"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How should i act around her at this point? or should i next her?

Biggie

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Ok so there's this girl who i started talking to in the spring. i had previously known she thought i was cute, so i basically told her that we were gonna go on a date, which we did. She had a lot of fun so we started "dating" or whatever for a while. Anyway she told my friend she started to have feelings for me, and since then we hung out a lot. (given that this was also during school and she's the same major so i saw her every day) Anyway i fingered her but we never actually had sex. Ever since summer started i saw her a lot less, then we both went on a 2 week vacation, and when we both got back she texted me a lot saying she really wanted to hang out.

We hung out a couple times after that, but then she started to make excuses when i asked her if she wanted to hang out and she never invited me anywhere which got really annoying so i decided to drop her. Anyway now school stuff is starting up again and i'm gonna see her every weekend at the very least. Today i saw her and unfortunately my feelings for her came back. (i really liked this girl, i definitely had a case of oneitis even though i hooked up with other girls) Anyway today i saw her and as we were leaving she mentioned to a mutual friend that she didn't get a hug from me yet today so i said "yeah that sucks huh?" with a smile on my face. Then a couple minutes later i said ok fine you can have a hug and i put my arms out. She said "i don't want one now" so i said "ok" and started to walk away. Then she said "no wait i do want one!" so i said "sorry you missed your chance" with my back still turned away from her and walked to my car.

Sorry for that being so long but i was wondering, was that last part a good move on my part? and how should i act around her when i see her every weekend?

By the way, i made the stupid mistake of telling her i cared about her and asked her what she wanted to do, like become my girlfriend or just hook up a couple months after we started dating. (This was before i knew about this site otherwise i would have known not to say anything.)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Sorry to inform you kid but she was seeing, or should I say, "being fingered", by another dude over the summer!!! Anytime a girl goes from HOT to COLD means that she has found someone HOTTER!

Do Not pursue her!
 

Biggie

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Last Man Standing said:
Sorry to inform you kid but she was seeing, or should I say, "being fingered", by another dude over the summer!!! Anytime a girl goes from HOT to COLD means that she has found someone HOTTER!
Yeah i pretty much figured this, which is fine with me cuz we weren't exclusive or anything. I mean i did a couple other chicks during the summer too.

Anyway i saw her last night cuz both went to a mutual friend's kickback. (I wasn't gonna go but this girl i've been talking about actually called me and told me to come) When i got there she was already buzzed and she was all over me. She kept trying to get my attention and she even suggested just me and her playing drinking games, which we did.

Anyway i showed her some attention but i kept most of it on my other friend who's also a girl, but i'm not attracted to her like that. I sat on the couch and she laid down with her head on my lap. What should i make of this? Oh also this was the same day i said the "sorry you missed you chance thing" seems like she just thought she might be losing me or something and kept kissing me to try and get me back obsessing over her. Which i'm not anymore!
 

Derek Flint

Master Don Juan
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You can't "Next" someone who isn't interested in you.

It may soothe your wounded ego by fooling yourself, but you're doing exactly that - you're fooling yourself.

Basically, you had your chance, blew it, and now she appears to have lost interest in you.

Don't tell her how you feel, show her. Get together with her, and see if you can advance things.

If not, then move on, but don't fool yourself into thinking you "nexted" her as you're not doing yourself any favors by being dishonest with yourself.
 
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