"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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How long to wait before getting back into the game?

noBSgames

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Some might know me from the BPD thread and the **** that happened not too long ago.. long story short I got coned by a BPD while she says she was my girlfriend for 2 years only for her to get married about 5 days ago just out of the blue.


I know I need some healing time but I don't want to jump in too quick.. I'm wondering where the place places to get some nice hits?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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resilient

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Do your best, OP, to move on with your life. She got hitched suddenly, yet who know's how happy she'll be and for how long considering her dating history.

Take care of yourself, while you're on the sidelines.

Get back into the game when you feel ready. No rush/pressure.

*Edit* I got an email from a devotional today that may resonate with you:

"Become all that you've been called to be...
...position yourself to overcome discouragement, doubt, and unbelief."​
 
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noBSgames

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Do your best, OP, to move on with your life. She got hitched suddenly, yet who know's how happy she'll be and for how long considering her dating history.

Take care of yourself, while you're on the sidelines.

Get back into the game when you feel ready. No rush/pressure.

*Edit* I got an email from a devotional today that may resonate with you:

"Become all that you've been called to be...
...position yourself to overcome discouragement, doubt, and unbelief."​
Right now I feel free my friends knew about her so they been a great help too honestly working on my car and seeing how I'm 90% done is like my biggest excitement right now because I know I won't have her trying to stop me and I'm free to go.

Besides it's been 3 years now

My biggest fear going into the next relationship is grilling her so hard it might be a turn off..
 
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When guys say they need "healing time," a part of that is due to the ego being bruised and not wanting to go through the embarrassment caused by a previous break-up. But think about it: you've spent the last 3 years still focusing on how this break up affected you, and she's moved on. Are you really going to continue to allow how she treated you to hold your emotions captive like this?

The reality is, when you open your heart to women, some of them are going to treat you sh!tty. That's no reason to hold on to that anger and berate the next woman that comes along. Yes, you may still have that fear going into the next relationship, but if you're willing to not allow the outcomes of relationships to determine who you are and what you believe a relationship could be, you'll be a lot better for it.
 

noBSgames

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Yeah that's true as in not to wait too long I would feel better if I got some of her stuff out of the house
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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