How much attention to give in LTRs?

[tail_spinner]

Hi mature DJs. For LTRs, how much attention should you give your GF?

We all know that:

Too much attention = you become boring fast and get dumped
Too little attention = GF seeks for attention elsewhere and eventually cheats on you

So, what is the right amount of attention to give to your GF to prevent getting dumped and to prevent her from cheating on you?

Also, do you guys talk to your GF every night on the phone if she asks for it in your LTRs?

tail_spinner

 

[Desdinova]

If you're in a LTR, you can give her about as much attention as you want to. After all, the two of you are exclusive.

If you're not living with her, then see her a few times a week. However, keep phone convos to a minimum. Leave convos for your dates to keep things interesting.

 

[The Rake]

Your aim = keep her Interest Level in you higher than your Interest Level in her and she won't ditch you for another man. If she's head over heels fallen for you, she won't cheat on you.

Assess your LTR by watching out for red flags such as:

- Is she clingy?
- Is she needy?
- Is she flexible or rigid?
- Is she a giver or a taker?
- Does she have habitual moodiness?
- Is she mean spirited?
- Does she pick fights with you?
- Is she a nag or a nitpicker?
- Is she totally into you?
- Is the sex superb or ho-hum?

All women like attention. Those that crave attention all the time, you have to watch out for. Give them a reasonable amount of attention (use your gut feeling) and if they don't like it, they're needy and clingy and no amount of physical beauty can compensate for two of the worst traits a female can have.

Remember: You date her looks, you marry her attitude.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys, it doesn't matter how much time you spend. What matters is what you do during whatever time you spend together. If you plan quality, you don't need to see her nearly as often.

 

[DionysiusAreopagita]

Words of Advice About Phone Calls

My strategy would be to space the calls 2-3 days apart. While I think one should be consistent about the time of day (e.g. always call between 9 and 10pm), I would try not to be too predictable about the day. If you allow yourself to fall into a predictable routine, your girlfriend might think something is wrong if you happen not to call- or even worse, you get yourself into the habit of having to justify why you didn't call. But on the other hand, if you do schedule a particular day and time for a phone conversation, make sure you don't flake.

The duration of the phone call should be long enough to indicate that you appreciate her company, but shouldn't be needlessly long-winded- that would indicate boredom or clinginess. Try to keep phone conversations to less than an hour. The human attention span is limited, and there is not much point in having a conversation if you can't remain focused on it. You may want to address issues that came up since the last time you spoke, but deep or important discussions should be reserved for personal meetings. Relationship issues should always be discussed in person, since it's difficult to convey the all-important non-verbal aspects of communication over the phone.