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How often to ask a girl to hangout without being needy?

adamw5963

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I've gone 2 mini dates with this hb. The first one was a week ago and it was just getting ice cream for 30 minutes. She seemed kinda in a hurry plus I told her I had to be at my grandmas. She gave me some IOIs and I hugged her at the end but other than that no kino. The next date was last thursday. We just went to eat at night bc she always works weekends. We were gonna play puttputt after the dinner but it was almost closing time and she didnt want to be rude to the workers. She kept talking about how she was so tired and had been busy all day. So I let her go. She was giving my IOIs all through dinner and asking me questions though. I hugged her again and rubbed her arms. But like an idiot I still didnt try to kiss her. It has been 3 days since then and we text 4 or 5 times a day. She usually initiates it. Should I go on and ask her to go out again or will that seem too needy? Oh and she hasnt really given me any compliments other than I'm a great big brother to my lil bro. If that matters at all haha.
 
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TillTheEndOfTime

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If you want a number, once every 6 weeks. I pulled that number out of my butt, but it sounds about right. If she is into you, you won't have to ask more than 2-3 times, so you should be dating in 4 months or so. After 3 times and still no play? Dump and forget, it ain't happening.

Of course don't be silly and wait for her and her alone during the 3 tries. Keep checking out other girls in the meantime. Sarge on....
 

Iceberg

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adamw5963 said:
I've gone 2 mini dates with this hb. The first one was a week ago and it was just getting ice cream for 30 minutes. She seemed kinda in a hurry plus I told her I had to be at my grandmas. She gave me some IOIs and I hugged her at the end but other than that no kino. The next date was last thursday. We just went to eat at night bc she always works weekends. We were gonna play puttputt after the dinner but it was almost closing time and she didnt want to be rude to the workers. She kept talking about how she was so tired and had been busy all day. So I let her go. She was giving my IOIs all through dinner and asking me questions though. I hugged her again and rubbed her arms. But like an idiot I still didnt try to kiss her. It has been 3 days since then and we text 4 or 5 times a day. She usually initiates it. Should I go on and ask her to go out again or will that seem too needy? Oh and she hasnt really given me any compliments other than I'm a great big brother. If that matters at all haha.

I see no problem in asking a girl to hang out every week or two. So, let's say you went on a date with her last Thursday. Today (sunday) would be a good day to check in with her and set something up for Wed or Thurs.

The only problem I'm having with you is the texting 4 or 5 times per day. She's not your girlfriend. Being in constant contact doesn't increase attraction....it kills it. From my perspective, if I see a girl on Thursday, I might send her a text on Saturday...just something quick and funny to keep in touch. Then I'd text a day or two later to set up a date. 4 or 5 times per day is too much....real couples don't even have that much to say to each other, so I can't even imagine what you two are talking about.

And my last piece of advice...If you DO get to Date#3, go for the damn kiss. She's not going to do it for you. It's your job. If a girl likes you, and she doesn't get any action from you after 3 dates, you just Friend Zoned yourself. She wants action. You want action. Make it happen.
 

adamw5963

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I agree Iceberg. The only reason I text her back is because she does me and feel like I'm being rude if I don't. She's only 19 so I figure she loves to text.
 

Chickfight

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Iceberg gets it right yet again. Once a week is fine, but don't be afraid to go out within 4-5 days if a good date opportunity (high value situation on your side) presents itself.

Way too much texting. Also, you definitely gotta physically escalate more. You don't have to go super fast, as long as you're escalating. I had a girl a long time ago who I hung out with about 6-7 times before we kissed (strict parents, Christian, I was less experienced.), but it still worked, because every time we met eachother, we were more intimate (light touching, hugging, arm on hip, arm around shoulder, hand holding, holding from behind, sitting on my lap, stroking). Of course, it was all very highschool and it's not how I operate anymore.

But don't use taking it slow as an excuse to not escalate. You HAVE to escalate in every case, or it becomes the very definition of stale. She would not have gone out with me more than twice if I had never touched her and escalated.

Oh and a tip on the texting. Always try to cut the convo's short, tell her you'll call her some time and that you don't really dig texting much.
 

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