How much time before making a move on her?

[uly55]

Hi guys,
My question is.... How long should I wait before making a move on a women to date her if she has just recently broken up (1 week) from her boyfirend?

Ok I recently started going to dancing lessons....to meet women and learn to dance. That was the best decision this novice Dj could have ever made. I have met so many women this way it's crazy. Women love men who can dance. Anyway.....I was at a dance party and a couple of hours into it, a women sat down beside me and introduced herself to me. We chated for about 20mins. I mentioned I had only had 2 lessons and I couldn't dance yet. She invited me to the other of the dance schools classes in which she is the assistant instructor. I said I would see her next week then.She went off to do her demo. I did try to intro her to my friends at our table, she said the usual greetings, but didn't seem to be interested in them. Which I thought was a good thing.

I find out from my dance instructor (I didn't ask about her) that she was having boyfriend troubles that night and he wouldn't come to watch her demo. Next dance class we dance with each other and chat. The next week she dosesn't come to dance classes. This week she is there, we danced and we had a good chat for about 30mins. She tells me and makes it quiet clear that she has broken up from her BF. She says he is still a big part of her life. I gather it's been a longterm relationship and probably been friends before that. He's been a big influence on her life. we have lots in common. I was able to hold a good conversation and she wasn't interested in leaving the coversation even when she was interupted by friends and the instructor.

Also she is the hottest chick that has ever had any interest in me. I admit that i'm a little intimadated by this. I remind myself she is just another women! I now want to take charge and be the Dj that is hiding within me. My persona, the way I dress and talk is becoming suave and dj like. This has been mentioned at dance classes by other women, so I don't want to make an idiot of my self, by not knowing the signals and when to move in on her.we have been having fun, i've been using ****y & funny when i can, like when she makes a mistake while dancing with her i'll slap her on the wrist telling her she is a naughty girl for forgetting the moves ect.

I have a mate that went to dance classes and met a women. He along with everyone else there thought they would start dating. It looked like a sure thing! when he asked her out she turned him down. So it's impossible to read a women.

Any advice would be great, but I need to know the rules.....when it comes to her breakup and how long I should wait to ask her out?

Thanks,

Uly

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

It depends alot on the girl, her previous relationship and how it ended etc.... Some girls will have no problem starting dating right of the bat but some girls (read: ALOT OF THEM) will carry a b1tchload of emotional baggage with them that can fvck it up for you badly.

 

[JJMcLure]

Make a move now.

She just broke up, so she will be looking for a new guy. Chicks don't stay single for long.

Afraid of being the rebound guy? That's a chance you have to take - she is there for you for the taking now, not in X months. Plus you don't know her well enough to be considering LTR. At least you may get some action - if you delay chances are you get nothing.

Plus if you wait around you run the risk of oneitis, infatuation and the friend zone. Chicks like men who see what they want and go after it.

Remember the old saying, hesitation leads to masturbation.

 

[uly55]

Kineti[C]harm......I wonder about her emotional bagage. I mentioned a little about positve thinking. She said something along the lines of "Do you think that will help me stop making bad decisions and fa*king up my life!" I then changed the subject.

Also It seems i'm very similar to her x-boyfriend in many ways. That freaked me alittle. I don't want to get into the same emotional patterns she was having with him.

JJMcLure.... yeah don't want to be the rebound guy, but I do have to take that chance. who knows what may come from it. I don't want to establish a rep of being a wuss at dance class, my pool of potential women will die off real quick if that's spread around.

Plus you don't know her well enough to be considering LTR.

Yep true didn't think of it that way.

Anyone actualy been in a situation like this?

Uly

 

[SDBmania]

Sounds like my situation

I'm going through something simular. I asked a girl out from class a few weeks ago and got her number. I called her a few days later and left a message, she never called me back. Then when I saw her in class again she said she need to talk to me and felt it better to talk in person than over the phone. It turns out that she said(i'm paraphrasing)"I'm going through a difficult sittuation right now, in fact I'm going to talk to him about it tonight." At this point, she was sort of breaking down, getting emotional. When I said that I understood, she replied by saying,"I knew you would understand." With a smile, I might add. This is confusing has hell, and so I'm not sure if she has broken up with him or what. I have been sort of holding off, give her time. But, honestly, I'm having difficulty making more effort. I find myself hesitant to call her back. I would be more comfortable talking to her in person first, but I haven't gotten the chance to talk to her one-on-one. You know, I thought she like me, but now I'm not sure. I want to find out what her situation is, but it doesn't seem like discussing it on the phone is the best way.

It's difficult, because you do run the risk of ending in the "lets just be friends zone," but you have to risk it. I know I should probably call her to chat, but well I don't know. Seems kind of silly, I can talk to her in person easily and I have no trouble talking to other girls on the phone. I think I got Oneitis bad though, that might be the problem.

I'd say, make a move. Ask her to have lunch sometime. Don't make it obvious whether it's a date or hang out.

 

[uly55]

*update*

Ok so last wednesday nite at dancing class I was ready to ask her out. I'd been preparing all day, doing visualizations of what I wanted to happen, Getting into the right frame of mind, going over what is taught on the Dj site ect. I was confident I could do this. Got to dance class when I wussed out. She was wearing the sexiest, short black dress and it threw me. I wasn't expecting her to wear something like that to dance class. She normally dresses good, but not like that!! I lost it and couldn't even go near her for 20 mins. I then regained myself when the class started. I then decided I was not being a man or Dj by being thrown by how hot she looked. We danced a bit in class and I even teased her about the last week when she danced with me and forgot her moves (remembering she is assistant instructor). I almost got the feeling she was thinking......I look this hot and he's teasing me! I then danced with her during the 30mins free dancing we get during the class. After we finnished I moved off the dance floor and she followed me and we ended up having a 20 min convo. She didn't want to leave the convo we were having, which is good cause I can now hold a convo with a hot woman and she was interested. I did ask her out tho. She told me that she was working all weekend, and about her car being in the workshop. So asking her out wouldn't had worked out anyway.

The next week I didn't go to dance class cause I was sick. she was asking about me to my friend. She said (humourously) being sick was no excuse not to come to dance class and I needed a note (for being sick and away) for her the next time I see her!!

Ok so there is some interest level from her.She didn't put that dress on by accident, she seemed to like our convo, and she asked about me to a friend. I've decided that I want to take it a bit slower with this one. I will date other woman if it happens, but I think i need to take it a little slower with her.

I now want to make her really want me. I need to create attraction in her so that she needs to have me at any cost!

I'm using ****y &funny (as best I can), teasing her, trying not to act needy and hanging around her at class all the time, leading her and being a man, not putting her on a pedistal (slowly getting there). What can I do to really make her want me? Any ideas?

I think i'm doing ok for a novice Dj, I want to turn it up a notch. I only see her at Dancing class too, so i'm limited to dance class situations.

Uly

 

[pimpdog420]

WHAT!!

You mean to tell me that she is in a dance class of yours and she has danced with you and you have not gone for the kiss close!!! WHAT KIND OF AFC ARE YOU????

 

[tactic]

depends depends depends

do it when you think its the right time, you can never figure it out unless her friends tell you

 

[tactic]

Re: WHAT!!

Originally posted by pimpdog420
You mean to tell me that she is in a dance class of yours and she has danced with you and you have not gone for the kiss close!!! WHAT KIND OF AFC ARE YOU????

WHO THE **** WOULD. How the hell or who the hell in the god damn world would kiss close a girl during a dance in a dance class? They're not even close to being kinos and ****!

 

[squirrels]

I was gonna write a response to this, but I think this belongs in tips, so I'll link to it.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51027

 

[Crank_It_Up]

dance classes.... ah yes, I remember those, what a scam, here's how it works. They offer you a cheap or free dance lesson. You take it and have fun, and actually learn a thing or two. They play off the bond you make with your dance instructor. After a free lesson or two, they will set up a meeting or "review". You will be told that you have good rhythm and balance, timing, etc. and could easily become a great dancer. They want to teach you more, all you have to do is sign the contract. For a mere thousand or 2 thousand dollars, you are on your way.

I worked at a place like this for about 2 months, but quit because I felt like I was helping them rip off the poor low self esteem women that flowed in the door like water.

Dancing is a good thing and yes you should learn how to do it well, but be wary of dance lessons.

Now as to your assistant instructor, I can't say if her interest is genuine, or merely part of the charade. Only one way to find out, go for it. Good luck, and if for some reason it doesn't work, move on. So many women, so little time.

 

[uly55]

squirrels - yep this is what im talking about! I have only met her at dancing like 6 times, so I wasn't her friend before that, and I don't intend to become her friend. Our first meeting was at a dance party and she introduced herself to me!That was the night she was having trouble with her boyfriend. A week later she dumped him!

This is why I need to step it up a notch, so I don't become a friend.

So I want to know what i can do to make her want me.

Thanks for the link mate

Crank_It_Up........sorry to hear your story. I know this sort of thing goes on. I'm lucky.....I do "Modern Jive".Cost is 10 bucks a lesson, no contracts and it's based all on having fun. The assistant said she had a bad experience with ballroom and salsa which cost her 100 bucks a lesson.This is why she swiched to Modern Jive. yeah if things don't work out.....she'll make a good dance partner and thats about it

I was out today doing a dance demo for our club at a shopping center. I was dancing and chating to hot chicks that were walking thru the shopping center. all this wouldn't have happend 3 months ago. For me dancing is a big confidence builder.Women love men that can dance!!

Uly

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by uly55
...Women love men that can dance!!

Uly

that is very true, but lots of guys don't wanna hear that cause they can't dance very well, and don't think they can learn. Newsflash, nobody is born knowing how to dance, it takes a little practice.

 

[uly55]

Ok I just found Señor Fingers - weapons of mass seduction in the tips section. This is exactly what I have been looking for.... this stuff is GOLD.

Guys take Crank_It_Up's advice and practice or take classes in dancing!!!

I was possible the worst dancer around 3 months ago. I resembled a spitting image of MR bean dancing That's all changed now. Every guy I talked to a dancing class tell me "Women love men that can dance". My Dance instructer found his new woman at his classes and she is incredable hot. He is 45ish and not good looking. I have heaps more confidence and I learning how to lead. This spills over to everything in my life not just women.

Uly