how important is it to appear or be busy?

[slowsteam]

Question for all you players

How important is it for you to b busy or look busy to a girl you're trying to bag?

I have this girl that recently came back into my life and even up until recently I was constantly in her space. She must of missed me to come back and now I wonder if I should act differently.

 

[El Payaso]

BE busy. Don't act busy.

 

[GADavid]

I'll expand on that...

Being busy is critical. First, women want a man with his own life. You have to invite her to be part of your fun. If you don't have that, what do you really offer? Second, faking it won't work. It's playing games which will blow up in your face sooner than later.

 

[buzzin_frog]

You should never try to only appear to be something.....that is being fake.....you should actually strive to become it!!

Just like these guys who pretend to be "the prize".....they aren't really a prize....they just live in a land of make believe and fantasy thinking that they are....kind of like believing that Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy are real people.....an overweight dude with no goals, job, or ambition is no prize when he steps out his front door.....no matter what he thinks!!

You should never just "appear" to be busy......you should already be busy improving yourself by doing things that will benefit you!!

There is always something that you can (and should) be doing to improve yourself as a man.....whether it's working out.....picking up new chicks....working on your game.....expanding your social circle....educating yourself......doing more at your job......working to get a better job......making more money....going out and enjoying life.....meting new people.....whatever.....sitting a home on the computer won't get the job done....you become lazy and brush off trying to make the most of yourself

Being a busy man will help you to become a better man.....you become a more interesting and knowledgeable man....then you won't have to "appear" to be busy.....and you will improve yourself all around

Instead of worrying about stupid sh!t (like some people do) or trying to get back old flames (which is lame).....your mind will be preoccupied on other things.....you will have a clear mind....gain confidence.....meet better people.....obtain better looking women....and most of all you will improve your own life!!

Go out and do something that will benefit yourself as a man.....you will be glad you did!!

 

[TheCWord]

I'll expand on that...

Being busy is critical. First, women want a man with his own life. You have to invite her to be part of your fun. If you don't have that, what do you really offer? Second, faking it won't work. It's playing games which will blow up in your face sooner than later.

I wouldn't mind hearing how everyone keeps busy. Particularly, socially - how are you guys meeting new people and expanding your social circle if you work during the day and need to do this stuff in the evenings?

 

[Yewki]

I think pretending to be busy is required to some degree. For example if she texts you and god forbid you happen to be chilling doing nothing, typically you shouldn't immediately respond. You're reading her text, you weren't doing anything... you could easily respond... but you can't. It's bad form, it shows you don't have much going on. Sometimes you need to pretend. Because on some level, no matter what, it is still a game.

 

[Thundernuts]

How important is it to be busy???

Let me give you a little backround info. I work on a farm. When im not in school(currently full-time) I'm studying or working on the weekends. I wake up at five in the morning just so i can drink coffee and and just have some time to myself to clear my head.

Man I have no time to myself whatsoever. I used to have all the freetime in the world until i became a farmer. I realised every second is a moment you can be making progress in some area of your life. You should always have something to do and if you dont, get a hobby, anything that will make it so women can talk to you.

If a man has all the time in the world for anything then he has nothing going for him. A man building a life for himself has no time for games.

My life changed after i realised this. Its easy for me to not txt women now because i really have something better to do than txt all day. I am busy. I make no time for bull**** and women know i waste no time, they know i will leave if they start playing games.

The problem with pretending to be busy is that eventually she is gonna find out that you are just lying. Fake it till you make it doesnt apply to things like this.

 

[Kbish828]

Yeah, just be busy. But if you are not busy, do not let yourself be too available. Play sports, reach out to friends, whatever just stay busy. You can only fake it for so long, then she will realize that you are boring. Plus if you actually are busy, it makes for a better dynamic in the relationship.

 

[2Bold 4SS]

Maybe SHE should act differently. Ever think of that?

You are the man. She is the woman. You have nothing to prove.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I'll expand on that...

Being busy is critical. First, women want a man with his own life. You have to invite her to be part of your fun. If you don't have that, what do you really offer? Second, faking it won't work. It's playing games which will blow up in your face sooner than later.

Ya and most guys don't really care if a woman has her own life

 

[adam225]

BE busy. Don't act busy.

Agreed. I'll also add - be honest, not false.

 

[Tomo]

I prefer being balanced. If you naturally have hobbies you enjoy, work life, educational life and on top of that a social circle to hangout with, you won't naturally reply instantly to her every message. Be 'random' - sometimes reply instantly, sometimes reply after a while if you are busy. There is no point acting it. I most prefer but to always leave her as the last person to reply so that either she invests and initiates conversation in the future or I can without seeming like I am the one always initiating i.e. natural flow of the conversation. Don't be afraid to not reply mid text conversation or if she asks a question too. Life is like that, you are excusable just as she is in saying that you forgot to or was busy.

 

[Yewki]

I prefer being balanced. If you naturally have hobbies you enjoy, work life, educational life and on top of that a social circle to hangout with, you won't naturally reply instantly to her every message.

Yes, but for the times you can instantly respond... you usually want to pretend you can't. The people saying you should always be busy so you never have to fake it are too idealistic.

 

[Mr Gyalist]

Hold on, if a woman is into you, being busy or not is irrelevant. Just make sure your not busy when she wants a good seening to..because at the end of the day, you wanna get laid...?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Hold on, if a woman is into you, being busy or not is irrelevant. Just make sure your not busy when she wants a good seening to..because at the end of the day, you wanna get laid...?

Ya that makes sense

 

[3agle 3yes]

Being busy is only for OUR OWN benefit...not hers.

This only comes when we realise women are not the most important things in our lives.

Hold on, if a woman is into you, being busy or not is irrelevant. Just make sure your not busy when she wants a good seening to..because at the end of the day, you wanna get laid...?

This is totally the wrong type of mindset.

What would most guys here do if one of the girls they were seeing called them up in the middle of the night mentioning they were naked in their bed and they wanted you to come over?

Would you come over? If you would then you are her slave...and she will get tired of you before you get tired of her.

Yes, everyone here wants to get laid, but you must get laid on YOUR terms NOT hers...

 

[SgtSplacker]

I always tell a girl i'm busy if I want to, even if i'm just gonna chill at home. Way I see it, my value raises and she doesn't get butthurt that i'm not going to see her.

I understand the intention of being honest and all. But if you have a couple girls you hang out with and you just feel like relaxing one night. I'm not going to go through the whole explanation over and over just to have her assume it's something with her. Then they stop calling because I rejected her. On and on

I'm just gonna stay home tonight.
Why
Meh, just feel like it.
C'mon just hang out
Nah think i'm gonna chill...
Are you feeling ok?
Yeah...
Are you mad at me?
Nope...
Are you sure you're not mad at me?
Yeah, just tired.
I'll treat tonight!
I have money I just don't feel like doing anything...
<<now she's just trying to see if i'm mad at her>>
Lets do something tomorrow then.
<<I hate planning ****, I hate committing to going out before hand>>
Sure what are you thinking.
<<now i'm committed to do something neither of us want to do to feed her ego>>
bla
bla
bla

If I tell her i'm busy and make something up it ends right there. Excuse accepted, done.

 

[bukowski_merit]

It's not as important as some would have you believe. If a woman likes you - she likes you. She's not going to dislike you because you're not doing anything on a Thursday night.

The bigger issue is: being too available to a particular woman. Either through actually hanging out, or text messaging, or whatever... [This is especially important early on. ]

Being too available to her often leads to boredom with each other. You both feel it. It's like, "Ehhh this thing is dying. Look at these dumb conversations we're having now. Look at what we're doing when we hangout." < Telling sign you're too available to each other.

I see this as a much bigger problem on this board than being busy or not. They are loosely connected of course, because if you're busy - you won't be overly available to her. But you don't have to be busy to not be available to her.

-----

I've seen dudes on here say a girl would hit them up like "what are you going tonight, do you want to hangout?" and those dudes would be doing absolutely nothing. But instead of saying "sure, come over about 10 and bring some wine with you." - they'd act like they were busy! Then they'd sit home and do nothing all night. < The only way this is acceptable is if you really don't feel like hanging out with anyone (i do this occasionally); or you have a herpes outbreak. It's not acceptable as a tactic. It's silly as a tactic.

If you're like this example above: You're taking this too sh!t serious and too literal.

 

[Yewki]

It's not as important as some would have you believe. If a woman likes you - she likes you. She's not going to dislike you because you're not doing anything on a Thursday night.

The bigger issue is: being too available to a particular woman. Either through actually hanging out, or text messaging, or whatever... [This is especially important early on. ]

I agree with your second paragraph completely, but the first one is out of place and generally contradicts what you said. If a woman likes you, and on that Thursday night where you're doing nothing you act like you have no life by texting her and responding to everything she says instantly all night... surprise surprise, she'll probably like you less. The whole first paragraph with the "if a woman likes you - she likes you" so appearing busy is "not as important as some would have you believe" is... just silly. It's like two different people wrote what I quoted, I don't think you meant to write it like that or something.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I agree with your second paragraph completely, but the first one is out of place and generally contradicts what you said. If a woman likes you, and on that Thursday night where you're doing nothing you act like you have no life by texting her and responding to everything she says instantly all night... surprise surprise, she'll probably like you less. The whole first paragraph with the "if a woman likes you - she likes you" so appearing busy is "not as important as some would have you believe" is... just silly. It's like two different people wrote what I quoted, I don't think you meant to write it like that or something.

Ok, let me clarify....


If it's just Thursday night - it'll be fine.

If it's:
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Etc

That's overkill.
That's what I mean by being too available.



Responding to a few of her texts instantly is nothing.

Responding to all or most of her texts instantly and/or always keeping the contact going - is bad. Not only is it bad, but it's boring.