How important is experience really?

[ItsOnNow]

I halfway know the answer to that,but what about someone who feels inexpereinced or behind? Mostly with dating,sex,social things. My problem seems to be,for some reason or another,I either can't talk to girls,whether its approaching/attracting,or just going up and talking to them,or having them miraculolusly coming to you. For someone who feels average,I would have to work twice as hard,yet for feeling as I have been out of things for so long,I feel like I am behind,have alot of catching up to do,and for that reason,that may scare people off,or no one would want to be with me. I do have some symptoms of love shy,which can be read about here,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness, if you haven't already. Or perhaps it is late bloomerness,or lazyness.

 

[canadianmetalhead]

i read this somewhere...maybe here but i cant remember

"whens the best time to plant a tree?"

"30 years ago."

"when is the next best time"

"NOW!"

i know what its like to feel behind, i think most people here do, but the more you wait the harder it will get, so just go out there and do it!

 

[ezily]

There seems to be a lot of criteria associated with being love-shy. You should read over it carefully. Plus I don't think this "mental problem" is recognized as legitimate right now. It looks to me like a combination of other mood and anxiety disorders that contribute to being so called "love-shy".

It seems to me like you have fears. Every guy does. Even guys who approach random girls all the time still get nervous some. It's normal. Just don't let your anxiety get to you. You really need to just change your mental attitude. If you don't do that then all the experience in the world won't help.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I've learned a lot more about how to game from experience than I did with a book. The books help but it was really going out there and making my mistakes that has made me more confident. Just make mistakes, your first approach or interaction doesn't need to be perfect. In the past year I've experienced many humiliations that made me want to disappear off the face of the earth, but ultimately it helped me.

 

[Mistic]

There is no substitute for experience. This is true for everything in life. Truth is experiential, not intellectual. The great thing about experience is that it is available to everyone. But it is something you must earn. No one can give it to you. And this is why you will cherish it.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Stop making excuses, your looking for an excuse.

No matter how far behind you are, if you go out and approach you'll have way more experience then the average man.

At one point I did 150 sets in less than a week. I was seeing sh!t that I never saw before. It's insane! Some people don't even talk to 150 sets in 5 years.

There is a way to get rid of AA. I currently have no AA but I really spent time on my identity.

 

[DonGorgon]

experience breads confidence which increases success.

 

[SharinganUser]

Doesn't matter if you get 10 in a row, or if you get 10 and rejected by 9. Either way, a 10/19 record is better than a 0/0 record. You have to start somewhere.

 

[Master Bates]

experience breads confidence which increases success.

white confidence or whole wheat?

 

[canadianmetalhead]

white confidence or whole wheat?

haha

.....ha.

 

[SharinganUser]

experience breads confidence which increases success.

Negative experiences can breed insecurity which decrease success.

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's the thing,I work a retail job,So customer service is a big part of it,and I approach people all day,and I have no issue with it,yet outside of it,I am like mentally blocked. I have worked there for 3 years,and can't put two and tow together,yet here are these 18,19 year old guys meeting random chicks at parades,bars,parties,etc,and getting exactly what they want.Maybe its lifestyle,i wake up,go to work,then come home.and on days off,i mull about.Course,that has been a bad habit for me for some time. It may be inferiority feelings.

 

[SharinganUser]

That's the thing,I work a retail job,So customer service is a big part of it,and I approach people all day,and I have no issue with it,yet outside of it,I am like mentally blocked. I have worked there for 3 years,and can't put two and tow together,yet here are these 18,19 year old guys meeting random chicks at parades,bars,parties,etc,and getting exactly what they want.Maybe its lifestyle,i wake up,go to work,then come home.and on days off,i mull about.Course,that has been a bad habit for me for some time. It may be inferiority feelings.

Ok, that explains the problem. You need to start doing stuff after work and on weekends. Go out, get a hobby, go to the gym, ectt... anything that makes you feel like you aren't mulling about.

Also stop comparing yourself to 18 & 19 year old punks.

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's another problem,I can't bring myself to do it. I can't find the energy too,and I feel like I am so behind.

 

[HarlequinMan]

That's another problem,I can't bring myself to do it. I can't find the energy too,and I feel like I am so behind.

come on man....everybodys got free time....unless you sleep 15 hours a day or work 3 jobs....

we can only show you the door, your the one who has to walk through it