You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
thedeparted said:Whenever I see guys trying to fix things by doing whatever their woman says needs to be done, I think, "Uh Oh."
Yeah, you might be able to save this with good sex. BUT those words are red flags. Start to distance yourself and create other options. She has ALREADY done that, trust me. And you don't want to get run over by a train you didn't see coming.
"If the relationship is 50/50, it means she owns your balls." -Zarathustra_fiGoldVault505 said:I don't think that this is a good way to think. A loving relationship is a loving relationship. Relationships work through compromise.
Wrong. Thedeparted is absolutely correct on this one, if for no other reason than the OP is taking her relationship advice seriously.GoldVault505 said:The fact is that she probably HASN'T considered other options yet, but neglecting her real needs based on a cult of machoism will guarantee that she pursues other options.
just because women are more emotional than men doesn't mean they totally LACK the means to be logicalabcd_z said:If you're having a logical discussion with a woman about your relationship, you've screwed up somewhere.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Yep, when she's making those kinds of remarks about how you need to learn to "please" her, it's probably done.thedeparted said:Whenever I see guys trying to fix things by doing whatever their woman says needs to be done, I think, "Uh Oh."
Yeah, you might be able to save this with good sex. BUT those words are red flags. Start to distance yourself and create other options. She has ALREADY done that, trust me. And you don't want to get run over by a train you didn't see coming.
Focus more on the foreplay and her pleasure rather than focussing on getting yourself off. If you actually make an effort to turn her on before sex, she'll create the emotional connection. Women generally take a bit longer to 'warm up' than men do. They need to feel like they're wanted, loved, and sexy. Telling a woman she looks sexy does not make her feel sexy. You need to actually turn her on to make her feel sexy.how do I changed that into passionate romantic sex tht women crave.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
dmatter said:. so uhh how do I changed that into passionate romantic sex tht women crave.
This post is the real deal. Just the first sentence alone tells you all you need to know. Girls will rationalize any BS you dish out to them if they just "feel it" for you on a gut level. How many chics take all kinds of crap from their boyfriends then will sit there and tell you that you don't understand him like she does.abcd_z said:Except, if a woman is attracted to you, she'll find any BS reason to feel that "romantic connection," and if she's not, nothing you can do will change it. Focus instead on rebuilding attraction in the relationship through the following:Although if you really had the first one down, I doubt you'd be posting here in the first place.
- Non-neediness/non-reactivity
- Social Value
- Attainability (I guarantee yours is too high right now.)
- Emotional Stimulation
- Frame Control