"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How long should i wait before i give up on her?

Levex

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Once again i need to refer to this site for some advice...

Been hanging out with this girl for almost 2 months. we have a GREAT time every time we get together, her IL is pretty high and she's usually very busy but always tries to shuffle things around to hang out with me. now here's the problem: she wont have sex yet.
The official reason i was given is that she wants to, but she only had 5 sexual partners her whole life and all those were while in relationship(shes 23), and she knew each guy for a long time before that. When we started hanging out she knew i was dating other people and i told her i'm not looking for anything serious at the moment, which she said was fine, but she wants to wait until she knows me better to have sex.
now, i am getting it somewhere else so its not like i'm hurting for it and told her i'd be willing to drop other girls if she wants to take it to next level(which is true i really would).
this really is unfamiliar territory for me, i have never waited this long without just saying **** it and moving on, but i like this girl and while its not all about sex it does eat at me that its taking so long...
what would you do in my situation? any tips?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MainDroite

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She wants to be sure you're not just going to bang her and disappear.

This puts you in an uncomfortable position because she's got you right where she wants without having to give anything in return. There's a chance she might get used to that.

You might want to pull away for a while and hint at spending time with other (lady) friends.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Levex said:
Once again i need to refer to this site for some advice...

Been hanging out with this girl for almost 2 months. we have a GREAT time every time we get together, her IL is pretty high and she's usually very busy but always tries to shuffle things around to hang out with me. now here's the problem: she wont have sex yet.
The official reason i was given is that she wants to, but she only had 5 sexual partners her whole life and all those were while in relationship(shes 23), and she knew each guy for a long time before that. When we started hanging out she knew i was dating other people and i told her i'm not looking for anything serious at the moment, which she said was fine, but she wants to wait until she knows me better to have sex.
now, i am getting it somewhere else so its not like i'm hurting for it and told her i'd be willing to drop other girls if she wants to take it to next level(which is true i really would).
this really is unfamiliar territory for me, i have never waited this long without just saying **** it and moving on, but i like this girl and while its not all about sex it does eat at me that its taking so long...
what would you do in my situation? any tips?



Your leverage in this situation is the fact that other girls want you. Why would you willingly TELL HER that you would throw all that away for her? Don't get me wrong nothing wrong with liking a girl, but telling a girl that you throw it all away for her when you haven't even seen her naked is like investing in some off shore island land because the agent showed you a drawing of how it "could be." Catch me drift?

In my experience and Rollo has hit this on the head enough as well, ANY GIRL THAT MAKES YOU WAIT FOR SEX......THE SEX NEVER ENDS UP BEING WORTH IT!

Whether she is a good girl or not, she's using the prospect of sex to increase your interest in her, which means her claws have been sunk in and your attracted to the possibility of hitting it more than anything else.

Remember, don't bring up relationship stuff, that's the girl's job. Let her wonder what you two are, let her ask to be exclusive and if she's not backing all this up with her actions during the audition phase, then you have a bad employee on your hands asking for a raise.




PIMP
 

Levex

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MainDroite said:
She wants to be sure you're not just going to bang her and disappear.

This puts you in an uncomfortable position because she's got you right where she wants without having to give anything in return. There's a chance she might get used to that.

You might want to pull away for a while and hint at spending time with other (lady) friends.
Thats kind of what i was thinking...i really dont think she's just ****ing me around because we do work together(i know bad news, but whats done is done too late now), and pretty much everyone at work knows we are dating, we go to lunch here and there and she openly talks about the fact that we regularly hang out outside of work.

edit: pimpsicle, i know i blew it on that one, but too late now.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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st_99

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This is already doomed IMO for one simple reason. You are negotiating sex. You're discussing it like its some kind of business deal. That's retarded. Although I only have a paragraph to go by and don't know the entire scenario so I could be wrong.

..and another thing, if you aren't having sex after 2 months, you're not dating. You're friends.
 

Levex

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st_99 said:
This is already doomed IMO for one simple reason. You are negotiating sex. You're discussing it like its some kind of business deal. That's retarded. Although I only have a paragraph to go by and don't know the entire scenario so I could be wrong.

..and another thing, if you aren't having sex after 2 months, you're not dating. You're friends.
lol, it almost feels like negotiating, and i agree with you it is retarded.
at this point i'm inclined to withdraw my attention and see if she comes around in a couple weeks. if not, LJBF her and forget about it.
 

Credos

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Johnnyventana said:
General rule of thumb: Never show your hand else that's all you'll be getting.
Nice quote, respect :D
 
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