How does one train oneself to be more self disciplined?

[rocco]

I feel as though, I am sometimes too "emo" and it is unhealthy. In other words, I feel as though I am disclosing too much personal information about myself publicly (primarily on online sites) about myself that can be potentially embarrassing. How can I release angst in a more healthy way, without doing it in a way that is disclosing information that may get into the hands of bad people that might use my personal information against me?

How do I self discipline myself to not disclose so much personal information, without just letting it keep bottled up inside?

If there are any advice on how to be more self-disciplined in living a private life, it would be great to know though. I know that there are official training methods to learn more self-discipline in doing such things, because in certain professions this is requirement that they probably train for, like people who train to become a CIA agent.

I know that I am kinda answering this question myself a little by saying that, maybe If I were more anonymous online, maybe if i wrote more in a private blog, or maybe if i chose only a very few select trustworthy close friends to diisclose private matters to that are bothering me, then maybe this would be a more healthy way of releasing angst. but are there any other suggestions?

 

[Warrior74]

Find a good friend or therapist to talk to? Just a thought. It's up to you what you disclose online. Maybe write out your profile in Word, and then sleep on it before you post it. That gives you time to look over it with new eyes.

 

[Mr. Me]

You mean that even though you're shooting yourself in the foot by opening up your mouth, that's not enough incentive to keep your cards close to your chest?

That's just a bad habit. You can change habits.

Is it really about "releasing angst" for you? Maybe you need to learn how to not create angst in the first place instead of manufacturing more and more of it and continually feel a need to vent it.

But if you do have to vent it, you can scream in the shower or punch your pillow. You don't have to involve others.

Maybe it's about being heard instead? About feeling viable, not invisible? But then you'd have to wonder, why do I have this need anyway? What does spilling my guts and secrets to another person have to do with my value as a human being? How can they validate me if they can't probably validate themselves?

I think once you get that it's all smoke and mirrors, you get to a point that frees you from that mind set and you will say: "This sure works better for me. WTF was I thinking before?"

Sounds like you took the first steps toward that in acknowledging you don't want to do it anymore.

 

[sodbuster]

your need to "vent" was probably instilled in you by a woman-they all need to vent to everyone who will listen. A MAN has a close friend or 2 he can talk to and use as a sounding board-that's it.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Would the High Plains Drifter vomit his emotions all over the place?

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

It's easy to screw up, I did it just today - I mentioned problems with my son in front of coworkers - I was kicking myself the rest of the day..."should not have done that...I made myself look like an ass...."

A proposed solution: Back in the day I had a really cool uncle who was a very successful lawyer, divorced in his 50s and dating a 28 year old. No matter the scenario he was always calm and collected and he very rarely if ever got emotional. It was as though he had ice in his veins; and it played out in his career and in his personal life. Every morning he ran 5-7 miles before he went to work. I realized that was his secret to his calmness, and his seemingly calculating demeanor at all times. I've been injured lately but I try to hit the gym and wear myself out physically every chance I get. This week I haven't been able to get out..the result is my faux pas noted above.

 

[SXS]

How do I self discipline myself to not disclose so much personal information, without just letting it keep bottled up inside?

Have a few, close friends, that you can trust.

But you also must learn not to be anxious over personal things. Some things should be for you to know only.

 

[guru1000]

Live by the Rule and understanding that every time you CHOOSE to disclose personal info, you are GIVING someone else the ability to use that information against you. You are in essence giving away your power.

Stay unknown, and you will ALWAYS remain in a position of strength.

 

[mrRuckus]

i've been learning not to tell stories from college. No one cares it was 10 years ago and you're not a fvcking idiot like when you were 20.

Oops did i just reveal too much personal info?


I was out with a girl last week and she told me a couple stories and i didn't understand why she thought it'd be okay to tell me. It was like she had no idea that they made her look terrible. "one time i made out with a guy in the back seat of my ex's car and he was driving and didn't notice. We got back together later." It was like she was proud of it.

 

[horaholic]

Girls seem to think that what they did in the past doesnt matter. They expect 'men' to look past it. I dated a chick once, who never gave head, but one morning, she broke out her highschool yearbook, and while she was flipping through it, she pointed at some dude, and said "thats the guy I gave my first blowj0b to."...But I was the a$$hole for getting up and leaving.