How is it that I fail with women who show HI?

[El MonoLoco]

The question really is how is it that I always seem to be too eager to be with the women who show High Interest and end up failing in the end?

This doesn't happen with chicks who hide it more or don't show much interest but enough to keep me interested..

Its like I fall flat on my face once I know a chick is in to me and play hard to get with the one's that don't....

How can I balance this out or flip it to be in my favor?

 

[poohead]

spin more plates

 

[El MonoLoco]

Ok I'm spinnin plates and still spinnin my wheels

Take my current situation....I've b*tched about it enough here it's almost driving me nuts...

2 girls...

1 shows real high interest
1 shows so so interest

No problems with so so girl
I can't get HI chick to call me back after 1 real funky night.....Something I did that I'm not sure if it was my fault or not has me feeling like I need to try more with HI chick, so like a fool I've called a bunch and basically acted like an AFC idiot x10 imo

why?
I don't know


you be the judge...

 

[Bonhomme]

You're probably putting more value on the HI ones than the situations call for, and they can sense it, and it's telegraphing a sort of inecurity that's not there with the so-so gals.

Too high of expectations, basically. Awareness of the problem is the 1st step to correcting it.

 

[hanlinting]

patience my friend...go slow don't rush there is a time for everything

 

[niceguydying]

I second patience!!! I had the same thing a couple of weeks ago. This women showed a HI and I screwed up and let it mess me up. Take this advice please or you will be an AFC like I was. When I sensed her high level I overplayed my hand and her interest level went the other way. It ended pretty badly for me and it will you too if you let it. I said way too much and I regretted it later and I learned a valuable lesson. The lesson I learned was much more than I ever would have gotten from a relationship from her.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

A very good concept i learned from DD is "two steps forward,one step back",you opened to her ,she had HI,the moment you sense her interest dropping (or if you can sense when its on its peak) BOOM one step back,then again this time more kino/cf/flirting,then the new interest peak is higher than before then again you back off (this is golden when you're in a group with other females and you turn your back on her and chat another girl or wander off).In no time you will have her drooling over you.Remember to take 2 steps forward each time cause if you take "one" you'll be where you left off and not where you want to be going to.

 

[Le Parisien]

We can not say for sure since we didn't experience your experience first hand.
Nevertheless what the other posters said were very relevent.

I may add another point that can also be pretty common: conscious or subconscious attention wh*ring.

I also had my share of high interest that turned out to be total disastrous failures. But now looking back, it's pretty clear that they were NOT genuine high interest, just attempts to get my attention.

One little example:
Sometime back I joined a campus musical, I was the best male dancer on the team. Since the first day, one cute blond girl was eyeing me real bad. And starting from the second time we rehearsed, she asked me to come to her dorm room to listen to the other songs we would be playing for the show. It was so unbelievable that she actually did that in front of a few other members of the crew. Ok nothing happened that day, but I was so sure that things were already "in the pocket" as the French would put it.
Of course it was too good to be true. One month later, I learned that the whole time she had a boyfriend, and most other girls on the crew knew it. I learned that because one day she couldn't make it for our rehearsal (she was actually the dance leader of the musical) because her boyfriend left her very weirdly for no reason, and she was crying her heart out that she couldn't do the rehearsal. And she called me to cancel the rehearsal.
After that relationship between us was almost ice cold.

Anyway, to sum things up, as the Chinese would say: love doesn't come out of nowhere, neither does hate. If some girl shows "high interest" out of nowhere without even knowing you, something's not right.

From my personal experience, genuine high interest doesn't build up instantly, it takes some time (it might be just days, but definitely not instantly). And girls with genuine high interest are real nervous in front of you. You will catch them checking you out, but at the same time trying not to. They will talk to you, but many times it feels they don't know what to say, etc etc...