ART OF NEGOCIATION).........agree happily to the reschedule but REMIND HER.......this is the 3rd time she has rescheduled........then text something along the lines of........U WILL HAVE TO MAKE THIS UP TO ME.........bigtime.

sort of like compensation for your inconvience.

You want to strive for "who cares, nothing bothers me, its ok" attitude.
It's not a pushover, its I am a great guy, she adores me, time is on our side, etc.

Verbal akido my friend............now down the road, when U two are inseperable..........MAKE SOLID PLANS and inform her UPFRONT..........NO refunds, no excuses, NO FRICKEN RESCHEDULES.

 

[countermart]

Reschedule but not on her day....”I can’t make Saturday, Thursday looks clear how about we.....what ever you (not her) want to do”.

You need to make your way up the priority list so she stops seeing you as fall back joe.

Countermart

 

[Desdinova]

Here's an original idea... What does Saturday really look like for you? Are you actually doing something, or are you just going to be sitting at home with your thumb up your ass?

If your answer is the latter, then take her up on her counter-offer.

It's not rocket science.

 

[DJDamage]

I may be nitpicking over here, but a cancelation of a date shouldn't be done in text. She could have at least called you but instead she is taking the "easy way out" to avoid explaining herself.

Also the text itself is already showing that she isn't placing you very high on her priority list:

"'Ease.. I cant make it on friday its my friends birthday, can we make it saturday?"

1) You made the date on friday, and she was the one to change plans, however she already decided to "tell you" about her decision and not negotiate or plea for your agreement.

2) You'v been bumped. Who knows if this was an excuse or not but if she was really high on you she would have at least asked you to join her so you would have met her girlfriends. When a girl wants you to meet her girlfriends its because she wants to show you off, if she doesn't then its not a good sign (unless you are some hot sh1t and she knows her girlfriends are backstabers but that is the exception rather then the rule).

3) If you agree to this (saturday date) after you'v been bumped, you are playing by her own rules. There is a reason why the DJ's Bible advice for newbies advocate's not to make a date on a friday night and the weekends early on, because girls always have something else going on and so should you.

I wouldn't bother to text her back and agree to this b.s. If she wants to call and explain herself then she is welcomed but even so don't agree on seeing her on saturday because you should tell her that you have already made plans for that day and that you will call her again when your schedule clears up. Making yourself too available after you been bumped, in my experience doesn't raise her interest in you.

In the meantime you need to learn how to spin plates and not hang your hopes on one girl.

 

[seagull]

Here's an original idea... What does Saturday really look like for you? Are you actually doing something, or are you just going to be sitting at home with your thumb up your ass?

If your answer is the latter, then take her up on her counter-offer.

It's not rocket science.

Agreed. You are making too much of a big deal about nothing.

 

[Joe Stud]

"kind of tied up saturday night, monday's better for me... same dinner same place?" Like the guys above said, be a bit mysterious & indifferent, but never bitter. if she asks why not saturday, just say you have plans with friends. If she asks who, allude to male and female friends. make her wonder. shes a bit too comfortable with you. Then on mondays date, be upbeat and fun to be with so she: a) realizes YOU are where it's at. and b) wonders if you got laid sat nite!