"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How often does a good one come around

Neon Owl

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Been realising lately that although I have plates none of them are actually really my 'type' if you know what i mean. They're hot enough to fvck and spend time with but I'm mostly talking about personality type but looks come into it too.
I love women who are very feminine in the way they talk and act but aren't afraid to get dirty. Bit of cheekiness/playfulness and petite figure a few inches smaller than me. None of my current plates fit this description atm.

How often does a girl come along that really does it for you (the way she acts carries herself and also looks/body wise)? Would you say it's 1 in 5,10,20 plates?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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expos

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Neon Owl said:
Been realising lately that although I have plates none of them are actually really my 'type' if you know what i mean. They're hot enough to fvck and spend time with but I'm mostly talking about personality type but looks come into it too.
I love women who are very feminine in the way they talk and act but aren't afraid to get dirty. Bit of cheekiness/playfulness and petite figure a few inches smaller than me. None of my current plates fit this description atm.

How often does a girl come along that really does it for you (the way she acts carries herself and also looks/body wise)? Would you say it's 1 in 5,10,20 plates?
I've been wondering this myself. I honestly think it's 1 every 3 years to be honest. There are just a lot of people I can't really get that excited for, sadly. I like having a lot of options but it really takes awhile before I get completely enamored with someone....
 

Zerro

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Same as expos, about every 1 to 3 years one comes around who I'd actually want to keep around.
 

ItsAllAboutMe

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I got the same problem I have never been without a girl to be sexual with for years, but I have no interest in any of them for anything more I guess.

I don't know if its a good thing or bad thing...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GotED?

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The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
I think you must KNOW YOURSELF deeply first before you know what you are looking for in a woman.

What I mean is, what are some of the most important qualities about you and those are the same things you need in a woman in order to feel passion, compatibility, and go the distance in time.

Though the fleeting variable is 'CHEMISTRY' - this is something that ultimately needs to happen naturally and we have little control over that.

For me, I am a very spiritual person (non-religious). This is very important part of my life, and I can not imagine being with a woman who doesn't understand that part of me and share it with me. Being with just ANY woman would be like putting the left shoes on and not having the right shoes on at all. How can you walk like that?? That's incompatibility.

The problem with people overall (men and women) is that we go through life never introspectively look deep inside ourselves and figure out what we NEED. We know what we WANT (yeah, that HB8+ without kids!). But that's not necessarily what is going to go the distance in time.

Lastly, learn and be aware of getting into relationships with women out of CONVENIENCE. This is when you happen to meet a woman that gets your attention (though she is probably ONLY physically attractive and nothing else) at a place that you frequent or by convenience. Places such as work, neighborhood, friends' friends. You have not selectively chose to qualify the woman, you just got interested because she is THERE and that's convenience.

Try to actively be SELECTIVE about your next partner. Do activities that you are interested in where you can meet like people (Meetup.com).

I have had a gf now for 8 months and it has been going strong because we are spiritually compatible and the chemistry is also quite strong. All this serves an importance to ME (maybe not for you) and help make it past the 3-6 months marker where most relationships fizzle out.


Good luck.

Exodus
 

pdx1138

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Zerro said:
Same as expos, about every 1 to 3 years one comes around who I'd actually want to keep around.
Same here as well.

Last "keeper" was just over a year ago.

Dated 5 others since then. 1 of them was a keeper that got away. (another guy got her first)

Currently working on a new "keeper."
 

Purefilth

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Im picky enough to need "Something" there to make one a plate.
Its not just about racking up numbers anymore - its finding ones that seem to be worth a little time.
 

captain A

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Very very far between. My standards for "keepers" might be a little bit too stringent but out of all the girls I've slept with/dated in the last ten years only 2 of them were women I could have seen myself staying with.

They don't come along too often but they make you level up in a HUGE way when they do.
 

vatoloco

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"They come along like the great fighters: once every ten years..."
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DragonBlood

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Well, I can only think of one 'keeper' looking back, and even then I had much less experience so I now have serious doubts.


Hindsight is 20/20. Im pretty sure keepitis and oneitis are close cousins.
 

rhythmic

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Neon Owl said:
How often does a girl come along that really does it for you (the way she acts carries herself and also looks/body wise)? Would you say it's 1 in 5,10,20 plates?
5, 10 or 20 plates is EXTREMELY optimistic, but then you're looking for an answer to a question with untold variables;

1. How desperate is the guy? A desperate man will see everyone as a keeper.
2. How attractive is the guy? A more attractive guy will have more success, ergo probably more keepers. Plain numbers.
3. Probability, and this one's the real b****. Any girl you pass on the street could potentially be an absolute diamond, but you'll likely never know.

If I had to give an answer, I'd say that how often a great woman comes along doesn't matter - it's how you react when that happens that will determine your happiness.

Could happen never, could happen hundreds of times.

1. Create opportunities
2. Take opportunities

And that's all you can do buddy!
 

Neon Owl

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Damn this wasn't the answer I was hoping for...guess there's nothing else to do but keep plugging away at it eh.

In the meantime I'll just use these girls as practice for when a keeper comes along.
 

zinc4

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For me about once every 3 years and lately i have been keeping at least 3 reliable plates who are pretty much DTF anytime i call.....i am just picky when it comes to LTR material and they have to look extremely good to even be considered in the first place........then they have to have a big heart...love intimacy..love animals...be very feminime acting....not catty acting toward other women...open minded....just a kind and gentle person in general..it's a pretty stringent list but i know what i am looking for and can spot the right type a mile away...

but for me it seems lie once every 3 years or so that kind of girl comes around that i click with.....met my on and off again GF right under 3 years ago and just met a new chick who fits my criteria for LTR material....so the standard has held true for me the past decade or so...most girls i meet immediately get downgraded to plate status..
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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