"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How often does your wife compliment you?

Old Player

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My wife never compliments me on anything.

Never tells me I look good

Never tells me I am a great dad

I do a podcast and never once said good job.

Never ever compliments me on anything

Is this normal?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jc_80

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did she ever compliment you in the beginning?
do you compliment her?

I was married once. she complimented me often.
 

mangotot

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Why do you need someone to praise you? Its not like you are a little boy who needs to be told he is good. (The only exception is after a good f****** session where she should thank you for a great time).
 

Desdinova

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You sound like my ex-wife. "I vacuumed the carpet today. How come you don't notice when I clean up???"

The correct answer is "It needs to be done. Vacuum it because it's dirty, not because you need praise from me."

Never tells me I look good

Never tells me I am a great dad

I do a podcast and never once said good job.
You should be doing all that 5hit for your own satisfaction. Your kid will give you feedback if you're a great dad. Your listeners will give you feedback if they like your podcasts. Use all of that to gauge what kind of a job your doing. As for looking good, you should do that because a well-kempt man is a quality man.
 

Outlaw_

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Hey guys, this is one of the Five Love Languages. It's a book...you should all check it out. The love language that it is, is "Words of Affirmation". This is how we feel loved by our significant other. If you don't get it, then you simply don't feel like they love you.

Some of you can call it LSE, and I'm sure that has something to do with it. But it's bigger than simply LSE.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MOTU

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I for one appreciate being complimented and hearing when I do a good job. I also appreciate expressions of gratitude when I do something nice or helpful. I think it's just common courtesy and conveys respect.

That being said, Chris Rock says:
http://youtu.be/LaPHPQt91w8
 

zekko

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Old Player said:
Never ever compliments me on anything

Is this normal?
Never, ever? No, I don't think that's normal. She should at least tell you smell nice once in awhile or something.

How often does your wife compliment you?
I think the correct answer to this is "About twice as much as I compliment her". Or something like that.
 

KarmaSutra

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Your problem is confusion between commendation and supplication. They're not interchangeable.

My wife and I compliment and thank each other multiple times daily. Not because we have the expectation of it, but because we appreciate what we do for each other. If your goal is incessant clamoring for your wife's un-ending attention; you won't find it by begging her for her graces.

Do something because you take pride in it. "You swept the floor and mopped it too!", "Oh joy!" Big fvckin' deal. You should want to keep floors clean, and your area tidy and uniform. This is a portrayal of your character.

Live as such.
 

Colossus

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My girlfriend compliments me daily. Looks, advice, attributes, etc.

And I thank her multiple times daily for all the help she gives me. Laundry, cleaning, errands, everything.

I used to date a girl who almost never had anything positive to say about me. After a while I started to wonder why the fvck she was with me, and more importantly why the fvck was I with her.
 

The Duke

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My ltr compliments me, but not often. She is pretty insecure and I think this has something to do with it. Its not a big deal to me. I know I'm all that and she does too!!! ;-)

Props to the poster that mentioned the 5 love languages. If compliments are what makes you thrive in a relationship, then certainly find a girl that meets your standards in that area.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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jc_80

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Most compliments from women have an ulterior motive, you're not really missing out. Date an ego-boosting HPD or BPD then come crying to me about compliments haha...pride certainly came before the fall there.
I've found this to be true depending on the compliment. My wife would give me genuine compliments about who I was, what I was doing, my accomplishments, my goals, how I thought...
My last ex always said I was amazing, sexy, and repeatedly said she missed me. After a while it got old as there was no substance to it. I would ask what's so amazing about me. She would say, " well, you're patient with me, you listen to me, I see a future with you, there's always something to talk about". I started realizing she didn't really get to know me and didn't ask questions to learn about me.
Just said things to flatter me and give me hope while she figured out what she really wanted.
OP isn't wanting a self esteem boost. He wants to know his dedication and efforts are appreciated. That's what I like to know in a relationship. Don't say I'm amazing if you can't back it up with some substantive analysis of who I am and what I do.
 

Greasy Pig

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My GF flat out refuses to compliment me. Like it would cause her eyes to bleed if she ever said anything that might make me happy.
And she's not the first GF to act that way. I don't seek validation or affirmation from her but it would be nice if she did it at least occasionally.
Saying that, I don't think I'll be keeping her around much longer.
 

exhausted

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No compliments are a red flag. Compliments convey love and appreciation. If not then she talks to you the same as a guy friend, compliments, touching, affection and appreciation are what makes a relationship a relationship.

I do see and realize that girls compliment men less than we do them..It is just the way they are built with insecurity and being competitive.

Though she should be giving them consistently from time to time.

I dont expect to be praised, ever, but i do expect to be appreciated and that can be conveyed not just through words but actions.

If i dont feel appreciated then i bail.
 
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