EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
As in topic how much time in advance you usually set up a date. Is it same day or e.g. three days earlier?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How much time in advance do you set up a date
- Thread starter EmotionalGeek
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Who Dares Win
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As late as possible, best thing would be meet her in the morning and set the date for the evening but even then I wouldnt be 100% sure.
EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
Did you mean date set-up from cold approach? What about second or fifth date?
Who Dares Win
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No mate, I mean set-up with a girl I know already, cold approaches are done only to finalize right after.
I dont know how it works where you are but here there is a bigger chance of leaving your car parked the whole day with no ticket without being fined than setting up a date on friday for saturday and have things to go smooth.
Regarding following dates a higher tolerance is given of course but it all depends from what she invested in me, hell nowadays even girls who sucked my d1ck on date 2 happen to flake on date 3.
This is a real life example, blown my load on her face on date 2 and then she cancelled date 3 15 min in advance then I find her out at a bar in a multiple date with her two friends and 3 guys.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Serenity
Moderator
I don't like having a specific time for this type of thing, it doesn't matter that much. It's typically at least a couple of days in advance, but after that it's gonna be the first day I have the time. Another factor is whether she has the time, it doesn't need to be rigid. If I can't get a date within 2 weeks from the time I ask she's deemed too unavailable, I wouldn't want to see a woman that rarely.
Wouldn't plan the first few dates on a Friday or Saturday as @yuppaz mentions. They probably already have other plans on those days, so should you.
Wouldn't plan the first few dates on a Friday or Saturday as @yuppaz mentions. They probably already have other plans on those days, so should you.
Glassguy
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I agree with Howie.
3-4 days. Strike while the iron is hot. I own a business and I dont schedule customers further out than a week. Its amazing how grown adults cant remember past a few days or change their mind about turning over the money for my services, let alone some random chick I want to meet up with on that same time frame who you can be sure is hitting up other guys too.
Get her out and separate yourself from the others in a short amount of time.
3-4 days. Strike while the iron is hot. I own a business and I dont schedule customers further out than a week. Its amazing how grown adults cant remember past a few days or change their mind about turning over the money for my services, let alone some random chick I want to meet up with on that same time frame who you can be sure is hitting up other guys too.
Get her out and separate yourself from the others in a short amount of time.
Roober
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Agreed with the 3-4 days out. The silence leading up to the date builds anticipation. I make zero contact unless they reach out. If you did this a week or more in advance, that just seems a bit awkward. If I know I am busy for the week, I will just make small idle chat every couple days till I get to that 3-4 day mark.
If they can't confirm, don't set aside your time for them! Can't stress this enough! You are busy man, and your free time is valuable!
If they can't confirm, don't set aside your time for them! Can't stress this enough! You are busy man, and your free time is valuable!
EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
This way you can meet her at most one time a week because If you have your date on day 1 (just to enumerate days) then wait 3 days till day 4 to set up next date and date will be 3 days from setup point then date will be on day 7. This is quite seldom and it would not work if I want to meet girl twice a week.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Glassguy
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If YOU want to meet her twice in a week, that's exactly what you should do. I dont like rules, I like doing what I want to do. If that means seeing her once a week, seeing her 3 times in a week, not seeing her at all for 2 weeks.....I do what I want. That is the key to it.
EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
Yeah but if time between informing her about date and actual date is 3 days then you have to inform her on the next day after last date. I'm afraid that kills tension. If on other hand I prolong time between last date and informing her then I have to schedule date for same or next day. It gives a little time and may cause her not accepting because she have plans already.
daddymonsterpoodle
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No rules. Sooner the better. If you set up the date in the morning to see them in the evening then their hamster has been spinning all day anyway. How much more anticipation do you need?
When do YOU want to go on the date? When can she make it?
If the interest is there she will make it AND be on time.
When do YOU want to go on the date? When can she make it?
If the interest is there she will make it AND be on time.
Glassguy
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Do what you want. Your posts are making my head hurt as I try to calendar together your dates.
Stop overthinking. If you were doing what YOU want to do, there would be much less thinking involved.
Roober
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Correct. I don't have rules, but I don't really have a lot of time to see women more than once a week. If you are spinning several plates, then you won't really have more than once a week to spend time with her. I have kids, so logisitcally, I can really only squeeze in two dates a week, maybe 3 sometimes. I would much rather see 3 women in one week than one...
Think about this, you see her more than once a week, you...
-limit your options
-set a precedent from the beginning that you have plenty of time for her
There is plenty of time to see her more after a month or two...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
EyeBRollin
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I make the date within a week, depending on my schedule. It's up to a week if I know I'm out of town on business or am juggling 5-7 other dates in a short time frame.
This isn't a hard rule, as I just booked a chick for 10 days out. Why so far? She specifically hit me up and asked to see me and she's not on my good side at the moment. The onus is on her to make it up to me. She can wait.
As for frequency, I never see any chick on a date more than once per week. If she wants more, she has to ask to be the girlfriend. I'm always hustling 3-5 chicks, so that's more than enough for me to handle.
This isn't a hard rule, as I just booked a chick for 10 days out. Why so far? She specifically hit me up and asked to see me and she's not on my good side at the moment. The onus is on her to make it up to me. She can wait.
As for frequency, I never see any chick on a date more than once per week. If she wants more, she has to ask to be the girlfriend. I'm always hustling 3-5 chicks, so that's more than enough for me to handle.