How quickly do girls get attached to 1 guy, and if you mess up then what?

[Confused]

One thing I'm always fearful of is when I come on too strong, act AFC, pushy etc I always worry about another guy taking my spot and escalating to the level where she's thinking about him and only him. How quickly do girls become attached to 1 guy and forget the rest?

I'm a control freak and I need to curb this as I keep doing too much, too available around too much. I end up getting concerned that if it's the weekend then some other guy wil be railing her and it should be me so I end up keep doing stuff to try to make amends.

Is it better to sit back and just be the 1 who catches her out clubbing and escalating there?

I mean pick her up during the day, raise interest, so when you get to the club when she's there with her friends you can escalate with minimal cost?

 

[J. Darko]

There are no other guys. It's just you and the girl. You are not going to compete, because great guys simply have no equals. You do think of yourself as a great guy, right?

 

[Ease]

Sounds like insecurity.

Of course there are other guys out there, but you as a man need to believe in yourself and that means believe you are better and she will not stray.

I cant quite relate to your specific problem, but i know insecurity effects differently to different people, in your case you are putting excessive thought of her liking someone else better. The problem isn't really her interest level in you compared to others, its more of an irrational thought thats within you. Everyone has their own strange insecurities from time to time.

Realise that it is insecurity that is in you that causes these thoughts, and realise that its irrational. Then stop worrying about what she does, and worry about what you do. If you hold down your end then theres nothing else you can do. Its all about her interest level in YOU, not other guys. Stop worrying about petty things, relax.

 

[bukowski_merit]

One thing I'm always fearful of is when I come on too strong, act AFC, pushy etc I always worry about another guy taking my spot and escalating to the level where she's thinking about him and only him. How quickly do girls become attached to 1 guy and forget the rest?

This is why so many guys struggle with NO CONTACT. They think, "if i don't talk to her - some other guy will". Some react the same way when told to not always be available. They'll say, "but if she asks to come over and i tell her im busy, she'll just go hang out with some other guy.".... It's all rooted in jealousy and insecurity. If you fear these things - you have a lot of work to do on yourself. I'm not perfect with either, and i don't believe anyone is. But to worry about these things??? You need work...

I'm a control freak and I need to curb this as I keep doing too much, too available around too much.

Being a control freak is rooted in jealousy as well.... Being too available and wanting to hang out and do too much with her - is your attempt to get her attached to you and "only you". The opposite works much better. You can be clingy with a woman, and be around her for months, and it can work. You will have your control (assuming she has high IL from the start). But i assure you - it will all come crashing down within 3-6 months (possibly sooner).

I end up getting concerned that if it's the weekend then some other guy wil be railing her and it should be me so I end up keep doing stuff to try to make amends.

You mean - you try to occupy her with you so that she can't look anywhere else. Problem is - women in general do not revolve their life around always being occupied with men (there are some exceptions but they are not women you would do anything other than start a sexual relation with). So this is unnecessary and counter-productive to getting her "attached" to you. How can she desire something she already has unlimited access to?

I mean pick her up during the day, raise interest, so when you get to the club when she's there with her friends you can escalate with minimal cost?

You mean - minimal competition from other guys.

And no, i don't think that's such a big deal (the act). I've hung out with many women a few hours before we were supposed to go out. To get some one-on-one rapport and build up. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[tafakna]

Confused,

By reading your other posts it seems you're always falling into the same traps. So what do you have to lose trying the opposite?

Be aloof, break dates, be unpredictable and unattached. Do that with some girl you have no interest in, so at least you get a better grip of what works for you...

'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results'

 

[Igetit!]

'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results'

This is true,however,he won't listen.


In case you guys haven't realized it yet,the "Confused" guy is really DRIFT KING.


I credit Schoolboy for clueing me in to this.


Obviously he hasn't learned a thing from all the advice he's gotten in his previous threads under his real surname.




I'll give him this though...he chose an accurate username this time.