How much far do you go while teasing or poking fun at a girl? And is qualifying her while asking for her number needy?

[Lostsoul19]

I tend to overdo it. Sometimes even go as far as roasting her and that turns off some of them. I get carried away and I don't know what to do about it. What should I remember while giving **** to her so that it doesn't go overboard?
And while asking for her number, if you say that she's cool and funny and that you like to poke fun at her and would like to hang out, does it come off as needy or something along those lines?

 

[3agle 3yes]

Don't overthink this.

I sometimes overdo it myself with teasing etc, and I tell myself at least I'm not being too nice, as my inclination is to be nice to people.

It's a matter of reading the situation. If you realise in the moment that you’re making fun of her too much, then tone it down. Every situation is different.

Overthinking definitely applies to your second question. The scenario you described is perfectly fine.

“Hanging out sometime” is low commitment, which is always my philosophy.

If you asked her out on a “date”, or gave off anything resembling that vibe, then I would say it can come off as needy (and also put unnecessary pressure on her).

 

[Bingo-Player]

I prefer to flirt rather than poke fun ......women love flirting (even when they are married)

If the opportunity arises to banter her or she is particularly playful then i will of course engage

But generally i wouldn't directly roast her as i don't think todays women egos can cope well with it ( unless you are extremely high value)

As for getting the number try to lead her into a conversation where she offers it.

 

[Lostsoul19]

Don't overthink this.

I sometimes overdo it myself with teasing etc, and I tell myself at least I'm not being too nice, as my inclination is to be nice to people.

It's a matter of reading the situation. If you realise in the moment that you’re making fun of her too much, then tone it down. Every situation is different.

Overthinking definitely applies to your second question. The scenario you described is perfectly fine.

“Hanging out sometime” is low commitment, which is always my philosophy.

If you asked her out on a “date”, or gave off anything resembling that vibe, then I would say it can come off as needy (and also put unnecessary pressure on her).

I didn't ask her out on a date. I was just having a conversation with her on Instagram. And she out of the blue told me that she's leaving ig for an indefinite time because her college work requires attention. So she said "it was nice talking to you. Thanks for bearing with me." and then I just said "nice talking to you as well. And I'd like to bear with you longer. Drop your number so we can keep in touch." Then later I realized my reply wasn't good and I should have used what I wrote above. What do you think I should have done instead?
I know correcting it would be stupid now as that'll be double texting. Any suggestions?

 

[rjc149]

80% pull, 20% push. Don’t overthink those proportions in terms of how attractive the woman is. Just use that rule of thumb.

The 20% push should not be mean or insulting. It should be witty playful teasing. It should make her laugh, but also assert social dominance over her and make it clear that you are not supplicating. It’s hard to convey that social calibration in writing. This is an issue a lot of guys had with “negging.” It was uncalibrated, not playful, often simply obnoxious, and used to open an interaction ie. “Hey, your hair looks fake. So do you come here often?”

 

[3agle 3yes]

I prefer to flirt rather than poke fun ......women love flirting (even when they are married)

Flirting, teasing, roasting, banter and poking fun...all the same thing technically.

 

[3agle 3yes]

What do you think I should have done instead?
I know correcting it would be stupid now as that'll be double texting. Any suggestions?

Thinking about what you should’ve done or said, is approaching the problem from the wrong perspective.

When it comes down to it, what you say or do doesn't matter that much. It's your mindset that matters most.

Assume you're saying and doing the right things, don’t regret anything.

That way you’re congruent.

 

[Lostsoul19]

Thinking about what you should’ve done or said, is approaching the problem from the wrong perspective.

When it comes down to it, what you say or do doesn't matter that much. It's your mindset that matters most.

Assume you're saying and doing the right things, don’t regret anything.

That way you’re congruent.

I asked for it and she said no the first time. So I continued the conversation. And escalated it to some sexual stuff but nothing serious. Now, I tried to ask for her number again in a goofy way saying we can't talk about this stuff(conversation was about serial killers and pretty much around this topic) here and WhatsApp has better privacy so let's talk there. And she said no, we shouldn't talk about such stuff then which is basically no again so I completely bummed out and Said yep and closed the conversation which is not good right? Did I completely mess up? Do I still have a chance?

 

[Georgepithyou]

Test the waters and see how she reacts

 

[rjc149]

I asked for it and she said no the first time. So I continued the conversation. And escalated it to some sexual stuff but nothing serious. Now, I tried to ask for her number again in a goofy way saying we can't talk about this stuff(conversation was about serial killers and pretty much around this topic) here and WhatsApp has better privacy so let's talk there. And she said no, we shouldn't talk about such stuff then which is basically no again so I completely bummed out and Said yep and closed the conversation which is not good right? Did I completely mess up? Do I still have a chance?

She's politely declined giving you her number, twice, and pretty unambiguously expressed her wish to end the interaction. I would say this one is done. Oftentimes, you shoot your shot and miss. It's part of being a dude.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I agree with rjc149, but I think there's something you can learn here.

I asked for it and she said no the first time. So I continued the conversation. And escalated it to some sexual stuff but nothing serious. Now, I tried to ask for her number again in a goofy way saying we can't talk about this stuff(conversation was about serial killers and pretty much around this topic) here and WhatsApp has better privacy so let's talk there. And she said no, we shouldn't talk about such stuff then which is basically no again so I completely bummed out and Said yep and closed the conversation which is not good right? Did I completely mess up? Do I still have a chance?

It’s very unlikely for women to give out their number after having a conversation with someone on IG under normal circumstances.

Most guys have a regular conversation with a woman, try to make her laugh and like him and then make an excuse to get her number. Don't be one of those guys.

When I've spoken to women online and want to move the discussion to WhatsApp or even on the phone, here's what I do.

TLDR
Steal her lines, and say out loud what she might be thinking, but direct it at her instead.

Don’t talk to a woman you’ve only spoken to online about sex or any of the sort, don’t even have serious conversations.

Rip on her. Think about it, you’re talking to someone online that you haven’t seen physically (other than their “supposed” photos on IG).

I tell them it's weird to talk to a random person on Instagram, and for all I know she can be a catfish, and how ironic it was that the conversation we was having is about serial killers.

“When were these photos REALLY taken?”

Make up a hilarious story of a time you spoke to a supposed woman on IG and when you spoke to them it turned out to be a 13-year-old boy.

And then qualify her by getting her to show “live selfies” of herself and eventually talking to her on the phone.

The point is your perceiving yourself as having high standards and not replicating the regular conversations she normally has (in a good way).

If she has a problem with this, then you can move on.