2.0
Don Juan
I've heard everywhere from one minute to an hour. How long do you wait for a late date?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How long do you wait for your date?
- Thread starter 2.0
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
The Decay of Meaning
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2008
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I'd say depends if she sends you a message or not, explain the situation for being late or not, if you have lots of things to do besides the date, what your gut feeling tells you etc.
You don't need a piece of paper where it says "if this happens, do that, and if that happens, do this".
You don't need a piece of paper where it says "if this happens, do that, and if that happens, do this".
2.0
Don Juan
Okay, let's say no message.
Igetit!
Moderator
I'd wait 15 to 20 minutes,then I'd leave. If the two of you agree on a time,then you show up on time,but she arrives 30 minutes late,then she'd be there by herself if I were you. If she shows up an hour late and you're still there waiting for her,all you're doing is teaching her that she can disrespect your time with no consequences. If you set up a date at 4pm,and the date's supposed to last an hour,and she shows up at 4:15 or 4:20,go ahead and end the date at 5 o'clock like you originally planned. Maybe the shortness of the date will inspire her to show up on time next time.
Women will push and get away with whatever you allow,therefore raise your standards. I look at it like this: If a woman can show up at her job everyday,on time, with no problem at all,if she has the common sense and consideration to call her employer if for some reason she's going to be late,then she can do it with a guy who asks her out.
You mean to tell me that she can call her boss if she can't make it to work,but she can't use that same consideration when it comes to dating? Yeah right.
If you're late over and over again to your job,well guess what happens? You get fired. Women know this. They know there is a consequence to showing up late for work,so they don't do it. If she knows there's a consequence to her showing up late for a date with you,then she'll show up on time if she's really interested in you.
I had this happen to me one time. I had a date set up with a girl,and I showed up like 5 minutes early. Well,I waited like 20 minutes,then I got up and left. While I was driving,I saw her in her car headed to the park where we were supposed to meet,so I turned around and went back to the park to meet her. When we got out of our cars,I told her that I was just about to leave,and that I wasn't going to wait for her all day.Then the next time we had a date,guess what? She showed up on time. In fact,she was early. She beat me there. Simply command respect for your time,and refuse to accept anything less. Then either she'll get in line,or tell her to get lost.
It's just that simple.
Women will push and get away with whatever you allow,therefore raise your standards. I look at it like this: If a woman can show up at her job everyday,on time, with no problem at all,if she has the common sense and consideration to call her employer if for some reason she's going to be late,then she can do it with a guy who asks her out.
You mean to tell me that she can call her boss if she can't make it to work,but she can't use that same consideration when it comes to dating? Yeah right.
If you're late over and over again to your job,well guess what happens? You get fired. Women know this. They know there is a consequence to showing up late for work,so they don't do it. If she knows there's a consequence to her showing up late for a date with you,then she'll show up on time if she's really interested in you.
I had this happen to me one time. I had a date set up with a girl,and I showed up like 5 minutes early. Well,I waited like 20 minutes,then I got up and left. While I was driving,I saw her in her car headed to the park where we were supposed to meet,so I turned around and went back to the park to meet her. When we got out of our cars,I told her that I was just about to leave,and that I wasn't going to wait for her all day.Then the next time we had a date,guess what? She showed up on time. In fact,she was early. She beat me there. Simply command respect for your time,and refuse to accept anything less. Then either she'll get in line,or tell her to get lost.
It's just that simple.
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facadegeniality
Don Juan
- Joined
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wow nice. what made you turn back? Would making her call you when she realised u r nt there be better?Igetit! said:
i'm curious coz that was wat i was expecting while reading it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Igetit!
Moderator
Well,the thing is that we had already been like on two previous dates,so there was already a bit of a relationship established there. Plus,when I went back to meet her,we arrived there at the same time,so I guess it looked to her as if I were late too. I told her that I had already left until I saw her in her car, and that I had turned around to meet her,then I just flat out told her I wasn't going to wait all day for her.facadegeniality said:
It's the same for 1st dates,or any another date after that. It's just that with first dates,she doesn't yet know where the boundry is,so she might test you to see what exactly she can get away with. And she'll get away with whatever you allow.
facadegeniality
Don Juan
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ah icic so it wasnt a first date.
if it was a first date, would you have turned back then? i for sure wouldn't coz i have decided to leave.
if it was a first date, would you have turned back then? i for sure wouldn't coz i have decided to leave.
Igetit!
Moderator
I would have done exactly the same thing if it had been the first date. If I had arrived to the meeting place on time,and she had not shown up after 20 minutes,I would have got up and left as well. If I had seen her while in her car headed to the date while I was leaving,I would have turned around and went back to meet her,then once we both arrive there,I'd tell her that I had already been there and left,and that then only reason I turned around was because I saw her in her car. But I still would have told her that I wasn't going to wait around all day for her.facadegeniality said:
To me,it makes no difference what date it is,whether it's the 1st or the 5th.
If I had been there at the date,left after 20 minutes,and had not seen her headed to the date,I'd just went on my merry way about my business,and I WOULD NOT have called her to explain where I was or why I wasn't at the date site. Why should I call her? If she's the one who's late,if she's the one who can't make it for some reason,then she should have the decency to call and let me know what happened. If she doesn't have the respect and cosideration to let me know what's happened at the beginning of a possible relationship,that's just a foreshadowing of what things would be like in a LTR with her.
Likewise,your behavior would also be a foreshadowing for her. If her being late for dates and get togethers means her being alone when she does finally get to the meeting place,then she'll know,(at least with you),that she better be there on time,or else she'll be eating or watching the movies alone.
I don't give passes or excuses to women. Like I said before,if she can show up at her job on time everyday,then she can show up once or twice a week at a date on time as well.
facadegeniality
Don Juan
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icic im just wondering...what if u left and u din see her and she calls?
what would you say after u told her that u wudnt wait for her all day?
make another date or go back to the venue?
what would you say after u told her that u wudnt wait for her all day?
make another date or go back to the venue?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
loving
Senior Don Juan
Everything here quoted for emphasis. Especially the last paragraph, great tip thank yoU!Espi said:15 minutes.
If she's not there after 15 minutes, chances are she's not showing up anyway.
Also, if I agreed to meet her for an hour and she shows up within 15 minutes late, I do not extend the meeting time...one hour means one hour.
But, if she's not there a quarter hour after our meeting time, I leave, but I call her the next day and apologize for missing the date."I am SO sorry for missing our date yesterday. Things at work just got so crazy..." I never allow a woman the satisfaction that she was able to casually dismiss my time. I shove that disrespect right back in her face.
2.0
Don Juan
Thank you Igetit! You answered my question perfectly! Very helpful indeed.