Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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how far are you willing to travel for a girl you like?

HappyHarryHardon

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so obviously people meet girls all over the city. some far from where you live some close. how far are you willing to travel for a girl? for me i have to catch trains and buses but i just met a really sweet girl who im seeing next week. she lives about an hour away or less by train but we decided to meet in the city. have you guys had any experience with girls that live out of your town? does it affect anything?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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OnTheWayUp

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I'm going through exactly this issue at the moment, so I feel you man. Check out my latest thread if you want a comparison.

The advice given to me was to keep a level head and keep the "relationship" (for want of a better word) casual. More involved LDRs are very challenging, even for the most experienced of DJs. Seeing each other casually once a month or so is fine. Texting or otherwise emotionally investing in the relationship every day is going to cause problems.

Remember also that, although this girl is obviously pretty cool, there will be others like her where you live, some of who might be even better looking or have an even more interesting personality. Don't fall into the trap that many posters on here have suffered from of putting all your eggs in one basket (and one which is a long way away at that). Keep seeing other girls.
 

HappyHarryHardon

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oh i am bro. i've had two dates this week. one was friday, and the other was saturday and then i met the girl i spoke about above. i'm trying to keep myself busy with other women but it's not as easy for me as it is with other guys. i don't drink and smoke or go out partying and more than half the girls my age in this era do just that. infact, the girl i just saw today was one of those party girls. i've found it very hard to meet a nice girl who i get along with and share the same interests. my friday date was very good though, she doesn't really do the whole party thing and she's very sweet and kind. seeing her next saturday for a movie. on top of that, the girl i met today (the one i spoke about above) seems to be very sweet too (im guessing she's also a virgin because she has only been here for 2 months from vietnam - and asian girls are different) - meeting her next weekend as well. she even texted me five minutes after we met saying she hopes to see me again soon :)

i'm keeping it cool with both. still trying to meet other girls but it's not easy :(
 

OnTheWayUp

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Good stuff, glad you're seeing other girls. It sounds like your situation is very similar to mine: we both like girls who live a few hours away from us, and neither of us drink or smoke. I only really started going out at all when I discovered SS last October- solely to try and find more girls to date. It has made my dating life considerably easier, and I'm starting to enjoy going out just for the sake of going out and having a good time in itself.

Out of interest and on a bit of a tangent, why don't you go out, drink, or smoke? How do you meet the girls you date?
 

HappyHarryHardon

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i really don't know.. ive just never liked smoking or drinking ever. don't get me wrong but when i was in my teens (i am 26) i would drink often and have wild parties every weekend with my house mates but i seriously got over it quickly. like maybe half a year of doing that. smoking, well... i just never got into the whole smoking thing ;) i am a healthy person myself and don't wanna get into that. it's possible that where i use to live (before i moved) with my brother and father, who always had parties at home, a lot of alcohol and smoking, some drugs were involved. that happened for many years and it could be that i just saw what could happen to me if i did it. either way, i enjoy my life without alcohol or drugs etc.

so the last few years i've not been out much. even if i do go out to a bar or club, i know that i will not find a girl i like in those places. it would be very slim if i did. believe me, i been to enough clubs and bars to know what kind of girls go there.

the girls i've met lately have been from online dating websites and some just out in public who i chatted up like yesterday. that was a pretty random and unexpected fish i caught. while she may not be beautiful to most men, in my eyes she was. i tend to go for the shy girls who don't stand out in a crowd and like to show off. to me, those girls are the ones i get along with more. i like being at home too and have some gaming, watching movies. bit of a nerd but don't really look like one. some say i look intimidating cause i have a buzz cut and a stubble all the time. so because of my lifestyle it's a little harder for me to find a girl because this day and age, almost every young girl/woman likes to have some drinks, get drunk and party. but i still love to go out! coffee shops, window shopping, walking around the city, beach walking, movies, anything that doesn't involve alcohol/drunk people :p

so yeah, that's basically me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Maximus Rex

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I live in NYC and I don't have a car. The farthest I'm willing to go is maybe, Yonkers or Newark.
 
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