How sensitive is attraction?

[msi]

I'm pretty new at really understanding women and being able to make things happen. I have been trying to talk to as many girls as possible and have gotten quite a few numbers the first few weeks of college. I get these numbers, but I never get follow-ups. I tell women very little about myself and try to emotionally connect with them. I am extremely confident in all facets of my life except for with women. A lot of people are magnetized to me, I naturally become the leader in class discussions or groups and have always been the captain of sports teams. A woman might not know this, but it reflects in the way I sit and speak and I feel like women expect more of me than I actually understand how to give.

It goes like this, the failure that hurt the most so far:
-meet girl in class, good chemistry
-tell her we should go hang out somewhere after class
-we do, we sit and talk for an hour and are into each other. I try to get her to invite me to her dorm but she doesn't, I should persist more next time. Get her number.
-next class day she seems dressed to impress me. I set up a study date with her in two days. She seems excited. I never set a definite time.
-day of study date, she is once again dressed like she wants me to notice. I see her in class and tell her we should go study. She seems flattered at how I said it directly, says she didn't think I meant after class and she has to go take care of a few things and that she doesn't know what time she'll be good for.
-I tell her I want a definite time, she says she'll text me later. It feels like she's blowing me off.
-I text her about a half hour later saying I need a definite time or else I'm making other plans (I was trying to balance hanging out with her with something else I had to do)

My real question here, is when is it OK to persist in situations like these? How do you do it without being needy when you are trying to go to her place and not yours? I feel like I could have slept with her the day we met if I could have charmingly convinced her to invite me to her dorm. And on the day of our "study-date" I feel like I could have convinced her to hang out for an hour or two. I kind of think she wanted me to do that.

Do women want you to persist? Do things like texting her the way I did (ie do it this way or it won't happen) kill attraction? Does attraction generally expire? I am not afraid of moving fast, but I do not want to kiss her in a location that cannot lead to sex (like the quad).

 

[Fly By Night]

That Harry Wilmington guy made a thread about last minute dates. That's kind of what you did by asking her to study RIGHT after class. It is showing little respect to her time. This can turn her off. So now you tried to set up another date with her lowered interest and now she is putting it off. I think you can still get her, but it be better if you persist face to face. Make the date appointment when you see her in class so she will have to give you a definite answer.

Most likely she will agree... Unless you were boring as f*** the last time you spent an hour talking to her. i.e. No kino or escalation. And while I am on that subject, no. I don't think you could have slept with her because you said you just TALKED to her for an hour. Talking to women alone doesn't make them want to eff you.

Edit: And yes, attraction can expire. You best believe it. And why won't you kiss her without sex? That will kill her attraction because women generally like the TENSION of sex, not rushing into it. You are cutting your supply of effable women with that mindset.

 

[scholarjan]

YOU CAN'T CREATE ATTRACTION, you can SEDUCE her, only if she has a gram or an ounce of attraction. The point is the more attractive she finds you, the better the chances are to seduce her.

You just have better chances in manipulating her with hormones, when she first knows you. Its the excitement/adrenaline of meeting another charming person. When time passes that person becomes more ordinary or less appealing.

 

[msi]

Next time I will try to at least make out with a woman who I manage to move with me. Where we sat made it hard to get close to her. That was my fault for not leading properly and choosing a better spot. I also don't text her at all, the above was the only thing I have ever texted her. I planned on trying to set something up in person. I was thinking of suggesting we hang out and listen to some music or whatever. Or is that too direct?

But by persist I mean if, when I said "let's go study" she looked flattered. Should I have persisted there? Keep suggesting we go study, "just for an hour," etc. Do you guys have time frames for women? Like if you don't hook up within two weeks it's probably a lost cause?

 

[scholarjan]

Next time I will try to at least make out with a woman who I manage to move with me. Where we sat made it hard to get close to her. That was my fault for not leading properly and choosing a better spot. I also don't text her at all, the above was the only thing I have ever texted her. I planned on trying to set something up in person. I was thinking of suggesting we hang out and listen to some music or whatever. Or is that too direct?

But by persist I mean if, when I said "let's go study" she looked flattered. Should I have persisted there? Keep suggesting we go study, "just for an hour," etc. Do you guys have time frames for women? Like if you don't hook up within two weeks it's probably a lost cause?

If I don't hook up within a week its a lost cause. The sooner the better, because it demonstrates that the girl is really eager in getting to know you, and that the feeling is mutual. Don't set up time frames, talk to the point where you feel is comfortable, and when you feel the conversation beginning to die you cut loose. If she isn't talking too much or asking questions, interrupt in the middle of a silence and mention that you remembered that you needed to do something. If you leave too early little rapport is built, if you stay too long, you lose productive time that you could have spent on your hobbies etc.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but you have to test women too. Not only is it productive, but sometimes girl like that type of drive in a man. It demonstrates self confidence, and ability to control himself.

Second don't be afraid to make friends. This is expanding on your social circle. If she rejects you romantically, friend zone her if possible. Remember don't get oneitis and try to girlfriend her later, it may backfire on you.

 

[msi]

When you give it a week, is that for a girl you meet at a club or a bookstore? Basically a place where you're not going to see her again. I feel like the time frame might depend on where or how you meet her.

I also don't know if I buy into the friend zone if you're willing to make a move. I've been friend zoned in the past and I've learned from that, but every situation arose from a girl being on my couch and myself not escalating things. I guess our first meeting counts, but I feel like very few men are truly capable of bedding women the day they meet them.

 

[scholarjan]

Yeah, girls whom I have no connection with, in classes, clubs, etc. What I meant was don't keep it too long and don't keep it too short, keep it comfortable. Don't be routine, if the situation presents itself to be long or short, adapt to it. It sounds difficult, but you have to learn how to develop a feel for these things. Its called being natural. You want to avoid being mechanical as possible, you want to be thorough, concise and to the point. Its unexpected for how long a genuine man is going to stick around, since he stays and goes as he pleases. Of course there are extreme where a person can stay with a girl for hours, or 40 seconds like Paul Janka.

Man if she's genuinely into you, there is no snowball's chance in HELL, she would let you be JUST A FRIEND. WOMEN ARE VERY TERRITORIAL! So those past women obviously were not that interested. If she isn't that interested or reciprocates to a level that is below your standards in what you consider game on, you have to take the reverse role and friend zone her.

Indeed it is very difficult to bed women in one day. You would have to ask 100 women and out of those 100 maybe 2-4 if your lucky. Don't rush things, if you want to be a legit. If the opportunity presents itself that she wants to be laid, then go ahead, but don't rush into a girl who was just sitting there. You have to escalate, but you have to do it smoothly its like mastering a Stick Shift Truck. You can't* master a woman though. You can master yourself, and how you react, not her.

 

[msi]

So would suggesting that her and I should hang out and watch a movie the next time I see her in class be routine? I read all this stuff on not "chasing" women and it seems like I'd be chasing her if I asked again. But that's the only way to really get it done, so whatever. I think she's really cool, but I don't communicate with her outside of class and have gotten two other numbers since I met her (which is good for what I used to get).

I think being natural is something I struggle with. I can say "let's go do X" or something pretty smoothly, but when I'm inviting a girl over to watch a movie or something I have trouble finding the right point in the conversation to ask.

Kino is just touching, right? Do you guys have any tips on that? I usually put my hand on her (or any girl's) back while we're in a crowd or whatever. Or brush my chest or whatever up against her if the opportunity prevents itself.

I guess those are both very minor, but I'm not a PUA or anything, and not totally interested in becoming that, but I think there are definitely useful thoughts and abilities to be taken from the PUA school.

And I do sort of screen/test women. Both in terms of blunt questions and replying to some extent. In fact the text I sent to this girl was sort of test. I suggested a time to meet up and said I wanted a definite time so I can schedule other plans. I think a woman who would be worth more than sex/doesn't want to just hook up would not reply to that.

 

[scholarjan]

You sound confused brah, and no that isn't routine. Movies aren't my thing, I would try parks, cafe, and anywhere public where I can catch her attention to myself. Most guys use the TWO STRIKE YOUR OUT, game. I use the ONE STRIKE YOUR OUT, next. If she doesn't seem eager the first time then why would she feel it for another offering?

Mention it casually, this is a conversation not a college essay. In the end, middle or beginning of a conversation it doesn't really matter. If she's interested she will respond the same way.

Yeah light touching, like when making a point you lightly touch her elbow, and such. There are phases of escalation, Vin DiCarlo has a pretty good guide on that, so google it.

Learn how to be a "Genuine Man," don't become a misogynistic PUA.

Use text messages to build rapport, don't make conversations too long, the shorter the better. Use the phone as a tool to make dates. Generally, a woman who is not interested would not reply.

Don't worry Rome was not built in one day, don't stress yourself its only natural that you goof up.

 

[msi]

I tend to over-analyze things a lot, even though I know that's bad. I can be communicating with multiple women, but if I like one more than the others then I still lose my **** sometimes. I need to work on that.

Are you saying she would have responded to my text in some shape or form if she was interested or is that just general advice? Normally I wouldn't follow up if a woman didn't respond, but I don't know about this situation. I haven't heard from her and obviously there's no reason for me to text her.