How Many Opportunities Have You Missed?

[b.l.g.k.]

How many opportunities have you missed to have sex with a girl? You can tell us about them if you want.

 

[Fly By Night]

Way too many. I have no idea on what the number is, but all I know is that there were way too many opportunities missed on my part.

Actually, even just last night I was at the movie theater and this cute latina was there and walked by. This was during the movie and I was in the lobby so it was just 4 people in there including me and her. I really wanted to approach her, but I got AA. :box: The fact is that my AA isn't actually being afraid of talking to the girl, but of what the other 2 people might be like if I approached her. I guess I am scared of being ridiculed if I fail. She shown absolutely no signs of recognizing me, but she was standing at the concession stand and just STOOD THERE not ordering anything. (remember, there was only me, her, and 2 staff members there) That was probably her giving me a shot to dive in. Maybe, maybe not.

Another time was the last day of summer school just a week ago and I was in my car and I saw this chick walking back to her car in the parking lot. We never met before, but I knew she was taking the same class as me (different section). I pulled right up next to her and talked to her about what she thought about the class and she seemed receptive to me and all, but then I was a little punk and didn't escalate. She was talking to me about how to sell my textbook and right there I could've asked her to hold on while I park my car so I could've gotten physical while "checking out her textbook". It sucks I didn't think of that when I was in the situation. There was no one else (at least nearby) in the parking lot, so I virtually had no AA.

Lessons Learned
-Practice approaching in social places, but I do need to isolate.
-If your mind initially wants to go for it, you probably should.
-Escalate, escalate, escalate.

 

[drak_ool]

The fact is that my AA isn't actually being afraid of talking to the girl, but of what the other 2 people might be like if I approached her. I guess I am scared of being ridiculed if I fail.

that's the second component of AA, the first one being the fear of rejection (and ridicule) from the girl. I think this one takes even longer to get over, as most humans have an innate fear of ridicule when in a social setting.

But if you push your "I don't give a fvck" mentality to the limit, soon these other people will disappear from your field of vision. It will be only you, and the target. Forget about her friends, forget about the bartender/waiter, forget about the bystanders.

This really ties in well with the title of the thread. How many opportunities have you missed because you worried about what some other guy might think of you? But then did you think how much of a loser that guy is, if he has a chance to approach the girl, doesn't, and then makes fun of you for it? It's not even worth thinking of people like this. That's like going to a club and worrying about what the wallflowers think of you. Well, they're just a bunch of losers, why would you give a shyt about what they think?

 

[bigneil]

A few times I had a girl back on my couch and didn't make a move. The girl would then dump me forever. There were other times when I wanted the girl to leave so I'd throw her down and tear her clothes off, and she'd normally get all turned on and want to stay.

That was when I realized I was treating most women the opposite of how I should.

 

[wataf]

More than I can count, I live about 2 minute walk to the busiest bar in town lined back 100's of after parties have closed many but I also have my liquor cabinet constantly stocked with about 10 bottles....And as you guys probably know you can sometimes get to a drunken state where you don't even care about closing you only care about getting more ****ed up.......or maybe im just an alcoholic

 

[perseverance]

Too many, if only had found my proverbial ballsac a lot earlier in life.

The only one I will tell you guys about is when a girl who was so into me, invited me back to her place, but instead I went home to play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. It had come out a week earlier and I hadn't played much of it and really wanted to play online with friends, so I turned her down and went home to play it.

Needless to say I don't see the girl anymore and completely missed the boat.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

This one from about 15 years back still sticks with me.

This super hot, smart, and funny bartender with a great rack somehow became interested in me. I took this as she found me "interesting", but more intellectually (I was in grad school, she was heading to law school) rather than sexually. Plus, bartenders are a tough nut to crack and she also had a boyfriend (a loser local she'd no doubt dump within a semester of law school starting).

If forget how it happened, but it turned out I had her at my place one afternoon and she asked me to play her some guitar. I go to my bedroom to get it but she follows me. What do I do? I play the stupid thing and not much more.

And this was at a time where I knew how to get the bang and all that. I just thought she was not there for a sexual liaison. I look back and realize what an idiot I was. She was there because she wanted me.

There are others, but this one really comes to mind quickest (and still these days I think about it once in a while without a question prompt it).

Take action fellas.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Usually there is something that throws me off about a girl and causes me not to proceed. There have been a couple though that deserve mention.

Had this decently busty girl that would always hang out with us but she would come out visibly dirty. Like dirt on her feet and legs and on the regular too. Always liked me. Kinda had a crack head type personality that really turned me off. I would think to myself that if her body is this dirty then just imagine down there? We would hang with her just to have a girl in the group. Think my roomie at the time was trying to get with her.

Another girl that always liked me but she was kind of mother goose, had alot of really fine female friends. She looked kind of awkward too and heavy. Well she started working out and has made quite a woman of herself since then.

I've never turned my back on perfectly good poon prolly ever since I turned 18...

 

[Greasy Pig]

The best advice I ever received was from an older mate of mine.
After me complaining again about getting a girl into bed and not fvcking her (too much of a nice guy to make a move), he said: "If a girl is at your home, she is there for a reason, so you MUST make a move on her. If a girl is in your bed, she wants to fvck. There is no other reason she is there and you have every right to get your hands on her."
From that day onwards, I can honestly say I've never chickened out in those circumstances again. This dude was spot on.

If she comes to your nest, she is fully expecting you to make a move. So just do it.

 

[MM92]

One time sticks in my mind. I was 16 and round this lasses house who I knew and was massively attracted to. We flirted loads and even spoke about sex. She had a free house and invited me round. She was constantly saying suggestive things and staring into my eyes like she wanted to fcuk. She even showed me her bedroom! I was not a virgin, having had sex manyyyy times. For some reason I just froze all the time and couldn't make a move. Without a doubt the gayest moment of my life.

I saw her in a club for the first time in about 2 years the other week and she was flirty with me so maybe another chance for when i'm single. Surprised she still doesn't think i'm a massive loser

 

[MM92]

The best advice I ever received was from an older mate of mine.
After me complaining again about getting a girl into bed and not fvcking her (too much of a nice guy to make a move), he said: "If a girl is at your home, she is there for a reason, so you MUST make a move on her. If a girl is in your bed, she wants to fvck. There is no other reason she is there and you have every right to get your hands on her."
From that day onwards, I can honestly say I've never chickened out in those circumstances again. This dude was spot on.

If she comes to your nest, she is fully expecting you to make a move. So just do it.

Yep, pretty much true 90% of the time. I have had a lass in my bed where we were about to get down to it and she stopped at the last second and said she doesn't want to be used and wants a boyfriend. We never had sex and it's safe to say I've never seen her since.

Maybe I should have agreed to be her boyfriend until after the deed but at the time I was too "nice".

 

[betheman]

if I thought too long and hard about how many chances Ive missed id get depresed!

Yep, pretty much true 90% of the time. I have had a lass in my bed where we were about to get down to it and she stopped at the last second and said she doesn't want to be used and wants a boyfriend. We never had sex and it's safe to say I've never seen her since.

Maybe I should have agreed to be her boyfriend until after the deed but at the time I was too "nice".

if ever you are in that situation again, appease her, its common to have this kind of last minute resistance (LMR), you kiss a bit, take it slow, reassure her that she isnt a $lut, tell her ..."this is just between us two and the world can go to hell" then go for it again

 

[SgtSplacker]

Yep, pretty much true 90% of the time. I have had a lass in my bed where we were about to get down to it and she stopped at the last second and said she doesn't want to be used and wants a boyfriend. We never had sex and it's safe to say I've never seen her since.

Maybe I should have agreed to be her boyfriend until after the deed but at the time I was too "nice".

Double quote for truth here. One of the most important things I learned is just to go for it. Because after all I have NO interest in having non-sexual female friends whatsoever. So as soon as I see a reasonable opportunity, i'll take it and if she doesn't like it then I honestly do feel I have done myself a favor.

Part of the thing is to allow yourself to get sexual but at the right times, when she feels that way too. As soon as a girl crosses the door to my room I know for sure we are both thinking about sex. The first thing I do is gently hit on her. I'll smell the back of her neck or something and see if she likes it and take it from there...

 

[pdx1138]

at least 5, but that was the old me.

now, I just go for it, nothing to lose!

 

[floydb25]

Man, oh man... Literally hundreds. My self esteem was so poor back in the day. I couldn't read signals for anything. I thought everyone just wanted to use me, or just be friends. I was nice guy fairytale romantic extreme. I took everything super personally, was over-sensitive to criticism, and believed everything people would say about me. If a GUY said I was ugly, I'd believe him, and then act the part in front of a girl who thought nothing of the sort. I didn't realize the nature of people at all, had several issues of my own, and got bullied / used a lot. Was very negative and full of self hate. Let people control me, and tell me how things are, and just being weak as ****. I didn't realize how many bullies and haters were out there; that I was seeking them out; or really much of anything about anything. I just followed and believed everything. Was ****-blocked a lot, too, which I thought was people looking out for me. Ha ha... Wrong.

It was basically all my own doing. Had so many opportunities slip by because of my own issues. A girl would practically throw herself on me, or stick her ass in my face, or flirt like crazy, and I'd STILL think she didn't like me. All I ever focused on were the rejections, criticisms, and failures - they pretty much ruled my life.

I dont regret it though. Moreso glad that I came to realize all these things, and make the necessary changes.

 

[El Payaso]

I missed one last night. She asked if she could come over and watch a movie and I said I was too tired. It wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realized what she meant. I was really tired though but f*ck!

 

[CaptainSaveAh0]

Don't look back on past opportunities, just keep going out and making new ones... If you depress yourself with looking back at what could have been you will never go forward in life.

 

[VikingKing]

So many. I was raised in a christian household (not that there is anything wrong with that, but my mom always taught me no sex before marriage, I was also homeschooled and I learned about sex from porn)

That said, in highschool i was a shy guy, but a good looking one, I wasnt a pvssy about it, I had girls chasing me, but you know I was taught no sex before marraige, never got the talk.

Personally I will raise my sons differently. Can't wait.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Everyday, I'm married.

 

[donking]

No sex before marriage only applies to daughters.