"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How should I approach College

JPlaya

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I'm going to a major college, and would like to hear some suggestions from yall. Obviously girl wise. My crush is going there, and she said we could be college buddies, but is that a friendzone?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Chickfight

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yes, the chances are low you will hook up with her. Basically it's all about status in college. If you focus on that, then you can get your pick of girls, maybe even her, but if you focus on her, you're wasting your time and the best years of your life. Read "conquer your campus" ebook. That has all the info you'll need for being successful in college
 

Deicide

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Chickfight said:
yes, the chances are low you will hook up with her. Basically it's all about status in college. If you focus on that, then you can get your pick of girls, maybe even her, but if you focus on her, you're wasting your time and the best years of your life. Read "conquer your campus" ebook. That has all the info you'll need for being successful in college
Interesting observation. I know college is a closed system, but you can still get numbers by being some random guy with little perceived "college social value", as long as you're willing to cold approach. I did it this past semester, but since I'm so new to cold approaching and pick-up, it was just a big learning process. I rarely got blown out immediately, but in all honesty, my numbers were not great(15-20 numbers and only met up with 5 of them afterwards for the spring semester).
For the OP: There are women all over the place at college! I went to a Division I-AA college(8,000 students total) and there were women to approach every single day that I hadn't seen before. Don't focus on one girl at all. Instead, think of how interesting all these new mysterious girls can be. Also, learn to do some cold approaches. Chickfight knows a lot more about how to be a "high value" guy in college than I, so maybe he could elaborate on how to go from being some random guy to having nice social value.:)

To answer the OP's question: Having someone as a friend to start college isn't such a bad thing, but by all means, game this women! But don't focus on the outcome of what happens, and don't be concerned with the friendship either. If both die as a result of you wanting more, so be it. That's my advice from an inexperienced aspiring DJ, so take it with a grain of salt I suppose. I want to help, but there're guys here that can help you more than I.
 

Mike32ct

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Please review this post and associated thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1808442#post1808442

I will summarize for you briefly:

Cliques are formed VERY quickly in school, college, parties, etc. You need to talk to people right off the bat to start out on the right foot. It really is the difference between the "cool guy" who is in with the hot girls and other cool guys versus the quiet creepy outsider who struggles to get attention.

I was the "nerd" in high school and college. It wasn't because I did well academically. It was because I isolated myself intially. When I tried to recover from that and be more outgoing, it was too late. My reputation as boring quiet guy was set. I did it to myself, but didn't realize it or understand it until years later.

And yes, status is huge too. Things like frats, sports, and other organizations can help big time, but I'll defer to the other guys who have more experience in that area.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

JPlaya

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so basically be more outgoing and try to game the girl, but keep the friendship if things go bad.
 

teddy240

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I would definitley hang around campus and just flirt and play games. Its a bunch of kids fresh out on their own. Your going to make bad decisions(in a good way) and fraternities do help you get ladies. Just join the right one, high social status. I joined one, and their are alwayss girls around. Just make sure they throw the best parties, because well, thats what attracts the hottest girls.
 

Mike32ct

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Kerpal absolutely nailed it. Print out his post (including mine).

It's absolutely critical. If you want to play to win, it's your wildcard.

Go online and start researching the different organizations that you can join and move on that as soon as school starts. They will be most receptive to you at the BEGINNING. Later on, the window closes forever.

You can still be friends with that girl, but don't worry about her or trying to hook up with her. You got bigger fish to fry.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Sparky

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From what I remember from college, girls always seem to go for the guys that have a defined persona, activities and groups, not guys that seem lost.

Take up guitar or something, join a band, take part in the sports, try and keep up with the social activiites, and do all of these things for YOU. Girls aren't stupid, they can sense when you're doing it just to impress them.

You should grab college by the nuts and squeeze as much as you can out of it. Girls will pick up on that and respect you for it.

Personally when I was at college, no joke of a lie, I pulled one of the 3 top girls there. Or rather she pulled me. I was a kind of heavy metal dude at that time, played guitar in a band, hung around with the rock and metal dudes. Went to the bars with them etc.
She was not "metal" at all. Quite the opposite. I dated her for three months, never forgotten her. She was also two years older than me. I was 16 and she was 18.
I guess maybe it was that "definition" of personality she liked. The fact that I was a pretty boy in those days probably helped as well.

I know that the college I went to we were probably younger than you, but sme rules still apply. Whether you're a poet or a bodybuilder (or both?).
 

Kallaz

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Wait, so you're screwed forever if you mess up your freshman year?
I didn't take advantage of a lot of opportunities, I plan to change that next year.
 

Konada

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Mike32ct said:
Please review this post and associated thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1808442#post1808442

I will summarize for you briefly:

Cliques are formed VERY quickly in school, college, parties, etc. You need to talk to people right off the bat to start out on the right foot. It really is the difference between the "cool guy" who is in with the hot girls and other cool guys versus the quiet creepy outsider who struggles to get attention.

I was the "nerd" in high school and college. It wasn't because I did well academically. It was because I isolated myself intially. When I tried to recover from that and be more outgoing, it was too late. My reputation as boring quiet guy was set. I did it to myself, but didn't realize it or understand it until years later.

And yes, status is huge too. Things like frats, sports, and other organizations can help big time, but I'll defer to the other guys who have more experience in that area.
This. I made the same mistake a year ago and now I'm paying for it. People may acknowledge you but it won't get any further than that. Sad to say but that's life. I blame my anti-social behavior for the amount of non-existent rep I get in school, even if I'm picking myself up now.
 
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