How should I play it from here?

[Lexington]

So here's the deal. I recently kiss closed on a girl. At first she seemed receptive. But just a while ago, she e-mailed me to say that she is uncomfortable with the relationship and that she only wants to be friends now. She says she really values my friendship and considers me a close friend. She says she hopes I'm willing to be friends.

Sounds like a strong LJBF. I should point out that she ended a long relationship several months ago and it did mess her up for a while. There was some strong interest before and she didn't resist my kiss. We connect very strongly on an intellectual level, so I do like this girl. She has confided in me with some very personal secrets etc.

I understand that when a chick says LJBF, it's tough to get back into the romantic zone. However, I would prefer to have something more than friendship. What's a good way to proceed from here?

Is this a good plan? Right now, my plan is to tell her I'm attracted to her, but if friendship is all she wants, then there's nothing I can do to change that (should I tell her in person or via e-mail?). Then I plan on blowing her off for a while so that my time/attention is more dear to her.

I'll be friendly, but I'll treat her different than I have been. I'll make myself scarce and withdraw the interest and attention she has been accustomed to receiving. Then, later on, I'll feed some of it back to her and tease her with it.

Any other ideas on what I should do? As it stands right now, we're on the verge of the friend zone, so I don't want to step into it.

 

[mastersF]

If you don't want to step into it, say no.
Don't let her frame dominate yours. You don't want a friendship with her, so you lose nothing if you don't agree with her demands of becoming just friends.

 

[Jaggs]

I understand that when a chick says LJBF, it's tough to get back into the romantic zone

Don't be so sure. It's not impossible. I've had girls who try to say they just want to be friends but if you just shrug it off (smile and say whatever) and don't change your attitude to her one bit, its easy to re-gain attraction. I find that a select few girls don't actually like me but are still attracted to me for some reason. They say whack **** like "it wouldn't work between us, we're so differen't etc etc" but they just give in as soon as you escalate. (Tip: this doesnt mean rape girls, but this 'vibe' is easy to sense).

This whole 'plan' of yours to withdraw attention etc doesn't really sound like the best way to go. It might help a bit, but its not the main point of what you should be doing.

Don't explain to her that you are interested in her but its her choice. That will sound very lame.

just go with it. after all it doesn't matter what happens in the end; but she probably still wants to fvck you deep down.

Hope this makes sense.

ps dont think you are bound to these 'rules' of 'friendzone' etc, because as soon as you surrender yourself to that you surrender to her (or anyone in a different scenario).

its an art !

 

[horaholic]

Tell her if she wants to be your friend, she has to introduce you to, and try to hook you up with all her hot single friends. A REAL chick friend would help you out. This will also establish a jealousy plotline.

 

[window]

numero uno...never listen to what a girl sais, they are magicians with the word

 

[russell]

ha if you don't want to be just friends then be nothing. you run that ****, son.

 

[russell]

Tell her if she wants to be your friend, she has to introduce you to, and try to hook you up with all her hot single friends. A REAL chick friend would help you out. This will also establish a jealousy plotline.

wise words, a real confident female friend will always hook you up.

 

[Wynston]

Tell her if she wants to be your friend, she has to introduce you to, and try to hook you up with all her hot single friends. A REAL chick friend would help you out. This will also establish a jealousy plotline.

Thats a good one!! But also that may seem like you are desparate for a girl!! Maybe just step back for a while and see if she comes to you.. Why is she uncomfortable with it?? What happened?? Maybe you should have imposed ur sexuality onto her more than became intellectually compatible, deep down she wants someone who can make her pass out, more than pass philosophy... ooo good one eh?? :yes: