How many people have healthy relationships?

AttackFormation

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What it says on the tin. How many relationships form simply out of pathology, desperation, and low self esteem between stupid, spiteful or damaged people? Do any people actually like and respect each other, themselves, and have a healthy relationship? Can you tell from the outside?
 

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Black Widow Void

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That's a very interesting question.

Women are wired differently and therefor, holding them to the same bar as men is counter-productive. The fact that we lower the bar of expectation with women seems to indicate that, to some degree, we all have (or have had) unhealthy relationships. There's also dopamine spikes that can cloud our judgment as well.

As to desperation, low self-esteem, spiteful etc...? When I was much younger, I had a few of those moments. Any adult male with some degree of bachelorhood would be lying if they claimed that had not.
 

zekko

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I don't think posters here are really interested in the answer to that question. Most here seem to want to paint everyone who is in a relationship as being trapped, unhappy, or cucked. Probably so that that they can feel better about their own decision to avoid LTRs. Just like how they dismiss any research about single men dying younger, and being less healthy and happy, because it doesn't fit "the agenda".

Put relationships aside and ask this: How many people do you think are living happy, healthy lives? Because if the answer to that is a minority, certainly the minority of relationships are going to be happy and healthy.

I would say myself, @Desdinova. and @Atom Smasher have healthy relationship, off the top of my head. I'm sure there are more.
 

lamath

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From what i see around me not many.

Id say 15% most men seems to slowly drown from pressure and unrealistic expectation of their wife/gf
 

Desdinova

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I would say myself, @Desdinova. and @Atom Smasher have healthy relationship, off the top of my head.
I busted my hand last week by falling off the roof of a shed I was working on. My GF slept on the floor beside me sleeping on the couch on my first night home from surgery, she delivers my pain meds, helps me bathe, and has been a non-stop support for me since taking me to the hospital. There isn't enough random lays from hot & horny party bytches to replace that.
 
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Barrister

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I think there is heavy pressure to pair off that makes two people end up together that really shouldn't be. Someone will pair off with the first person they are attracted to due to physical characteristics (for the man) or ability to provide (for the woman) when in fact they have little to nothing actually in common that is needed for a (healthy) sustained LTR. A lot of people end up staying together in a bad relationship because it is easier to do that than split for a variety of reasons.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I busted my hand last week by falling off the roof of a shed I was working on. My GF slept on the floor beside me sleeping on the couch on my first night home from surgery, she delivers my pain meds, helps me bathe, and has been a non-stop support for me since taking me to the hospital. There isn't enough random lays from hot & horny party bytches to replace that.
You got it good.
 

Alvafe

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I ask, define a healthy relationship.

I belive that is the first you should understand, becaus I know a lot of people who are together and don't consider healthy.
 

Robert28

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My grandparents had one for 54 years. You’d be a fool to expect to find ANY woman on the dating market these days that’ll stick with a man for 54 years. My grandparents went through a lot, they started out poor as dirt and died millionaires, moved all over the country, had some hardships but never separated or “took a break” or any of that ****. Everyone wants a perfect relationship 100% of the time these days and if it isn’t always sunshine and roses every single day then they run down to the divorce lawyer.
 

Black Widow Void

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How many relationships form simply out of pathology, desperation, and low self esteem between stupid, spiteful or damaged people?
I think that there are several variables here. Most of us have probably rebounded at least once. This would be considered unhealthy. Also, if we hit a dry spell, we might lower our standards (at least for a night) . And... With age, many of us recognize our blunders and make improvements. Others will lack self-accountability, see fault only in the other and continue certain cycles.

Do any people actually like and respect each other, themselves, and have a healthy relationship?
Without respect for self, I don't see any positive outcome for a relationship. The only exception would be if the other has an unhealthy nurturing (mothering or fathering) side. If someone remains in a relationship where they do not respect the other, then it's also revealing that they too lack self-respect.

Any time I meet someone with over 20 years of marriage and counting, I always ask their 'secret.' Aside from the typical answers, the one that really seemed to resonate was having a similar sense of values.

Can you tell from the outside?
I think this would depend on how much time we were around a couple and/or how observational an outsider is. Personally, I've seen couples divorce that I wouldn't have imagined. Perhaps I was oblivious to the obvious or they hid it well.
 
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RickTheToad

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I busted my hand last week by falling off the roof of a shed I was working on. My GF slept on the floor beside me sleeping on the couch on my first night home from surgery, she delivers my pain meds, helps me bathe, and has been a non-stop support for me since taking me to the hospital. There isn't enough random lays from hot & horny party bytches to replace that.
That's a rarity dude. I've already shared my kidney stone story. My gf at the time decided to go on vacation, come back and then go on vacation again. In my mid 20's, I dislocated my arm; ironically from roof work. My fiancee' at the time couldn't care less.

You have a good lady. A 1%er. I am envous.
 

Bible_Belt

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I busted my hand last week by falling off the roof of a shed I was working on.
Did you reach to the ground and try to catch yourself? Most people do, and that is the worst idea. People think I wasted years of my life at martial arts, but I am so good at falling down without getting hurt that it was worth it just for that skill.
 

Desdinova

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Did you reach to the ground and try to catch yourself? Most people do, and that is the worst idea. People think I wasted years of my life at martial arts, but I am so good at falling down without getting hurt that it was worth it just for that skill.
No, I think it was landing on the fallen tree that helped hurl me forward. i have a huge bruise on my ass.
 

Alvafe

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Did you reach to the ground and try to catch yourself? Most people do, and that is the worst idea. People think I wasted years of my life at martial arts, but I am so good at falling down without getting hurt that it was worth it just for that skill.
meh, even with training sometimes you will get hurt not matter how
 

mrgoodstuff

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Did you reach to the ground and try to catch yourself? Most people do, and that is the worst idea. People think I wasted years of my life at martial arts, but I am so good at falling down without getting hurt that it was worth it just for that skill.
Did it teach you anything else?
 
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In2theGame

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The Woman I'm with right now, I can't complain at all. Been seeing her casually for a few years and she took care of me when I was in the hospital for a few days when she didn't have to. Other times I needed help with something because of an injury, she took a cab and came to my place to help me out and cook for me with massages. Now that we are officially together, she doesn't fight with me on anything, cooks for me, even pays for me sometimes if we go out and shows a lot of respect towards me and what I have to say. I'm pretty happy right now and I enjoy my time with the GF so for me it's going well.

Dont know if this has anything to do with it but she is Russian and comes from a strong 2 parent household where the Father is dominant.
 

mrgoodstuff

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The Woman I'm with right now, I can't complain at all. Been seeing her casually for a few years and she took care of me when I was in the hospital for a few days when she didn't have to. Other times I needed help with something because of an injury, she took a cab and came to my place to help me out and cook for me with massages. Now that we are officially together, she doesn't fight with me on anything, cooks for me, even pays for me sometimes if we go out and shows a lot of respect towards me and what I have to say. I'm pretty happy right now and I enjoy my time with the GF so for me it's going well.

Dont know if this has anything to do with it but she is Russian and come from a strong 2 parent household where the Father is dominant.
So she wants you to be the man.
 

rando5495

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Blue pill men have unrealistic clownshoes standards. My quick response would therefore be, "more than is understood".

I've had some absolutely fantastic relationships, but they weren't a happily ever after for example, and therefore, since I posted the field reports on here before in some cases going in to very great detail, I understand exactly the mindset better than most.

I suppose you'll have to define your case real well.
 
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