how should i feel about this?

[T Money]

So this girl that i'm dating, we're actually really close, we lived together for about 6 months when she was going out with my roomate. They broke it off recently after 2 and a half years, because she cheated on him with me.

Well now we're together, and we really care about eachother a lot. I mean, everytime we hang out, it's just like all our problems and worries are left miles behind. It's almost too good to be true right now.

Well she said since she's been in a relationship for 2 and a half years, she wants to date around a little bit. When she asked if I cared I said with a nice firm smile "Of course not, because I know none of those guys will be as interesting as I am". She liked that a lot. Well, truth is, I DO care. I actually have feelings for this girl, the good news is I think she's beginning to get in the mindset that she can date if she wants to, but she doesn't really want to because she likes being with me so much.

I see us getting into an LTR here pretty quickly, should I put my foot down and say "I don't want you dating other guys"? It would make me feel better if she didn't...it's not a huge deal though, just as long as she's not fvking them and as long as they don't KEEP dating. What do you guys think?

 

[Dodgeball]

Let me tell you a little story..Once upon a time there was a happy beautiful couple, they did everything together, they thought the world of each other... or so the guy thought, because as soon someone else came along, she fell into his arms.. he was devastated.. 8 months passed he wised himself up learnt the game and little miss wh0re cheats on the person she cheated with... why? who knows? mystery? not really women go on how they feel, women who cheat go on how attractive the other guy makes them feel then sleeps with them... ask yourself would you trust someone who cheated on you and said "i want to date other people" because i wouldn't, you wont take this in advice so the only advice that i can give you thats useful to you is tread lightly, ive been in this situation it's a red flag situation

Good Luck Bro
-Dodgeball

 

[V-Don]

Man, I want to hear what the others have to say about this. I will say this: if you can get a girl to cheat. Someone else can.

I have never stuck with women that I know have cheated. Also, I would never date someone that just got out of a LTR without being cautious. The fact, that she cheated suggests something... you know what im saying, right?

A women thats worth it will be consistent. Know what I mean?

I have had some girls pull this. I really DONT care if they do. If they are stupid enough to give up some one as great as me, screw em. Get it?

Loose one, find 2 more. Something sounds funny about her. I say, don't get attached. There will be others. So many others...

I mean, everytime we hang out, it's just like all our problems and worries are left miles behind.

Nope, your problems are still there. Now, you just a have a girl on your jock.

It's almost too good to be true right now.

This should be a warning sign.. bro... open, breath, pay attention...

If she starts looking around, get rid of her. Don't tolerate stupidity.

 

[T Money]

Ok let me explain the situation a little more.

The guy she WAS dating (my roomate) is like...whatever is BEFORE AFC. he's like...almost gay he's so insecure with himself.

Every god damn time she would talk to me even to be like "Hey, can I use a tortilla?" He would get mad at her because he was too jealous and insecure of himself.

I don't know why, but this hot chick stuck with him. Well finally, after about 3 months of her going to bed every night and hearing him complain and whine about talking to me...or not letting her go to parties because of potential "other guys looking at her" BS, she got sick of it and hooked up with me in spite of him.

Now, i'm not that kinda guy. Her and I have talked about this...and we agree that relationships are a lot like a birdcage. You can leave the door open, and the bird will fly back home. You lock the door, and the bird just wants to get out.

Well this is the only time she has cheated on anyone...and it was on some chump after 2 and a half years, and believe me, she's a good person, i've known her for a while. This isn't just some chick I picked up at the bar.

I'm not worried about her cheating on me in the future, because if it does happen, then she's gone. I'm wondering about right now. I understand that she JUST got out of a relationship and wants to date a little bit, and I want to let her, but I don't like it.

 

[blinkwatt]

Well this is the only time she has cheated on anyone...and it was on some chump after 2 and a half years, and believe me, she's a good person, i've known her for a while. This isn't just some chick I picked up at the bar.

I'm not worried about her cheating on me in the future, because if it does happen, then she's gone. I'm wondering about right now. I understand that she JUST got out of a relationship and wants to date a little bit, and I want to let her, but I don't like it.

T Money,remember she cheated once. Everything is easy after the first time,meaning she will be more willing to cheat after getting away with it the first time.
Remember to give her some freedom,which from talking to you sounds like you are a really relaxed worry free person and you would allow her some freedom. Just remember that there are others out there like us,not caring about the other guy she could possibly be seeing. It only fair if we do it to others then they have the chance to do it to us. Its up to us to put our faith in the lady to trust her.
"If you set a bird free,and it comes back then it is truely yours. If you set it free and it doesnt return then it was never yours to begin with."

 

[Dodgeball]

Ok let me explain the situation a little more.

The guy she WAS dating (my roomate) is like...whatever is BEFORE AFC. he's like...almost gay he's so insecure with himself.

Every god damn time she would talk to me even to be like "Hey, can I use a tortilla?" He would get mad at her because he was too jealous and insecure of himself.

I don't know why, but this hot chick stuck with him. Well finally, after about 3 months of her going to bed every night and hearing him complain and whine about talking to me...or not letting her go to parties because of potential "other guys looking at her" BS, she got sick of it and hooked up with me in spite of him.

Now, i'm not that kinda guy. Her and I have talked about this...and we agree that relationships are a lot like a birdcage. You can leave the door open, and the bird will fly back home. You lock the door, and the bird just wants to get out.

Well this is the only time she has cheated on anyone...and it was on some chump after 2 and a half years, and believe me, she's a good person, i've known her for a while. This isn't just some chick I picked up at the bar.

I'm not worried about her cheating on me in the future, because if it does happen, then she's gone. I'm wondering about right now. I understand that she JUST got out of a relationship and wants to date a little bit, and I want to let her, but I don't like it.

If you dont like it, why you with her? In the long run do you see her cheating on you, she's got away with it once, she'll do it again. My ex was the most trustworthy girl you could meet, she could go to partys drunk, while guys hitted on her and she'd back away from them and bam one day she cheated on me, it's not about survival of the fittest or who's better, its about attraction, remember women go on feelings.

Obviously she could of ended it with this guy, instead of cheating, but she didnt.. remember women are deceptive, trust is an amazing thing in a relationship but how can you trust someone 'who wants to date other people?' think about it she just want's to go out there and fvck, i mean she's already got you right, what else could she possibly want from another guy? A hug?

I know how you feel, you're falling for her, but were here to help you not make that mistake again.

Good Luck

-Dodgeball

 

[T Money]

Thanks fellas, i'll take all that into account. I guess all I can do is just wait and see how it works out.

 

[scribblec]

once a cheater always a cheater

 

[Desdinova]

When she asked if I cared I said with a nice firm smile "Of course not, because I know none of those guys will be as interesting as I am". She liked that a lot. Well, truth is, I DO care. I actually have feelings for this girl,

You were the rebound guy, and that's all she was looking for. She got with you to get some sort of revenge on her ex. Getting with a different guy gave her an emotional rush because it was "bad" or "naughty". Now that you let yourself get involved emotionally, you've become as dull as her ex. She's now continuing what she started which was to get with different guys because it gives her emotional excitement.

I see us getting into an LTR here pretty quickly, should I put my foot down and say "I don't want you dating other guys"?

I don't see that at all. Everytime the two of you get somewhat "comfortable" and she's not getting that emotionally exciting element of drama, she's going to go fvck another guy. This woman is a goddam drama queen, high maintenance, and is TERRIBLE LTR material.

 

[DJDamage]

I don't see that at all. Everytime the two of you get somewhat "comfortable" and she's not getting that emotionally exciting element of drama, she's going to go fvck another guy. This woman is a goddam drama queen, high maintenance, and is TERRIBLE LTR material.

I agree with that statment.

Well she said since she's been in a relationship for 2 and a half years, she wants to date around a little bit. When she asked if I cared I said with a nice firm smile "Of course not, because I know none of those guys will be as interesting as I am". She liked that a lot. Well, truth is, I DO care.

I just laughed reading that paragraph. You are trying to be C0cky and funny with a girl who already made up her mind what she wants to do and you just reaffirmed her conviction that she can do what ever she wants to do with your response.

You should have the same mindset as the girl. Don't get into a serious relationship, date around until you find someone worthy because to her you are not worthy and after her behaviour of cheating on your roommate she shouldn't be either (if they cheat once and easily get away with it then they will learn its not a problem to cheat again).

DJD

 

[T Money]

Ok, this topic can be closed now.

 

[MightyMate]

I think its lame to get back ot same girl that chaeten on You, same as its lame to have roomate who cheats on You and then cheat on him. Thats like tv series.

 

[coder]

Wake up

Man, you are delusional. It is impossible for her to cheat on you because she has made no commitment to you. She told you she wants to date other people. So if she sleeps with another guy, she hasn’t cheated on you. She TOLD you. In your mind you are already in an LTR with her, but in her mind you are FB’s. She has been up front about this, but you refuse to believe it. Your best play here is to remain FB’s with her and maybe she will want an LTR later. Since she is going to date other people, you should also. If she sees that other women are interested in you and you are open to other women, she may decide to become exclusive with you. If you push her for an LTR, she will just dump you.

 

[T Money]

thank you coder, that's the answer i was looking for.

Good news is, she's turned down all the dates she's been offered, so she's realizing how much she likes being with me.