How should i have reacted , what should i do now

[tikiboomboom]

I have been hanging out with a girl for the past 4 months. Been pretty intimate, but no sex yet Anyway. On monday we came close , but didn't do it . Then i went to the club on Thursday, and had planned on meeting her there. She showed up pretty close to closing time, and i didn't know she was at the club

When i did see her , she was giving her phone # to a friend of mine, neither of them knew about me. Well, i saw this and decided to approach them. To see how she would react....

Well long story short, my friend gave me a better greeting than her. He at least shook my hand, and said "whats up", she waved at me from 2 feet away like i was nobody. I got angry , turned around thinking to myself , i deserve better than that, and felt disrespected. She could see i was pissed and didn't come up to me that night. she usually calls me everyday, and still hasn't and it has been almost 2 weeks. and last week i saw them 2 standing next to eachother at the club, but don't even seem happy or that they get along, i think just to make me jealous. but i 'm the catch here and she knows it, and have refused to call her first. What should i have done when it happened , and what should i do now? to get her back finish what i started..... sorry so long

 

[Wiesman44]

this is a clear-cut case that she has found someone else and she's hanging you out to dry. Thats typical behavior of a chick thats lost interest and wants someone else.

 

[MixMaxster]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm i'm surprised it's not that obvious... this girl acting all aloof, she's hanging with your friend and doesn't call you in two weeks when she used to call every day. Sounds to me like she lost interest and could be finding something in him that you don't have.

And you said that they don't even seem happy or get along? They could just be acting like that cuz you're there and they don't want you to find out about it.

One word: NEXT!

 

[tikiboomboom]

?

well, the thing is she is young and i know that. If the solution is Next, no problem. But i still want to hit it once, and i could've had it the last time, but it was my decision not too (she was on the rag). anyway, i have been to proud to call her or email her, or leave a message. I know once i do, she return my call and be happy to hear from me. I think its just a thing of who breaks down and calls first. If i do call or email first , how should i go about it. Should i act like nothing happened and bring it up later. Should i kinda play with her and call her a brat, and tell her she could've at least shook my hand, hug something. I wasn't mad she gave him her #, i was mad cuz of her greetings towards me.
how should i go about calling first without hurting my pride too much.?

 

[Desdinova]

I think its just a thing of who breaks down and calls first. If i do call or email first

You're not listening to everyone who has responded. SHE'S DONE WITH YOU. Move on to better things.

Ah fvck, go ahead and call her. Get yourself even more bent out of shape. You're gonna do it regardless of what anyone here says.

Next time you need to vent, don't do it here. Do it with your AFC buddies who will encourage you to do whatever you want.

 

[DJDamage]

I have been hanging out with a girl for the past 4 months.

Your problems begin with the first sentence. What does that mean "hanging out"? I suspect that it stands for " I met a girl who became friends with me and then we started to make out when she feels like it". As a result of this action I suspect that the chick used this as an excuse that since you werent officially dating and just "hanging out", she has the right to see other people. I believe you did not establish strong dating boundries and therefore you have gotten a mess on your hand. As well her IL in you wasn't that high but rather luke warm.

The difference between dating and hanging out is that in dating a guy should have most of the power. When its hanging out its friends with benefits who don't owe each other commitment and its often the person who cares the least is the one that control this relationship. The other person will tend to think that they are actually in normal dating relationship which is not. I know it doesn't make any sense but women often use that logic.

You tikiboom had the chance to fvck her but for some reason you choose to take it easy with this chick and let her run how and when she wants to mack. Your overeacting her giving a number to your friend and her flakiness behaviour, pretty much killed this "Arrangment'. Now that she sees that you care and want her, its not as fun as it used to be. You should have been postive and went with the flow because after all I do believe you didn't established that the two of you were actually in a relationship.

It is more likely a loss cause so you are better off trying to hook up with other chicks and don't be too laid back with the "hanging out" because they will walk all over you when they see you don't set boundries. But then again I am not sure in you case the meaning of Hanging out.

 

[tikiboomboom]

hanging out

i had been reading this forum. So I had been ****y funny, only see her once a week, and december was a short month since i went outta town. i was hangin out cuz, i wanted keep playing around, and she said she's not looking for a bea. But the only the thing left to do was sex. Your probably right, i shoulda just went with the flow, but it was the semi-wave greeting to me that pissed me off. i had gotten pissed off at her before, for not showing up to my promotion party, and did not talk to her for a couple a weeks before also. But she called me first, i dissed her. But then i called her back a week later, and started hangin out again.I'm sure to see her again at the club on thurs. cuz that is where i met her. we go there alot. so should i go w/ the flow then, dis her, ignore her or not even go?

 

[Donald Kaufman]

If there was a way to go to the club and behave like nothing bad had happened, as if you had gone with the flow, that would be the best move. It seems that you are too invested and too into the drama to do that no matter what your intentions.

If you're OK with pursuing drama go in there and try to aloof, she will see through it, and the stakes will be raised. You can alternate between being hurt and angry, she can alternate between being hurt and misunderstood. Somewhere in the middle of that you might get your revenge, er, i mean sex. Eventually, you will feel played and people will lose repect for you and you will get the short end of the stick.

If you want your whole life to go in a better direction stay away from her until you don't need or want anything from her. Avoid contact for a couple weeks. Limit contact until you don't need anything. When you don't want anything from her your life will be better. You will be wiser and stronger and less likely to run into the same situation.

Drama queens are fine when you don't get pulled into the script. AWs are fun if you don't give attention. If some aspect of your game is weak they have a nasty habit of exploiting it. They are born practicing this stuff.