How important is EC?

[Just a Shot Away]

I still have big problems making EC with people, especially girls. Just going into restaurants, walking down the street, school, parties etc. If I'm actually engaged with someone (as in a cashier at a store or one of my customers) it's not a problem, it's more just strangers that I'm not going to talk to. Pretty sure this is mainly a self-esteem/confidence issue. Also subconsciously I don't want to give hot women the satisfaction of looking at them because I know it will just add to their ego and validate that all guys want to bang them.

Anyway, I'm wondering if there's any way I can get over this and just basic EC tips. My instinct is to look away if I catch the eye of anybody (guys too, but mainly girls), and if I hot chick catches me looking at her I'll do my best to vacate the premises immediately and if that's not possible, I just instinctively try to play it off and make sure that it doesn't happen again. If I try to "beat" her and make her look away first, I know I come across as creepy and it doesn't feel right. Also I have a really tough time smiling so I'm also likely sending the message that I'm not a fun or happy person, and therefore am not a person she'd like to get plowed by. Ugh, any ideas about what I can do about this?

 

[slaog]

Its important. Like you said it shows confidence and high self esteems etc. As well as practising that and smiling be aware of your whole body language. Most communication is done through body language. Words matter less.

Pretty sure this is mainly a self-esteem/confidence issue. Also subconsciously I don't want to give hot women the satisfaction of looking at them because I know it will just add to their ego and validate that all guys want to bang them.

Why care about their egos? Just concentrate on themselves. Most guys probably don't make eye contact with hot women so when it does happen it tells those women that the man is confident. Most of the time women too would probably look away due to shyness but if the woman didn't look away it gives you more confidence too.


DJ's are not afraid to show women they are attracted to them. AFC's usually are and act like friends and end up in the friendzone. Show women you are attracted to them. Nobody thinks you want to marry them if they're being checked out.

 

[Allurre]

Next time you see a girl, don't just establish eye contact, ATTACK your fears and SMILE.

It's a totally different vibe you generate when you couple the two. Women will be more responsive and open to your approach there after.

Start practicing until it becomes habitual, and it won't ever be an issue for you again.

 

[Groovy]

There are some really hot girls that NEVER look me in the eye (They used to try but then I made them look back, even tho I was really insecure in my EC) and now they don't even look at me in the eye anymore... They just DAZE all around the place, never make EC for more then one second. But mainly the ugly girls ALWAYS seem to get the better side of it, lmao, I NEVER can look in the eye for long enough, it just feels VERY creepy. I just look at them in the eye when they are talking to me, and then they stop talking, and I expect for them to look away, but they DON'T, so what is supposed to happenthen ? If I don't look awy i'm afraid there is going to be a un natural stare between us or something like that, and somehow I am going to look wierd. That's how it seems to me... Should I really not break it even tho it seems creepy?! What do you guys think? Should I NEVER EVER break eye contact first, especially with a random chick?

 

[ENIGMA16]

When you're walking out in public and look at someone and notice they're looking at you don't look away until they do first. If they don't look away, then smile and maybe even say hello. Do this with everyone: guys, girls, old people, young people, etc...

Not only does it help you get over your problems with eye contact, but it also builds confidence in yourself and displays to others that you are confident and comfortable with yourself.

I did it non stop for a week or two and now it's simply habit for me; I do it without thinking now. Now to me it seems downright rude not to acknowledge someone else's presence and pretend as if they don't exist (which is essentially what you're doing when you refuse to look in someone's eyes or when you look away right away and don't acknowledge their presence).

Also, with regards to attractive women, most guys are afraid of attractive women and will not look them in the eye, or they will look away when she looks at them and pretend they don't notice her. When you look an attractive girl in the eyes, smile and say hello, you are acknowledging her presence and showing her that you are friendly, open, comfortable and ultimately not intimidated by her presence, which will make you stand out from all the other men that are intimidated by her.

I just look at them in the eye when they are talking to me, and then they stop talking, and I expect for them to look away, but they DON'T, so what is supposed to happenthen ?

What do you mean? Like a break in the conversation?

 

[The Piano Master]

... if I hot chick catches me looking at her I'll do my best to vacate the premises immediately

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[kingxxxman]

i have a bad habit of doing a double take. i make eye contact for like 5 seconds with a hb and then i look away before she does.. then being frustrated with myself, i look back.... if i keep on looking at her and making EC across the room cuz i don't want to be the first to break it off, wouldn't it just be a staring contest?

 

[Falcon25]

I would help you out with your anxiety issues but you're suck a fucvking ****suvker that I don't think you deserve it.

 

[kingxxxman]

hows this guy have like 500 posts yet can't establish EC?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Your anxiety issues and immoral behavior are deeply rooted within you. You have ego issues, from what I don't know but you do. You're unable to take advice from people without it attacking your ego. This is why you can't have discussions and you preach. With a discussion, it opens up the possibility that you are wrong, preaching however is purely one way and very ego friendly.

This is why you don't have friends or women in your life. You need to open up the channels of communication and in order to do that, you have to risk a part of yourself. It's the cost of making relationships.

The only way to really solve your anxiety issues is self reflection, and inevitable acceptance. Maybe some therapy if it's really bad.

Solve the root of the problem and you will feel good instead of broken inside. Simply applying some rules like "eye contact" and "just smile" are a temporary solution. People who feel good about themselves smile and usually keep eye contact.

 

[EA Gold]

Pretend shes your sister, mom or a small baby.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Pretend shes your sister, mom or a small baby.

This is okay, but why not do this: Know that you are the PRIZE! As Pook said, "Think and you shall become!" Think, "She should appreciate I am noticing her beauty, and at the same time know she can use that for her advantage, but I am the prize and that can't happen to me because I will not let her." That right there should be enough power where looking at somebody in their eyes should not constitute a problem.