"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How should I go about not being creepy?

DJDeMarco

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I've worked on being non-creepy since I made this post and I'm noticing the mistakes I was doing wrong. I'm still not sure what to do about the eye contact thing, but I'm outcome independent when talking to men and women now. Which means I'm having a fun time generally.
I think I'm better looking now than I've been in years. I'm 26, weigh 188 with about 19 % body fat and I've lost most of my double chin as my face has thinned along with my body. I'm also 5'8, bald(keep it shaved) and wear glasses(will get contacts ASAP). I lift weights 4-5 X a week, play tennis and run. I do have some charisma as I'm a part-time DJ who does sports analysis as well as doing a govt. job.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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salinechow

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DJDeMarco said:
I've worked on being non-creepy since I made this post and I'm noticing the mistakes I was doing wrong. I'm still not sure what to do about the eye contact thing, but I'm outcome independent when talking to men and women now. Which means I'm having a fun time generally.
I think I'm better looking now than I've been in years. I'm 26, weigh 188 with about 19 % body fat and I've lost most of my double chin as my face has thinned along with my body. I'm also 5'8, bald(keep it shaved) and wear glasses(will get contacts ASAP). I lift weights 4-5 X a week, play tennis and run. I do have some charisma as I'm a part-time DJ who does sports analysis as well as doing a govt. job.

Dude, sounds great! Keep it going. Glad you updated. Pay attention to some of the stuff I shared it will help in your professional life as well. We are rooting you on. Keep it up. Keep at the gym. Well done.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDeMarco said:
Sometimes I just go out in the day to meet women.
I feel fear and negativity when doing this while trying to feel positive and confident.
Not comfortable talking to strangers.
Can be intense, angry, and emotional at times.
If an attractive woman is in my view, I have a hard time not giving her multiple glances.
Indecisive, sometimes hesitant, and logical about what to do with women.
Lack of common sense...I think I can do anything when I can't.

Out of curiosity, to what degree do you have these challenges when interacting with other men?
 

DJDeMarco

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Out of curiosity, to what degree do you have these challenges when interacting with other men?
Not as much. I've become friends with men who are successful with women at the gym. It's a female thing.
salinechow: Thanks, I'll keep up the good work.
 

gravityeyelids

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Couple points here:

1) When you're improving your game, especially if it's not polished yet, you ARE going to come off as creepy to some people. I'm fairly aggressive in my approaches, and yes, some girls typically think i'm a bit creepy or too forward. But you have to risk creepy. It's a numbers game. Sure a couple girls may think you're creepy, but the ones you end up banging dont; they think you are a forward, confident man.

Now it's bad to come off as creepy within social circles. Being labeled as a creep can kill your reputation in close knit social circles.

2) This whole PUA movement has made popular the idea that cold approaches are the meat and bones of game. When in reality, you're much better off trying to meet girls through friends of friends, etc. I've probably had 10x the success with girls who i met through a friend. Random girls at the bar whom i have no connection to RARELY work out. And as far as day game....it IS quite weird to just go around "cold approaching" girls. I don't even like the term cold approaching, because it implies a canned line and an awkward, very forward approach where you are putting yourself out there. It's much better...let's say youre at the mall...rather than simply walking right up to a girl and trying to game her, just position yourself so that opening her seems like a natural thing. For example, you're shopping for clothes, right? You see a cute girl. Slowly work your way over, and check out the shirts by where she is standing. Then without even looking at her just say "hey can i get your opinion on something? what do you think of this shirt". 99.9999% of girls will be friendly and think this is a completely normal way to start a convo.

Contrast this with if you had walked right up to a girl and said "i saw you and thought you looked interesting, and had to talk to you." This is a fine line at a bar when she's given you the eyes. But during the daytime? In public? Kinda weird.

I'm not saying that you shouldnt work on daygame and approach girls in public you think are cute. However, there's typically a much higher payout running social circle game and gaming girls whom you have some type of thing in common with, whether it's a friend, or a yoga class, or going to the same school, or having the same class, etc. etc. Rather than just scattershooting at every cute girl you come across...focus on more reliable targets.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDeMarco said:
Not as much. I've become friends with men who are successful with women at the gym. It's a female thing.

There's a lot of good tactical advice given; consider figuring out why you see women differently and deal with those aspects to deal with the root of the problem.
 
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