"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How important is personal happiness to being a DJ?

the_gunslinger

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Well, heres a question i asked myself this morning. Just lately I've been having a lot more sucess with basic DJ skills, thanks in part to Spike the cowboys note technique and trying cold approaches for the first time. While i should be happy with my sucess and how far i've come in the past few months, especially now I have my exams out of the way, i find myself getting more and more apathetic towards everything, be it the gym, going out or whatever.

Today I was supposed to be looking for a flat in the city, and i met the girl i was living with for the first time today. To put it bluntly, she was amazing. Gorgeous, funny and had a wicked personality, we got on great, but unfortunately she's spoken for (in other words, she fancies someone else who's got a girlfriend). While I suppose i should be glad that she's out of the equasion, and i can focus on getting another chick, for some reason i cant forget about this girl, all the others i've managed to number close over the past few weeks seem pale by comparison.

So does anyone have any idea why I'm feeling like this, why im apathetic and miserable when i should be proud that i have achieved what i initially wanted to? I honeslty dont feel that im going to be happy if i dont have this girl, and I KNOW i shouldnt be this hung up about it, she is, after all, just a girl.

I suppose what I'm asking is should i persue this girl, even though its going to make me miserable and i risk both my happiness and a bad case of onitis, but the rewards would be amazing, or do i continue trying to become a better DJ and chase after other chicks in the hope that i'll meet someone that comes close.

Can anyone offer some advice to help me get out of this rut and move on before it gets too bad?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Hot Ice

Master Don Juan
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To your topic question:


Remember priorities. You gotta set them first.
Your life before girls. They are just girls bro.


I just done this progress once again!
I'd suggest you start ordering your life they way YOU feel like.
Do whatever makes you happy.
Keep the improving in mind though.

Lying on a couch eating potato chips isn't what you REALLY wanna do, right?


Concentrate on your hobbies, get the hell rid of ANYTHING that may cause or causes you extra stress.


When you don't have your life right, you just don't feel for chicks.

ALWAYS set your life and your enjoyment of it as the 1st priority.
When you have this covered, it's smooth salining.


To your post:


Do what you feel like doing.
There's no risks in life. We are dead anyway. Dead.

Think about that. Death. When you existence is no more.
You can't develope oneitis and be sad then, eh.


All I'm saying is that stop wondering about girls.
Do what you have to do. You are a man. Life is too short to be wasted THINKING about some damn girl.
Thinking is such waste of time.

While you think, I'm banging here...
Get it?
 

Dirtheart

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You need to develop self-respect and this isn't something you can fake. If your life is unfulfilling, you're going to depend on a woman to make you happy, and inevitably end up clingy, dependent and afraid of loss. Women don't find this attractive.

So yes, you need be happy and consider a woman an accessory to your life rather than the core.
 

WestCoaster

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The entire essence of DJism is having your own life

Please, read the DJ Bible. DJism, which is lost to 90 percent of the people on this site, is about self-improvement, having one's own life, career, hobbies and developing your own intellect, being in control of your emotions, and not letting any woman be the center of your life.

Also, do not let the pursuit of women be the center of your life. They are the side dish, not the main meal ... we just weren't taught that as Hollywood, American culture, tells us to succumb to women and give up our lives for them.

They are wrong.

So please, before you move on to another post on this site, read the DJ Bible as it says it all.

There's not a woman on this planet that should be dictating your self-esteem ... not one.
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Be your own man, not a little lost puppy dog.

For a true Don Juan, it isn't all about getting laid. It is about being the best man that you can be.

Learn detachment.



:cool:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Kidquick

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Re: The entire essence of DJism is having your own life

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Please, read the DJ Bible. DJism, which is lost to 90 percent of the people on this site, is about self-improvement, having one's own life, career, hobbies and developing your own intellect, being in control of your emotions, and not letting any woman be the center of your life.

Also, do not let the pursuit of women be the center of your life. They are the side dish, not the main meal ... we just weren't taught that as Hollywood, American culture, tells us to succumb to women and give up our lives for them.

They are wrong.

So please, before you move on to another post on this site, read the DJ Bible as it says it all.

There's not a woman on this planet that should be dictating your self-esteem ... not one.
Well said West! I've only been here for a little while, but I noticed right away that there are plenty of class acts on this site, and I've learned alot already. :cool:
 

MindOverMatter

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Please, read the DJ Bible. DJism, which is lost to 90 percent of the people on this site, is about self-improvement, having one's own life, career, hobbies and developing your own intellect, being in control of your emotions, and not letting any woman be the center of your life.

Also, do not let the pursuit of women be the center of your life. They are the side dish, not the main meal ... we just weren't taught that as Hollywood, American culture, tells us to succumb to women and give up our lives for them.

They are wrong.

So please, before you move on to another post on this site, read the DJ Bible as it says it all.

There's not a woman on this planet that should be dictating your self-esteem ... not one.

Amen! As Pook says You can't be happy in a relationship unless you're happy being single. If you're not strong enough to life your life apart from this woman, you will not be strong enough to maintain a relationship with her.

I suppose what I'm asking is should i persue this girl, even though its going to make me miserable and i risk both my happiness and a bad case of onitis, but the rewards would be amazing, or do i continue trying to become a better DJ and chase after other chicks in the hope that i'll meet someone that comes close.
you get infatuated way too easily. I mean you only talked to this girl once, and you're already comparing every other girl to her saying you're never gonna find someone as good as her? You know what kind of people do this? Hint, it starts with an A and ends with a C.

Even if you had a chance with this broad, if you entered that relationship with the mentality of "im never gonna find anyone as good as her" you would blow it. Move on with your life, date other women, and stop putting them on pedestals. As Adonis said, they eat, sleep, sh1t, and have their own problems just like you and me.
 
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