How much do you share with your parents about your love life?

[GtarPlayr73]

This has been a conundrum i've had for some time. As a "mature man", how much do you let your parents know about your relationships? What do you tell them? When do you tell them? How much do you share? When do you mention that you are dating someone new? My parents are conservative and religious, but they are also not shut off to "the world" and discuss things openly. It's been standard practice to share a lot about my relationships with them, but latelly, i feel like such behavior actually stems from weakness in that i was sharing simply to get their reinforcement or validation or reassurance. They've grown used to it and kind of expect some details, but i think that as a 35 year old man, they just don't need to know that much, especially when my views on relationships and sex are more liberal than theirs. I also know that, being religious, they are chomping at the bit for me to find "the perfect girl" (their words) and get married...

How about you? How much do you share with your parents? How about your siblings?

 

[Chrispy]

If they (siblings/parents) know enough that you're dating sometimes they might go to the extreme to think you're gay or strange (being over 30-something and 'not married' as they would put it).

In short, it's not good to keep everything in the dark but enough to let them know how serious or not serious things are.

Sometimes the discussion can be more detailed, but it depends on whether you're close to them, that they are open-minded, that they give good advice in the first place, or that you want perspective from them.

 

[STR8UP]

Pretty much nothing, unless i am serious about a chick.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If it's not, "Mom, dad... I'm getting married," nothing.

 

[Latinoman]

This has been a conundrum i've had for some time. As a "mature man", how much do you let your parents know about your relationships? What do you tell them? When do you tell them? How much do you share? When do you mention that you are dating someone new? My parents are conservative and religious, but they are also not shut off to "the world" and discuss things openly. It's been standard practice to share a lot about my relationships with them, but latelly, i feel like such behavior actually stems from weakness in that i was sharing simply to get their reinforcement or validation or reassurance. They've grown used to it and kind of expect some details, but i think that as a 35 year old man, they just don't need to know that much, especially when my views on relationships and sex are more liberal than theirs. I also know that, being religious, they are chomping at the bit for me to find "the perfect girl" (their words) and get married...

How about you? How much do you share with your parents? How about your siblings?

I cannot advice you here...although, I love my dad and all...I did not tell him or anyone in my family that I was married until like 2 or some months later. And now that I'm divorced...I have not even told them either. Keeping in mind that in both instances the only way I could communicate (due to distance) was via telephone. They knew my ex-wife.

My point? Since I turned 21...everything I have done...I have done without seeking approval from my dad or other family members (other than my ex-wife and kids).

 

[Bonhomme]

Very little, mostly what is mentioned in passing when having conversations about what's going on in day-to-day life.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Usually NOTHING unless they ask...and THEN, only generalities.

 

[DJDamage]

If it's not, "Mom, dad... I'm getting married," nothing.

Your parents don't need to know every detail of your personal affairs especially women. When it comes to women I am just brief about it.

If they ask just mention you are seeing "this" girl and when they ask what happened to the "other" girl you were seeing, say she was too controlling and you had to leave. Whatever you do don't mention to your parents that you are leaving a life of a pimp and sleeping with 2-3 different women a week.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Usually nothing, or if they ask (usually Mom), "I'm dating someone but it's not serious". My parents are from the old-school happy marriage generation. I've yet to meet a woman worth introducing to them.

 

[Rudra]

I tried to discuss DJ stuff with my dad some time... Dad is definitely alpha, successful in business as well as in sports and he definately had his share of babes. Been married now to mom for 25 years and they are still happy together although mom is a very strong dominant character but dad doesn´t take shyt from her nor from anybody, never.

Complete and utter failure... I got the "Let me tell you, you have to be completely open and honest when entering a relationship" speech and the "your conception of women makes me worried" talk, was called manipulative and misguided..

Typica text book example of a natural who never analyzed his own ways and when confronted with them does not only not recognize them, but criticises them harshly...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Typica text book example of a natural who never analyzed his own ways and when confronted with them does not only not recognize them, but criticises them harshly...

You think so? Are the women you typically game similar to your mom? Did they grow up in the same era as your mom? You're trying to convince a man who grew up in a different era of women that your way is better. You're comparing apples to oranges.

 

[Rudra]

You think so? Are the women you typically game similar to your mom? Did they grow up in the same era as your mom? You're trying to convince a man who grew up in a different era of women that your way is better. You're comparing apples to oranges.

Yes, they actually are... that I noticed a long time ago already. They of course did not grow up in the same era))
Do you really thing that the basic rules of the game have changed over the last 30 years?? I don´t... I think the basics even 200 years ago were the same. And it never was good advice to be "all open and honest" in the beginning of a relationship or dish out your emotions right from the start...

 

[speakeasy]

Very little, mostly what is mentioned in passing when having conversations about what's going on in day-to-day life.

Same here.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Do you really thing that the basic rules of the game have changed over the last 30 years?? I don´t...

So women haven't changed over that time frame?

 

[joekerr31]

I tried to discuss DJ stuff with my dad some time... Dad is definitely alpha...Typica text book example of a natural who never analyzed his own ways and when confronted with them does not only not recognize them, but criticises them harshly...

oh man now THIS is hilarious.

your dad is giving you advice that he won't get in trouble for if it gets back to your mom. hahahaha.

he's not going to come out and tell you that when he first met your mom he had to crush her sh*t tests and keep her IL high using DJ techniques.

bloody hilarious.

 

[joekerr31]

ill tell my mom about various chics (dad's not in the picture).

its hilarious. i'll spout some DJ perspective about human behavior and she'll be disappointed in me that i think that way.

then in the next sentence she'll tell me about one of her friends who is having a hard time and how she needs to find a good man with money so that her life would be easier and she would stop having to worry about ends meat.

hahaha.

my mom is not a gold digger and is actually an idealist / romantic, BUT, its bred in to women - a MAN's #1 value is his ability to SAVE a woman from herself / situation. whether that be loneliness, poverty, etc.

women don't think anything of thinking like this, even good women. they simply lack the ability to appreciate the value a man brings to them - even though THEY are being saved they somehow view it as its the man who is the one who is lucky to have them.

oh well, its just the way the world turns.

but beyond superficial conversations like the above, i don't share the details of my relationships.

 

[STR8UP]

women don't think anything of thinking like this, even good women. they simply lack the ability to appreciate the value a man brings to them - even though THEY are being saved they somehow view it as its the man who is the one who is lucky to have them.

Ain't that some sh!t?

 

[CanuckinSK]

You're not alone GtarPlayr. I discuss this topic with my mom quite a bit (my dad was NEVER in the picture, and passed away quite a while ago).

She tries to provide good advice, but I think it's difficult to relate to some of the relationship problems of today's generation, especially when you're a long-time AFC like me.

 

[penkitten]

i think they are only supposed to be told if they are expecting grandchildren and the due date.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't want me to call her and say "mom, I knocked off this woman last night.. god DAMN she gives good head!!"...

Go through the titles of some of the threads in the forum and imagine asking either of your parents these things. The first one that comes to my mind is "How do I make my GF want to do anal?"