How persistant should you be? When do you stop?

[FrankWank]

So you see a hot babe. All the signs of interest from her end are there - eye contact, touching, hair tossing etc.... , so you know she wants you, So you go for the digits and she happily gives it to you. So you wait a few days to call her. Suppose to be a technique that raises her interest level by building anxiety. But some women dont like this and they want you to call the next day. Too me, calling the next day is a sign and desperate needy guy. I wait 3-5 days to call which i think is cool. Of course when you do call her, you try and reach her at night somewhere between 8-10 maybe getting her actual voice on the phone, but you know your going to get her voicemail. You leave a message stating your name and number and for her to give you a call.

Will she return your call that same night? She could be busy. Maybe at work or out with some friends. So lets say she doesnt return your call at all. Do you just call that one time and if she doesnt return it, you move on? Do you try again in a couple days? Do you just give up and its her loss? How many attempts do you make? Women will do this to test your interest level in her aka game playing. But if she was really interested in you, would'nt she just return your call instead of playing games?

 

[comote]

you should have set a date when you first met her. Then you don't have to deal with this sh!t. If she tries to say call me you know you are dealing with a control freak.

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by FrankWank
So you see a hot babe. All the signs of interest from her end are there - eye contact, touching, hair tossing etc.... , so you know she wants you, So you go for the digits and she happily gives it to you. So you wait a few days to call her. Suppose to be a technique that raises her interest level by building anxiety. But some women dont like this and they want you to call the next day. Too me, calling the next day is a sign and desperate needy guy. I wait 3-5 days to call which i think is cool. Of course when you do call her, you try and reach her at night somewhere between 8-10 maybe getting her actual voice on the phone, but you know your going to get her voicemail. You leave a message stating your name and number and for her to give you a call.

Will she return your call that same night? She could be busy. Maybe at work or out with some friends. So lets say she doesnt return your call at all. Do you just call that one time and if she doesnt return it, you move on? Do you try again in a couple days? Do you just give up and its her loss? How many attempts do you make? Women will do this to test your interest level in her aka game playing. But if she was really interested in you, would'nt she just return your call instead of playing games?

After number closing a girl I usually go with a 2 call limit. What I mean is, I will call her and try to set something up. If things don't pan out the way I planned, I will take it as possibly a sign of no interest, but I will try one more time. If things don't pan out the second time I move on. This is just me, however. Some other people probably will disagree with my approach.

 

[So pimp its scary]

In sales, they'll teach you to persist through 3-5 no's or more as long as the person isn't getting frustrated at you... cause that'll lead to 'complaints'.

After reading your post :

Stop leaving messages on the machine of the girl you just met, you can listen to what the machine says in the hopes that it will confirm that the number is real, but NO MORE MESSAGES! (At least untill you know that she will return your messages)

Also, why wait 3-5 days? It's not the time waiting that makes a difference. I will wait 1-4 days... depending on my availability, and the vibe I got.

I would suggest trying to call up to 2 more times (or 1 if she answers the first time), no leaving messages.

 

[Craig Reeves]

But if she was really interested in you, wouldn't she just return your call instead of playing games?

No.

Even when women are very interested in you, they will test you to see if you are the persistant type, the clingy type, or the type that gives up when things don't go exactly the way he wants them to go.

Look, if she doesn't return your call, then just call her again in a few days until you are able to reach her. After about 3 tries, you'll probably get sick of the run around so throw her number away and find somebody else who will at least return your calls.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

The topic of persistance has really messed with my head lately. Especially after reading the article on www.sosuave.com called Confident persistence and More confident persistence. So allow me to expand the scope of this topic.

I'm interested in when persistence is appropriate in all stages of the seduction and when a big fat NEXT or at least a withdraw is appropriate. Make the ho say no? Women usually avoid saying no and say other things like "I'm busy" or they don't answer and don't call back. So when do you quit? At LJBF? I've only gotten that from one girl and she was in my social circle. Persistence is a grey area that seems to be up to the individual but it drives me crazy with self doubt---"Maybe I should've hung in there?" or "Maybe I'm being a chump and wasting my time by calling yet again?"

Phone calls don't really bother me as much as other stages like her lack of kino, or hot/cold, or she starts flirting with other dudes in front of you, or she's been happily accepting dates but now she's too busy, or she ends foreplay right before sex. What should your response be? Persist or withdraw? Is she playing hard to get and testing your IL and thus you should persist? Or is she testing how much she can manipulate you and you should withdraw and make her chase you again? Or are these signs of low IL and disrespect? You should next or at least withdraw and let her chase you again. It seems that one's interpretation of her actions depends on how strict of a philosophy you subscribe to. There's a continuum of philosophies out there. The fact is that, while we can make educated guesses, no one REALLY knows what the girl's true motives are.

It would be great to find some certainty on the matter so I'm not bumbling around like a clueless afc. Certainty would illuminate the right actions to take. How to be certain? I'm not certain. I'm trying things on my own and trusting my gut but am plagued with self doubt. Hell, I don't even know MY motivations. Am I nexting her because I'm an afc who wants to protect his ego from rejection or because I respect myself and know I deserve better?

I keep in mind that there are millions of girls and it doesn't matter if I screw up seductions. I also see how too much theory is harmful and so I'm trying to get out into the field more and find my own way. I do have a general idea of seduction. Finally, I know that I should just do whatever I want to do regardless of her actions.

YET, I AM trying to get an understanding of seduction and improve my skills. I'm not satisfied to just "let things happen" without understanding why they happen. And I'm hesistant to "do what I want" when I'm not sure of my own motivations. Infatuation and AFC residue can be decieving. I WANT to flat out ask girls what the deal is but THAT doesn't work.

Ok I'll quit whining. Thoughts?

 

[FrankWank]

Well im no moron to ask her out on her vm!

I left a message on my 1st call with my name and # and for her to call me back, cuz i didnt give it to her the night i got her #. That's all i said. I didnt compliment or beg for anything. This was monday night. Its tuesday night and she hasnt returned my call. Yeah she could be testing me to see if i'll keep on calling her.

I'll give her a 2nd chance on friday with another call, if i dont here from her the rest of this week. This will be my last and final call. She's 27 and needs to get her head outta her azz and grow up and return a simple phone call. The 2nd phone call will be a hang up if i get vm She got my first message and all cells have caller id, so no excuses

Im not going to keep calling her every single day. I got other women to call

 

[Austin Allegro]

I'm bumping this because I've been thinking this over a lot and feel it's an area that needs exploring.

I think a certain amount of persistance is required in dating. For whatever reason - time restraints, competition from other men, etc, women just seem to expect a certain amount of persistance. Since they won't run after YOU most of the time, if you act too aloof and disinterested, the danger is they will fall into the arms of the nearest AFC that they find attractive.

In my experience though, chicks that are really into you WILL call or get back or make it easy for you. I've never stuck around long enough with the 'hard to gets' because I've never been bothered, but lately I met a 'hard to get' who was stunning and I've wondered if it's worth persisting.

Any thoughts/ideas/experiences?

 

[Paintballguy]

Don't judge a girl on a few missed calls. I almost did that and it turns out she was working and she has a rep of not picking up her phone. I was about to next her but she called back. Good thing too because I enjoy hanging out with her and her hot friends.

Its really hard to explain the right balance because you have to adjust for the type of girl and situation.

 

[squirrels]

Call once, leave a short message. "Hey, it's ____, give me a call back, xxx-xxxx" (I've heard some of the PUAs getting more creative and humorous on machines, but it depends on your style)

Wait a few days, call again. No message this time.

If you don't get her, the third call is strictly optional, depending on how good an impression this girl made on you.

Don't leave more than one message. But what if she didn't get it?? She got it.

But if you don't leave a message, EVER, that's just insecure and ridiculous. Especially with cellphones, women will look at the number before they decide to answer. If they see some strange number they've never seen, they may decide to just not pick up and see who it is on the message.

If she REALLY wants to talk to you, she'll see your number next time you call and pick up. But if you don't leave the message...

 

[Austin Allegro]

I suppose my concerns are not so much with calls, but with mixed buying signals on dates. Quite often I'll meet someone, the first date will go well with kino, EC etc, then she'll flake/not reply to calls/go cold etc.

Does persistance work in these cases or is it better to cut your losses and move on? Since women don't know what they want 99% of the time, is it really such a good idea to move on just because she doesn't fall for you straight away?

I know for a fact that some women DO play hard to get and do respond to persistance - but should a DJ just ignore these kinds of women and leave them to the AFCs?

 

[Player_Supreme]

Well frankly, that waiting 3-5 days is a bunch of crap to me. If I meet em in the clubs then I actually will call their cell phone that night when I leave...cause I want to get their voice mail.

Women know I'm a player and are shocked and flattered when I call that night. I do not say call me back. I say I will email them or call them at a certain time.

If I meet them at a resturant or book store I will call within 24 hours.

I've found that women's interest level can actually wane after a few days. In my case they know or fear that I'm only going to play them and commonsense sets in. So I must move while the fires are still burning.

I try to create a seduction within 3-4 days of meeting. My goals are to put her into a world of dreams and keep her asleep as long as possible.

Never leave a wimp message on their voice mail, after that first call. Too keep leaving messages makes you look desperate. State a time when you believe she will be home and tell her you will call her at such and such time.

If she is truely interested then she will make it a point to either call you back or be there when you call. If I don't get an answer after that then I will move the fawk on. No ho is worth this amount of MY time.

Never wait for them to call you.