how often have you changed freindship circles ?

[Bingo-Player]

ok I've swerved this situation for years but now at 25 I am finally starting to hit that point where most of my friends are starting to find it difficult to be alone

I.E not have a member of the opposite sex there to provide them with the illusion of a "happy fulfilling life"

this is leading a few of them to believe that they "need to sort there life's out" I.E stop partying or partaking in any type of fun selfish activity and direct all focus on saving money to buy a house so they can grow a family in

to be honest the thought of all that cr@p makes me want to be sick i have no interest in it

all I want to do is have fun and explore the world learn new skills and meet as many interesting people as I possibly can

has anyone else experienced this sort of thing in life before ? and if so what did you do ?

 

[Von]

Well even guys have a ''biological clock''.... the changes you are seeing is mostly cause by ''Done with School, Got the Job, now where is the Girl'' feeling.

Been there where I graduated and got the career going.... now career putting me back in school... so I don't care much about girl (in monk style). Homeownership is also a drug ''you'll make money if you buy, renting is a waste''... but is it really in our generation?

People who stop their ''self-growth'' start having what you described above

I would say around me.... 90% people are engaged and getting married after meeting their girl the year before (so 1 year LTR and getting married)... must have bought already something. Some lauching start-up after leaving job etc..

Friends come and goes... but I believe 25-30 years is where you meet people who will last a lifetime, the others will be gone in 2-3 years (University, Professionnal Work, Voluntering)

If they have kids... expect them to ditch their single friends.

Why at 25-30 years old they wanna settle for life ? No idea... cause I am not there yet.

About your friends... only being active and having commun interest will make you more friends/connections... but has you get older.... you'll tend to have fewer friends but more solid ones

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Man. I'm just coming out the end of that very cycle.

It's perfectly natural. Well, I say natural.... it's what blue pill folks think is expected of them, and they don't have to skills to entertain multiple women to keep them company.

You are 24. What will typically happen over the next 5 years or so, is your guys will disappear one by one, sometimes two at a time, spending more and more time, energy and money on achieving marriage, which is the aforementioned self-imposed expectation. What they are actually failing to understand that women are generally becoming more red pill - independent and actually don't really want to settle down in their mid-twenties anymore. This can only benefit red pill men.

By the time you reach my age (early 30's), those some of those friends you will probably see once maybe twice a year for a wedding, or birthday or something. Many will have disappeared completely. You'll have smaller, more numerous circles you go between.

By this point some will be painfully bored of the life they've chosen, and will view you and your lifestyle ultimately with envy. Put it this way - one of my mates has just found out his gf is pregnant. He is NOT happy about it. It's like he's turned from a fun-loving, jokey guy to a grumpy old b@stard overnight. He's basically drowning his sorrows in the pub with strangers every night till 1am rather than going home to his pregnant GF.

This is not the first time I've seen this realisation descend on a man. It probably won't be the last either.

Other attached friends of mine have previously said, 'TMK, you live such a crazy life' - because I've traveled the country working and am single.... I'm not sure how that's crazier than tying yourself down to one job, house, woman with only a quarter of your life gone; but hey, I digress slightly.

Long story short, you will have to find new mates. It's fairly easy if you frequent places regularly and are doing things you enjoy. I personally prefer different circles to go between; I've never really been one for huge exclusive social circles.

It also gives you more time to go out solo, which I prefer nowadays anyway; minimal investment to the people you meet and fewer distractions when you meet women.

Good mates will stick around and others will seem to reappear after a few years absence. For example, I'm moving in with an old uni mate next week. Good mates know you don't really wanna hang around with their snotty babies, especially as a single man; so they will make the effort to organise drinks etc on occasion.

What these guys your age don't realise is that once you get to my age, even once you get to 40 or 50, your twenties can basically happen all over again, so long as you've looked after your body and mind. And still then, they can settle if they chose to. I spent most of my late twenties chasing this LTR dream and have nothing to show for it. Except maybe experience of hindsight, which is of considerable value itself I suppose.

 

[Bingo-Player]

What these guys your age don't realise is that once you get to my age, even once you get to 40 or 50, your twenties can basically happen all over again, so long as you've looked after your body and mind. And still then, they can settle if they chose to. I spent most of my late twenties chasing this LTR dream and have nothing to show for it. Except maybe experience of hindsight, which is of considerable value itself I suppose.

yea I got lucky I tried chasing it when I was REALLY young like 19 - 21 I really wanted that loving GF who would always be there for me etc etc

spew

and then I found SS realized none of it exists, banged a ton of chicks and swallowed a healthy dose of red pill and now I don't remember the last time a woman's actions bothered me

I think I may go travelling on my own soon try and pick some friends up in other country's

 

[mrgoodstuff]

yea I got lucky I tried chasing it when I was REALLY young like 19 - 21 I really wanted that loving GF who would always be there for me etc etc

spew

and then I found SS realized none of it exists, banged a ton of chicks and swallowed a healthy dose of red pill and now I don't remember the last time a woman's actions bothered me

I think I may go travelling on my own soon try and pick some friends up in other country's

It exists, but it's not going to usually be in the "hot girl" body that is SS main target.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Im 31 and never ever felt the need to settle or have a stable relationship as mandatory, guess my brain is still ruinning the previous version of the os.

Guys looking to settle at 25??? I mean thats basically the peak of your yough, its when you got the muscle at the gym and the ability to bang 19yrs old girls while still be culturally allowed to.

Agree that men peak between 30 and 40 but the peak as a young guy is exactly mid 20s, its when u're close to be a man physically and mentally but still in a youth environment.

Regarding circle of friends Im more of a lone wolf and I chance circles according to what Im doing in a certain moment and place, most gf of my friends try to betaize them and see me as a threat to their plan therefore it gets complicate.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Im 31 and never ever felt the need to settle or have a stable relationship as mandatory, guess my brain is still ruinning the previous version of the os.

Guys looking to settle at 25??? I mean thats basically the peak of your yough, its when you got the muscle at the gym and the ability to bang 19yrs old girls while still be culturally allowed to.

Agree that men peak between 30 and 40 but the peak as a young guy is exactly mid 20s, its when u're close to be a man physically and mentally but still in a youth environment.

Regarding circle of friends Im more of a lone wolf and I chance circles according to what Im doing in a certain moment and place, most gf of my friends try to betaize them and see me as a threat to their plan therefore it gets complicate.

Thing about it is you can see whats going to happen in the game, settle down at 25, get more stable. Spend your time bettering yourself and your career and financial options, while you have a lady at home who is supportive and phvcks your brains out and leaves little to be desired to look at. That's the dream.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This it's one of the things I don't like about myself, I wish I kept friends longer. I drop friends when they stop making me happy. Part of me likes this, and part hates me for doing this.

For example. One of my old school buds started acting funny around me, then I noticed our common friends were the ones inviting me to his place when he had a bbq or whatever. For some reason he just didn't value our time together anymore it felt like. I caught myself constantly trying to figure out why I felt this way about him. In the end I just figured I was spending too much time on negativity and stopped calling or coming around. He tried to reach out but I didn't take his calls and I have to admit I'm a happier person now.

People change as they get older and what brought you guys together initially just isn't there anymore sometimes.

I don't really regret these decisions per se. I just wish I was a different person sometimes, one that has more room in his life or tolerance for things like this.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I just wish I was a different person sometimes

As the old saying goes, you can wish in to one hand and sh!t in to the other; and guess which one is going to fill up quicker.

The thing is, it's no one's fault. As you say, people and circumstances just change. I sometimes think the same way about my friends in my home town. That being, they all stayed there while I went to study in the city - I made the effort to stay in touch, they didn't reciprocate, so I just stopped as well in the end. Their horizons and aspirations didn't change, where mine did.

There's no opportunity there for me now, I'd be a big fish in small pond, which though would have it's benefits, I would get claustrophobic and bored very quickly. You can literally walk from one side of town to the other in less than an hour. My parents even moved away, so I maybe go back once a year to see a couple of people now. It's sad, but that just the way life pans out and I have very few regrets.

 

[Desdinova]

I've had many social circles form and disappear over time. Guys get involved with girls, go to college, get a job with 5hitty hours, move, take up a new hobby, and the list goes on. There's all kinds of reasons that social circles vanish. You just have to form or find new ones.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

31 years of age and let me tell you I've had many groups of friends. We all connected for out different reasons, but sometimes you have to ask yourself what brought you guys together and what do you guys really have in common? Do you see this friendship growing in to perhaps a business partner, or some loyal you can trust? Like some said on here I lost friends, made new ones and some old ones came back in to my life. I'm more aware of what friends I want in my life and which ones I want out or to minimize out. As you grow you find out who you have much in common with and which ones you don't. You go sniff out the artificial friendships. I have friends I play fantasy football with or gamble and others who I play video games with.

Most "friends" are not really your friends, I had to learn that valuable lesson. Majority are phonies

 

[wifehunter]

ok I've swerved this situation for years but now at 25 I am finally starting to hit that point where most of my friends are starting to find it difficult to be alone

I.E not have a member of the opposite sex there to provide them with the illusion of a "happy fulfilling life"

this is leading a few of them to believe that they "need to sort there life's out" I.E stop partying or partaking in any type of fun selfish activity and direct all focus on saving money to buy a house so they can grow a family in

to be honest the thought of all that cr@p makes me want to be sick i have no interest in it

all I want to do is have fun and explore the world learn new skills and meet as many interesting people as I possibly can

has anyone else experienced this sort of thing in life before ? and if so what did you do ?

they sound like no fun, I would move on to greener pastures.

 

[BeExcellent]

People who stop their ''self-growth'' start having what you described above

^^^This. They are stagnating. If you are continuing to grow and evolve you are going to naturally evolve into a group of friends who are more attuned to where you are in life. And you'll outgrow & gradually drift away from those who are not aligned with you. This is a continual process in life as you keep growing and changing. Along the way a very few people will stick and those people will become long term friends, but those are very few indeed, and you may not even have routine contact with them.

In the school years (which I consider through university setting) people are typically defined by the group they are part of. Same is true in life. It's just that when you are relatively young in the life process this natural evolution/transition/continuum seems weird because it is unfamiliar up to this point in your life. The self sorting that happens easily in the proximity and constant exposure to a volume of people that is characteristic of the school environment is not a true representation of how social dynamics work in the rest of life.

People get lonely because they've always been surrounded by people by default. When that structure goes away they often times don't realize now that social interaction rests with their own initiative rather than the structure of the environment in which they exist. These buddies will make friends with co-workers because that is the new structure for example, and that new environment will become the structure that defines them instead of school. They go from school environs to work environs and accept that as their new structure and social construct. That is the essence of "blue pill" in the sense that it isn't terribly self-aware and it is very "plugged in."

They are on the "Go to school, go to work, get married, raise kids, work your ass off until you die or retire" plan. And chances are they will get their lives wrecked along the way by someone (or some woman) who takes advantage of them, or, a percentage around 1/2 will experience this outcome. They are needy by definition as you describe them because they feel a sense of LACK in their lives.

There is no shame in fondly watching this group fade from the forefront in your life. Especially if you are unplugged already (which you seem to be). Be open to meeting new people more in touch with where you are and your interests and ambitions and you'll find people like you to hang out with and enjoy. Get out there and be engaged and meet them.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

People are getting married later and spending more time to have "fun" now, that is where 30 is the new 20 came from. I guess helicopter parenting stunting the growth of kids, economic conditions making kids move back home after college where they are treated like kids, and moral decay is leading to it. So many of these kids who feel like they missed out on college or the party experience of their youth are now using the rest of their 20s to party it up hard. I saw more craziness working at a nightclub than I ever did at a frat house, it was not even close.

Moving on, I never got too attached to friends. I never want anything more out of them other than a conversation or heading out to the club together, outside of that it's just whatever. Too many people expect too much out of "friends", just be happy if they're willing to socialize with you on some occasions and go out with you, big difference between friends and family.

I've had a lot of acquaintances but it was not like high school or college where we see each other, form tight bonds, share experiences, and have those funny moments to look back on. Now it's just go out, have a fun night, make sure everyone gets home safely, and that's about it.