How long to go No Contact for?

[sageproduct]

This is not about getting an ex back.



Started seeing girl 2 weeks ago. We go back to my place first night, we really connect, really like each other, text every single day, see each other about 6 or 7 times in 2 weeks, she does everything I say, rearranges her schedule to see me, showed up at my place on a night she was busy studying just to bring me cookies.

I'm so nice to her it's treading into AFC territory (but not quite there), but she digs "nice" stuff like cuddling. Super sweet girl, very pretty but doesn't know it, good sense of humor, great attitude, no emotional baggage, makes an effort to impress me. I'm a 20 year old undergrad and she's 23 and in a master's program.



Wednesday night I fwcked up. I took the advice of a female friend, surprised her at her place with a rose and asked her to be my girlfriend. She hesitated, told me she just got out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything too serious. I asked if she wanted to see other people, she said "Not here, but if I go back to my hometown..." (she and her long-distance boyfriend from her hometown broke up two weeks before I started seeing her) I kissed her, said it was ok, went home. She offered to drive me but I refused, then she texted asking if I made the bus. I texted back a little then stopped replying.

The next day (yesterday) she texts me something cute at 5, I don't respond. At 9 she asks me how my day was, I don't respond.


I'm just doing temporary NC to gain some ground back in the relationship. Once NC is over, I'll re-initiate with her, downgrade her to once a week status, and if she asks why I vanished I'll tell her I needed some time away from her to start thinking about her in a more casual way.


How long should I keep NC up? A day? A week? Should I even be doing it? Yes, I am spinning 3 other plates (all of who are attractive and fun but NOT relationship material), the hottest of which I just saw yesterday. I do kind of want a relationship right now, but I can handle seeing this girl casually if I have other plates. I know I don't have one-itis, trust me I've had it MANY times.

I don't want to hurt this girl. She has done NOTHING wrong to me, has never disrespected me in any way. But I will not save myself for someone who is still in love with her ex and might get back with him.

 

[Renegade357]

Wednesday night I fwcked up. I took the advice of a female friend, surprised her at her place with a rose and asked her to be my girlfriend.

Doh, I bet you'll never make that mistake again!

How long should I keep NC up?

Haha if you feel sick inside I'd say keep it up forever. Once you learn not to get attached before they do the right things you'll be able to drop them quicker and just "Bro" it. In other words not giving a fvvvk. That's a good feeling.

 

[dap]

I wouldn't do all-out NC. That seems like something more to help people move on after breaking up. If your intention is to move on, then do NC. If your intention is to get this girl to be your girlfriend, then I would definitely pull back some and make her work to regain your interest, but no contact is too reactionary. Also, you mentioned that you were going to explain this reaction as telling her that you "needed time away from her." This is a very bad idea. You don't want this girl to think that you were affected at all by her. Instead, say that you have been busy training for a triathalon or doing something else cool (and true) that doesn't make it look like your whole world changed since she didn't want to be your gf.