"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How often do you see your girl friend/interest?

For_F

Don Juan
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Girl that has high IL in me wants me to be around all the time but I have learnt from my past and this site. In my latest relationship my x was similar - wanted nothing more than to be with me and I obliged, was with her 24/7 until we ultimately became sick of each other and many of each other's traits became unbearable.

Anyway, I am very interested in this girl and see her as a relationship in the near future but I do not want to change my lifestyle dramatically to see her daily and I know this destroys relationships eventually.

How many days per week would you say is standard to see a girl you have high IL for? Im thinking once a week over night stays and maybe once a week day meet up.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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zenaddict

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there is no standard for relationships, if it was, than I am sure the govt would have already made some laws on how many times you can meet a woman before you want to fvck her

since there is no such thing you have to figure it out for yourself and the only way to do so is by not looking for her so you`ll see how much time she can be without you, if she calls you back 3-4 days later after no contact, than it`s safe to assume that 3-4 days is her limit, which means you should meet every 3-4 days, if it`s 5 days, than it means 5 days is her limit
 

zinc4

Master Don Juan
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For_F said:
Girl that has high IL in me wants me to be around all the time but I have learnt from my past and this site. In my latest relationship my x was similar - wanted nothing more than to be with me and I obliged, was with her 24/7 until we ultimately became sick of each other and many of each other's traits became unbearable.

Anyway, I am very interested in this girl and see her as a relationship in the near future but I do not want to change my lifestyle dramatically to see her daily and I know this destroys relationships eventually.

How many days per week would you say is standard to see a girl you have high IL for? Im thinking once a week over night stays and maybe once a week day meet up.

I just usually spend one or 2 days with her on the weekends....anything more gets old fast IMO after the intial honeymoon phase.
 

rhythmic

Senior Don Juan
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Just under once a week, so every 10 days ish is plenty for me.
 

Plutoman

Senior Don Juan
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2-3 times a week. Still in honeymoon phase though, but it's reasonable enough. Two evenings usually and one lunch. Whether we get all 3 depends on our schedules. We'll put ourselves high on the priority list, but not the only people on our lists.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
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Generally weekdays I am busy and just don't have enough time/intention to hang out. But i'll spend all weekend with my girl no problem.
 

Fatal Jay

Master Don Juan
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Friday and Saturdays. The Rest of the week belongs to you and only you.
 

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
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Great question - you can read my full answer to it by going here.

In short, though: if you just started dating, stick to seeing her only once a week. The less she sees of you in the beginning the better...
 

bigneil

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Ideal for long term but non committed romance is once a week, skipping a week every month or so. Even once every 3 weeks can work as it's the peak of missing someone.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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