How many of you guys took dance classes?

[TheFixer14]

I've been told that I should learn how to dance. When you can dance well it can make getting laid pretty easy.

I'm not a good dancer despite the fact that I have two younger sisters who danced for years with once being a dance major in college right now.

Last night I went to some meetup that was in a bar on Sunset Strip. I know that sounds cool but it's not, Sunset is not what it used to be. Not by a long shot. But the location was pretty nice. Anyway, I didn't expect there to be dancing. But sure enough they setup a dance floor with a live band playing. I got to dance with these two women last night who looked okay. They both willingly danced with me and then saw how much I sucked and didn't want to dance with me anymore. I was also kinda drunk so I got a little irritated at the whole thing.

This has happened to me before. It's a little worse now because I hardly go to clubs or anywhere that requires dancing. Because I at least had one or two moves that could get me in the door and then I would just get real physical and escalate from there. But when I do I rather dance now because there is really no point in trying to talk to a woman a club. And bars for me are kinda boring now.

I'm in a bit of situation. I feel as thought my libido is pushing me to find some women even though part of me doesn't want to. And I want to go the easiest route. Day game in L.A doesn't exist and I don't have time for it. I have met women in book stores and etc during the day that I ended up dating. But that's every once in a while. Clubs are sadly the only place where you can meet a good deal a women. And with how most of these women go there just for attention, you have to be able to dance good to become a pattern interruption and get her into you.

Are there any guys who took dance classes to help themselves out? Did it help you score more on the dance floor? What type of dancing did you learn?

 

[bigneil]

Dancing is a natural response that non-drummers have to music.

 

[TheFixer14]

Dancing is a natural response that non-drummers have to music.

What the hell are you even saying? I am a drummer (though the instrument that I play now is the guitar) so I'd like to know.

 

[bigneil]

What the hell are you even saying? I am a drummer (though the instrument that I play now is the guitar) so I'd like to know.

I didn't make that up. That is common knowledge. You either know the drum beat or you wiggle around like an as-s-hole. I hate dancing.

 

[TheFixer14]

I didn't make that up. That is common knowledge. You either know the drum beat or you wiggle around like an as-s-hole. I hate dancing.

I looked it up, and you are sorta right. There is such a thing as beat deafness. But that is very rare. I know for me that I can sense a beat rather well just because I play music. But I can't make quick dance moves, I am very repetitive, and I don't like dancing itself so I don't go into with a loose attitude.

But sadly, it's my best to at least getting more lays. I don't know why, but I just want to fvck right now. Like go on a sex rampage.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've been taking dance classes for about five years now. I take ballroom and NY Hustle (and prefer the latter). I got into it too late for it be of use in the clubs because I don't do clubs anymore. But, I have to say that even structured partner dancing WILL help your "freestyle" because you get a better since of rhythm, and you can learn some cool turns and other moves that you can incorporate into your club freestyle. The dances that I go to still play some club music. Sometimes I freestyle (at less formal dances), and other times I use more formal/structured dancing.

Dancing is great and fun, but will never be a substitute for looks. A Chad that rocks back and forth will generally win out over an average looking guy with cool moves. The nerd with good dance moves leaving with a girl is TV fantasy.

As far as attraction goes, I think dancing can only INCREASE (or decrease lol) attraction that is already there. If she is attracted to you already, then good dancing can certainly help. So overall, it's a plus, and I encourage it, but it's not a silver bullet.

 

[TheFixer14]

I've been taking dance classes for about five years now. I take ballroom and NY Hustle (and prefer the latter). I got into it too late for it be of use in the clubs because I don't do clubs anymore. But, I have to say that even structured partner dancing WILL help your "freestyle" because you get a better since of rhythm, and you can learn some cool turns and other moves that you can incorporate into your club freestyle. The dances that I go to still play some club music. Sometimes I freestyle (at less formal dances), and other times I use more formal/structured dancing.

Dancing is great and fun, but will never be a substitute for looks. A Chad that rocks back and forth will generally win out over an average looking guy with cool moves. The nerd with good dance moves leaving with a girl is TV fantasy.

As far as attraction goes, I think dancing can only INCREASE attraction that is already there. If she is attracted to you already, then good dancing can certainly help. So overall, it's a plus, and I encourage it, but it's not a silver bullet.

Cool.

Good thing for me, I am apparently a good looking dude. I can get just about any woman to dance with me. But I am not enough an Adnois to get them to stay after the see my sh!tty moves I guess.

I live in L.A, and the women that go out here are superficial so believe you me even if they are attracted to you, if you are a ****ty dancer they will either stop dancing with you or make fun of you. Some of them are nice enough to just have fun with you and work with it. But those tend to be older women and foreign women.

So basically to date here you have to be down with being superficial because that's what keeps the woman's attraction going. Attraction really isn't a big deal as it's only curiosity and can die out easily. It's about maintaining that attraction and turning it into something more. Those women would have never agreed to dance with me if they weren't attracted to me, no woman does this. But their attraction died out after they saw what I could do because I am superficial.

That's just the way it is here. I am done getting upset about it. I am just going to play that game.

 

[Mike32ct]

Cool.

Good thing for me, I am apparently a good looking dude. I can get just about any woman to dance with me. But I am not enough an Adnois to get them to stay after the see my ****ty moves I guess.

I live in L.A, and the women that go out here are superficial so believe you me even if they are attracted to you, if you are a ****ty dancer they will either stop dancing with you or make fun of you. Some of them are nice enough to just have fun with you and work with it. But those tend to be older women and foreign women.

So basically to date here you have to be down with being superficial because that's what keeps the woman's attraction going. Attraction really isn't a big deal as it's only curiosity and can die out easily. It's about maintaining that attraction and turning it into something more.

I totally understand that shallowness thing.

Then dance classes should definitely help you. I'm not going to suggest a particular style for you because that's a personal decision. Check some class listings, look at some YouTube videos, and find a style (and type of music) that you think you would enjoy. For example, I know a lot of women love salsa, but I hate it. You gotta do what you enjoy even if it isn't the optimal puzzy attractor. The other thing is finding a teacher that you like.

As for fitness/body, if you want to be a dancer, don't get TOO bulky because you'll get too STIFF. Working out is fine, but lean towards higher reps, plenty of cardio, core strength, etc. Don't be a powerlifter and try to be a dancer at the same time lol. A lean but muscular build is attractive but still flexible enough to dance.

 

[TheFixer14]

I totally understand that shallowness thing.

Then dance classes should definitely help you. I'm not going to suggest a particular style for you because that's a personal decision. Check some class listings, look at some YouTube videos, and find a style (and type of music) that you think you would enjoy. For example, I know a lot of women love salsa, but I hate it. You gotta do what you enjoy even if it isn't the optimal puzzy attractor. The other thing is finding a teacher that you like.

As for fitness/body, if you want to be a dancer, don't get TOO bulky because you'll get too STIFF. Working out is fine, but lean towards higher reps, plenty of cardio, core strength, etc. Don't be a powerlifter and try to be a dancer at the same time lol. A lean but muscular build is attractive but still flexible enough to dance.

I was thinking of salsa since it's very sexual and I give off a gothic romantic vibe around women. But Tango or something very fast paced would be cool.

And thanks for the heads up about fitness/body. I am actually rejoining the gym today so now I know what to focus on.

I don't enjoy it so I won't do it. I like having not marketable traits like music or dance and still stealing the girl

Then I assume that you don't go to clubs.

I don't have time for day game since I am busy making money. And L.A doesn't have much day game anyway.

 

[SenorBotches]

I am still pretty new to game, but was in portland for 2 months for work and went to a social dance almost every day (quick 30 min lesson followed by social dancing), and holy ****, I can open just about any set by asking someone to dance since I think they can see the confidence in my eyes about my skills. I'd say it helps in clubs where dancing creates social value for yourself.

 

[Mike32ct]

I am still pretty new to game, but was in portland for 2 months for work and went to a social dance almost every day (quick 30 min lesson followed by social dancing), and holy ****, I can open just about any set by asking someone to dance since I think they can see the confidence in my eyes about my skills. I'd say it helps in clubs where dancing creates social value for yourself.

Absolutely. A social dance is a much more friendly environment than a club, but it can still give you great practice for both dancing and approaching and interacting, and you can use that practice to help you in the clubs.

A lot of women really enjoy conversations while social dancing too. But it's not easy for new male dancers to pull off because it involves serious multi-tasking. Your brain is "tied up" and the old Windows hourglass is going as you are processing the steps and trying to stay on beat. However, once you get good at a certain dance, you can talk at the same time.

However, initially while learning dance, you politely (almost) want to tell her to STFU so you can stay on beat lol.

 

[BeExcellent]

In short yes. You'll benefit socially and you never know it may help you professionally too along the way.

Latin dancing is great. Salsa is pretty simple and so are Cha Cha & Borchata (which I never heard of until I went social dancing in SoCal.)

Call the Atomic Ballroom in the OC. I want to say they are in Irvine. They are very hooked up into the social dance scene and can hook you up with a good place to learn in LA. Many of the dance studio places also host social dances (Atomic does every evening) so it's a great venue to learn, practice, and stay sharp. People of various skill sets are there and typically it's very easy to meet folks because everyone is there to learn & enjoy dance.

I sometimes drop in at studios like the Atomic while I'm traveling on business instead of hanging at some bar or restaurant.

As the guy you must learn to lead in dance. It takes a little effort but once you learn the girls will want to dance with you. I used to wing for a buddy of mine who was an unapologetic freestyler in the clubs. I learned his every move & people thought we were part of the show. After 2 or 3 songs dancing with him every girl wanted to dance with him. Why? He was with a hot woman and he could dance. He was tall & lanky & had nice looks but was not drop dead gorgeous. I can't count the number of times I got that guy laid. Sometimes several different girls a weekend.

So if you have a LJBF girl who is cute say from your master class, learn dance with her or go out with her. You can help each other meet other people.

 

[TheFixer14]

In short yes. You'll benefit socially and you never know it may help you professionally too along the way.

Latin dancing is great. Salsa is pretty simple and so are Cha Cha & Borchata (which I never heard of until I went social dancing in SoCal.)

Call the Atomic Ballroom in the OC. I want to say they are in Irvine. They are very hooked up into the social dance scene and can hook you up with a good place to learn in LA. Many of the dance studio places also host social dances (Atomic does every evening) so it's a great venue to learn, practice, and stay sharp. People of various skill sets are there and typically it's very easy to meet folks because everyone is there to learn & enjoy dance.

I sometimes drop in at studios like the Atomic while I'm traveling on business instead of hanging at some bar or restaurant.

As the guy you must learn to lead in dance. It takes a little effort but once you learn the girls will want to dance with you. I used to wing for a buddy of mine who was an unapologetic freestyler in the clubs. I learned his every move & people thought we were part of the show. After 2 or 3 songs dancing with him every girl wanted to dance with him. Why? He was with a hot woman and he could dance. He was tall & lanky & had nice looks but was not drop dead gorgeous. I can't count the number of times I got that guy laid. Sometimes several different girls a weekend.

So if you have a LJBF girl who is cute say from your master class, learn dance with her or go out with her. You can help each other meet other people.

Thanks! That was very helpful.

I used to be like some of the guys here thinking that you don't need dancing to get more women. And sure you don't have to dance to get women. But you are cutting yourself off from a lot of women, especially in major cities. And there is no point in clubbing if you can't dance.

You mention that a guy must learn to lead in dance. That is where my issues lay. I am not a confident dancer so I cannot lead with confidence. I think I'm going to take some Salsa classes, sounds like a good time.

 

[Roober]

I have wanted to learn how to dance for a while. Taken a couple group lessons and would recommend. I don't think it will help you get laid necessarily directly. However, you will meet more people and it will provide more opportunties for engaging women, not being the dude hanging at the bar with your d**k in your hand.

 

[Mike32ct]

You mention that a guy must learn to lead in dance. That is where my issues lay. I am not a confident dancer so I cannot lead with confidence. I think I'm going to take some Salsa classes, sounds like a good time.

One of my favorite Mystery quotes is something to the effect of, "I don't care about confidence. I care about competence."

I think it's great advice for game (as originally intended), life, work, and in this case, dancing. I wouldn't even waste your time thinking about "confidence" with respect to leading or dancing. Go to class, have fun, ask questions, get lots of practice, and keep making corrections/improvement "tweaks." Once you have a base level of competence at Salsa, you won't have to worry about confidence. It will just naturally folllow.

I still get quite nervous for a couple seconds asking someone to dance (for freestyle, ballroom or Hustle), but once I get on the dance floor, the automated competence kicks in and I do fine. I actually feel MORE comfortable dancing than talking.

 

[TheFixer14]

One of my favorite Mystery quotes is something to the effect of, "I don't care about confidence. I care about competence."

I think it's great advice for game (as originally intended), life, work, and in this case, dancing. I wouldn't even waste your time thinking about "confidence" with respect to leading or dancing. Go to class, have fun, ask questions, get lots of practice, and keep making corrections/improvement "tweaks." Once you have a base level of competence at Salsa, you won't have to worry about confidence. It will just naturally folllow.

I still get quite nervous for a couple seconds asking someone to dance (for freestyle, ballroom or Hustle), but once I get on the dance floor, the automated competence kicks in and I do fine. I actually feel MORE comfortable dancing than talking.

Eh. I think that confidence comes before competence. You have to be able to put yourself out there before you get good at anything.

 

[Konada]

Eh. I think that confidence comes before competence. You have to be able to put yourself out there before you get good at anything.

Courage --> Competence --> Confidence

Dance with a female who is experienced. You learn to lead better/faster that way, the hand that gets burned is one that learns the fastest.

I sucked at leading until I was partnered with a senior female dancer in latin ballroom. I got alot of sh!t from her in the beginning but now every girl compliments how good I am at leading and I get to choose who I want to dance with. The senior female even said 'Holy Sh!t, I actually like dancing with you now!'

 

[Young OG]

Go on youtube. There are tons of videos on there that you can learn from

 

[Herb]

I started taking some salsa and tango lessons but have yet to fully commit to them (the place I go to isn't very welcoming to total newcomers, and the weekly free lessons offered are very fast-paced, with many of the people there too impatient to deal with noobs, since most come for the intermediate/advanced classes). However, I do see a lot of importance in dancing skills as far as picking up women or at least maintaining and enhancing their attraction toward you.

I still remember the nightmarish occasion a couple of years ago when my dance skills, or lack thereof, actually *ruined* what was basically already in the bag for me (almost guaranteed sex with the hottest girl I'd gone on a date with). Met this girl from Spain who was in the states for an exchange program at this event, took her out later that week for some drinks and tapas. Had a great time and she was feeling me quite clearly. But it turned out to be a place that some of her friends liked to go to also, as she noticed them about an hour into it, and since it wasn't really an official "date", I decided to keep it casual and engage them in convo as a group. Even then, it was still okay since I made a good first impression on them, and I later took her aside to have more private interactions; we were playing a game like never have I ever, and she said something like "never have I ever had sex in America", which was seemingly my cue to take her back home and do the deed. I was about to do so in the next few minutes when her half-drunken friend came by and said something like "hey look there's a dance floor!", which I'd been dreading...

The girl I was with got all excited and pulled me toward the dance floor. I kind of protested a bit but grudgingly got on it. Turns out that she, being Spanish, has excellent ballroom/salsa dancing skills... I couldn't even begin to keep up. I think it was how I handled it more than my actual lack of skill that turned her off. I kind of tried awkwardly dancing with her and her friends in this half-assed, unconfident manner. This other Spanish dude saw my weakness here and swooped in on the girl I was with, showing off his amazing moves full of all those damn twirls and ****, and generally acting all macho. After that, instead of like leaving or dancing with another girl, I kind of hovered around them doing some dumb moves off on my own, waiting for them to finish. She kind of started turning away from me at this point. I tried dancing with her friends but wasn't feeling the music enough to do much with it. Eventually, one of her friends started giving me pointers, and told me that girls value confidence above all, but this made me look beta af, and also kind of put me on the spot. I tried re-engaging the girl I was with, but at this point she almost seemed embarrassed to be around me and had a very disappointed look to her. She also seemed more interested in the other guy. I left to go talk to some other girls at the bar, hoping to make her jealous, but it didn't work well. At the end of the night I didn't even have the guts to ask her to come back home with me, something that I was so ready to do just an hour earlier. She was almost ignoring me as I was trying to talk to her, and eventually kind of friend-zoned me and acted like she had no idea that I was interested in her or she in me earlier, which was bs. But I can't blame her. At least she didn't go home with another guy, and just left with her friends after an awkward goodbye. I realized I should have just peaced for a little while while letting her do her thing on the dancefloor, telling her I was going to get more drinks or use the men's room and going to the other side of the large venue. But instead I just screwed myself lol. The next week I tried texting her with a come to my place to **** invitation but it was too late to undo the damage.

There's another occasion where dancing ruined things for me with a girl that should have been mine, and that was on my birthday like five years ago. But I've gotten somewhat better since then. And other times, like in rave settings, my dancing actually helped me score.

For me, it depends on the kind of dancing. I actually excel at like modern, unstructured, improvisational dancing, especially to things like EDM, trap, and hip hop. Funky, dirty beats make me just kinda go, in a natural way, and a lot of people are impressed by some of the things I pull out. I can't do as well with mainstream pop songs though. I guess I'm just not as into it and don't feel it as much. That's the most important thing.

When I was younger I learned some classical dancing like waltzing or square dancing, which is pretty easy, but kinda boring. When it comes to Latino dances, I can't seem to pick up on them because the music just sounds like a chaotic cacophany of different instruments coming together. There's so much going on it's hard to pick up on the beat, and it seems really hectic and fast-paced. I guess you just have to get used to it. Unfortunately, it's things like salsa and pop dancing that girls today seem to be into the most, so it sucks for me.

Dancing is a natural response that non-drummers have to music.

Nice. Eloquently put. But unfortunately there's a bit more to it than that. More people are better dancers than drummers. And there's some people who can't pick up on rhythm to save their lives.

Good thing for me, I am apparently a good looking dude. I can get just about any woman to dance with me. But I am not enough an Adnois to get them to stay after the see my sh!tty moves I guess.

I'm in the same boat, I guess? But I don't think that guy who says looks are the most important thing is right. I don't know why I keep seeing this kind of statement over and over, even on a site like this where I thought men were more perceptive about what's real... But oh well.

I have a friend who can't dance for **** but he does this thing where he gets drunk enough and then finds a girl who looks drunk enough and then just starts grinding on her from behind. Apparently 1 out of 4 or 5 times it works for him, and he might even screw her in the bathroom.