Hey guys, I posted a week or so ago about whether my girlfriend's insistence on using condoms and birth control together was alittle over the top. Well, I decided that it wasn't worth fighting that battle and so have decided that at least I'm still getting some, so if I have to wear a condom even when she's on the pill, fine. At anyrate, this is an outgrowth of that issue that I need some input on.
Well last night we were about to do the deed when she asked if I had condoms. I didn't, and neither did she. Now, I was annoyed but figured I'd settle for some oral action. However, she cut me off from doing that as well, so the mood was dead. After finally coaxing out of her why she was upset, she said that she felt like I didn't want to have sex with her because I didn't bring any condoms, knowing that the absence thereof would keep us from having sex.
Now, this was silly and annoying, but I know how women can be sometimes. So I told her that was ridiculous, and that I geniunely forgot to get some (which I did) and I thought she might have some anyways (which I did). Well she still didn't seem to believe me, so I insisted on getting some right that minute, not have sex right then, but just so this problem wouldn't happen later.
Well here's the problem. Over the course of this conversation, when I told her I can't always remember to get condoms, she implied that it was my responsibility to get condoms. This really made me mad, and let me explain why.
Her words were, "Well I pay for Depo (birthcontrol shot)...". Now the implication here is that because she pays for that birthcontrol, I should always have to get the other birthcontrol, condoms. This is ridiculous. First of all, one form of birth control should be enough. So the fact that we are using two is her decision, not mine. I shouldn't be penalized for her desire to be extra extra safe. Secondly, she was on Depo before she ever met me, and stayed on it even when she wasn't having sex after she broke up with her last boyfriend. You see, Depo gets rid of periods for women, which she loves. So its not even like she gets on Depo "just for me". So why should I always be the one responsible for getting condoms?!? Thirdly and finally, that night I didn't even feel like I had to have sex. Oral would have been fine. But apparently oral makes her want sex, so if we go down on each other there has to be sex as well. While this doesn't sound bad, it basically means that it's either sex or no sexual contact at all. So if I forget to get condoms, than I can't even give/receive oral sex. What the hell???
This isn't a money issue. I bought the condoms 9 times out of 10 anyways. However, I did it thinking I was doing something nice and being generous (like how a guy pays for dinner most of the time). Yet suddenly I realize its my "responsibility" to always get the condoms. But I don't even think we need condoms since she's on Depo, and the fact that she's acts like paying for Depo is some huge favor to me, when she stayed on it inbetween boyfriends and even when we weren't having sex at first.
This is not fair. If she's really so anal about this then I'd help her pay for Depo, just so everything's fifty fifty. But this isn't how a relationship should work. bull**** like it being my job to always get the condoms is silly. Am I being overreactive? Should I just let this go or is time to take a stand, especially after concedeing to only having sex with condoms and birthcontrol? Please give me feedback!
Well last night we were about to do the deed when she asked if I had condoms. I didn't, and neither did she. Now, I was annoyed but figured I'd settle for some oral action. However, she cut me off from doing that as well, so the mood was dead. After finally coaxing out of her why she was upset, she said that she felt like I didn't want to have sex with her because I didn't bring any condoms, knowing that the absence thereof would keep us from having sex.
Now, this was silly and annoying, but I know how women can be sometimes. So I told her that was ridiculous, and that I geniunely forgot to get some (which I did) and I thought she might have some anyways (which I did). Well she still didn't seem to believe me, so I insisted on getting some right that minute, not have sex right then, but just so this problem wouldn't happen later.
Well here's the problem. Over the course of this conversation, when I told her I can't always remember to get condoms, she implied that it was my responsibility to get condoms. This really made me mad, and let me explain why.
Her words were, "Well I pay for Depo (birthcontrol shot)...". Now the implication here is that because she pays for that birthcontrol, I should always have to get the other birthcontrol, condoms. This is ridiculous. First of all, one form of birth control should be enough. So the fact that we are using two is her decision, not mine. I shouldn't be penalized for her desire to be extra extra safe. Secondly, she was on Depo before she ever met me, and stayed on it even when she wasn't having sex after she broke up with her last boyfriend. You see, Depo gets rid of periods for women, which she loves. So its not even like she gets on Depo "just for me". So why should I always be the one responsible for getting condoms?!? Thirdly and finally, that night I didn't even feel like I had to have sex. Oral would have been fine. But apparently oral makes her want sex, so if we go down on each other there has to be sex as well. While this doesn't sound bad, it basically means that it's either sex or no sexual contact at all. So if I forget to get condoms, than I can't even give/receive oral sex. What the hell???
This isn't a money issue. I bought the condoms 9 times out of 10 anyways. However, I did it thinking I was doing something nice and being generous (like how a guy pays for dinner most of the time). Yet suddenly I realize its my "responsibility" to always get the condoms. But I don't even think we need condoms since she's on Depo, and the fact that she's acts like paying for Depo is some huge favor to me, when she stayed on it inbetween boyfriends and even when we weren't having sex at first.
This is not fair. If she's really so anal about this then I'd help her pay for Depo, just so everything's fifty fifty. But this isn't how a relationship should work. bull**** like it being my job to always get the condoms is silly. Am I being overreactive? Should I just let this go or is time to take a stand, especially after concedeing to only having sex with condoms and birthcontrol? Please give me feedback!
