"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How should I ask a girl out through facebook?

Shivastorm_88

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Yes I know it's really lame, but read through and you'll see why I want to do this.

Today I met a girl that used to go to my high school (that I have on facebook, even though I was never friends with her) in the metro, we started talking together and catching up, but she had to eject suddenly from the metro and rush towards the other one that was about to leave, and so did I to another one, so I didn't really get a chance to ask her out.

I was thinking of trying through facebook, how should I go about this?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mr.Freestyler19

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i dont think it would work
just cuz u talked to her doesnt mean she would go out with u................but if u want to try just be like
you we dont talk much
her ........
you we should catch up and get to know better

thts wat i would do
 

Dannyrt34

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Or...

You: Nice talking to you the other day, we should go out for drinks sometime.
Her: Sure that sounds very exciting!

nothing is guaranteed but you can't win if you don't try.
 

Shivastorm_88

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Dannyrt34 said:
Or...

You: Nice talking to you the other day, we should go out for drinks sometime.
Her: Sure that sounds very exciting!

nothing is guaranteed but you can't win if you don't try.
thanks, that's what I needed, a good way to introduce the idea, and like you said, worse that can happen is no answer, God that would be awful!
 

Forty0ztoFreedom

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"drinks sometime" is so open-ended. Thats not even asking her out it just sounds like a nicety.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kailex

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Shivastorm_88 said:
thanks, that's what I needed, a good way to introduce the idea, and like you said, worse that can happen is no answer, God that would be awful!
Um, why would it be awful?
Afraid of getting rejected?

BTW, what Forty said is CORRECT.

Don't say SOMETIME.

You're a MAN. LEAD.

You say an EXACT day that you are wanting to go out with her.

You: Nice talking to you the other day, I'm going to be going to (Insert place here) on (Insert specific day). You should come out with me.



Dunno if that's the exact wording I'd use, but it's specific and to the point.
And if she doesn't respond... SO WHAT. You move on to the next girl that you want to take out.

Rejection > Regret

EDIT: JLay makes the point down at the bottom about getting her number on Facebook and THEN asking her out through the PHONE. That's exactly what you need to do.
 

In$tinct

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Kailex said:
Um, why would it be awful?
Afraid of getting rejected?

BTW, what Forty said is CORRECT.

Don't say SOMETIME.

You're a MAN. LEAD.

You say an EXACT day that you are wanting to go out with her.

You: Nice talking to you the other day, I'm going to be going to (Insert place here) on (Insert specific day). You should come out with me.



Dunno if that's the exact wording I'd use, but it's specific and to the point.
And if she doesn't respond... SO WHAT. You move on to the next girl that you want to take out.

Rejection > Regret
You are on a role this morning, K. Keep it up!
 

ENIGMA16

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You can do this, but do it soon. This is one of those things you have to do soon otherwise it won't work. Get on Facebook chat with her and talk/flirt as if you were having a text convo, get her number quick, then pull out. Then just go from there as normal.

Don't "ask her out" over Facebook. Get the number. Then set something up over the phone.
 

Shivastorm_88

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Kailex said:
Um, why would it be awful?
Afraid of getting rejected?


BTW, what Forty said is CORRECT.

Don't say SOMETIME.

You're a MAN. LEAD.

You say an EXACT day that you are wanting to go out with her.

You: Nice talking to you the other day, I'm going to be going to (Insert place here) on (Insert specific day). You should come out with me.



Dunno if that's the exact wording I'd use, but it's specific and to the point.
And if she doesn't respond... SO WHAT. You move on to the next girl that you want to take out.

Rejection > Regret

EDIT: JLay makes the point down at the bottom about getting her number on Facebook and THEN asking her out through the PHONE. That's exactly what you need to do.
I was sarcastic :cool:

thanks for the tips guys, we'll see what will happen from here on
 

Scion

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Shivastorm_88 said:
I was thinking of trying through facebook, how should I go about this?
don't, girls don't like it. I've done it once, and later on the girl told me that's one of the reasons she said no.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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ENIGMA16

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Scion said:
don't, girls don't like it. I've done it once, and later on the girl told me that's one of the reasons she said no.
It depends entirely on the girl, and how you go about it. Besides, he has nothing to lose, so why not?

Also, just asking for the number instead of setting up the date over FB is somewhat of a workaround to this, which is why it's much more successful.
 

thecurtainfalls

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Avoid vague date requests at all costs!!!!! "We should go out sometime", "Let's get drinks one time", these are horrible weak ways of showing your interest! Like Kailex says, you need to LEAD the interaction and have a firm plan or date in mind. I can tell you 100% from in-field experience that it is a mega turn-off to throw out those vague date requests. It sounds like a veiled plea for acceptance/interest when you don't have a real plan in mind.
 

Yeah OK

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JLay87 said:
Don't "ask her out" over Facebook. Get the number. Then set something up over the phone.
I'm shocked JLay87 was the only one in the thread to say this.

Asking a girl out over Facebook is generally NEVER a good idea. Send her a message asking for her phone number... doesn't need to be anything fancy either, keep it simple and no more than 2 sentences.

"Hey our catch-up conversation got cut short by the metro just when it was getting really good.. what's your phone number?"

She will give you the phone number. When she does, call her two days after she gives it to you and ask her out by phone.

This simple method has NEVER failed me.
 

In$tinct

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Just to toss this out there for discussion… I personally do not use Facebook for anything other than friends and family. I have pictures of my sons and I, basically all sorts of things that are not any of a targets business. (At-least at first) I dont accept friend requests from plates even. If they a girl initiates contact that I already know from College or HS… That’s a different story.

Wowza… Sorry about the ramble > My question is this: What about the girls that already have their number on their profile?
 
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