How do you truly be the better man?

[ItsOnNow]

values? confidence? respect? power? money? What is the key? Is it popularity of sorts? Looks?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just one thing, don't be like everyone else.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I always make sure not too. I always thought of myself as different. But how do you make it work?

 

[Mavrick]

What you should be asking is how to be happy. Who cares if you're a better man. Not everyone will agree that you're a better man. It's only what you think and feel that matters. I'm not saying be selfish because other's feelings are important.

You have to find your own happiness. Confidence comes from within. You have to find it in yourself. You have to know what makes you so great. I've found that if you offer something like a good time or good experience to others instead of looking for it yourself, people will appreciate you so much.

Become a facilitator, become a leader, become that person that will offer others the validation they want, and stop seeking it for yourself. This is what people like in a person. It's really true that confidence makes all the difference. By confidence, I'm saying that you have to believe in yourself and your abilities.

To be a better man, you cannot let other people tell you who you are and you cannot let others have control over your emotions. People respond to a person who knows who he is a lot better than a person who seems week minded.

Find who you are, what you are, and offer your value. Don't try to get it from anyone, but have it already. Why? Because you deserve it.

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's just it,I am generally not happy. Like all around feeling good happy,no.

I try to be considerate of others. So that's not a problem. Actually,after having read stuff on this site,I am really not as validation seeking as I was before. I think I have always struggled to fit in and feel connected,but no more validation seeking. My problem I think is something else.

Money does equal power,we have all heard that before. That is part of my concern,but for many reasons.

I make sure to be in charge of my emotions. I try not to let others control me. But I know I come off as spaced out sometimes.

 

[Snow Plowman]

In a party situation, be the tallest and strongest.

In life in general, make the most money/have the most power.

Everything else is worthless.

Seriously man don't comment if your just going to post BS

To become a better man you need to truly know who you are and what you value. I'm talking your deep core, for instance take me...

I know what I consider the good life, I know my passions, I know what I will and will not accept, I know what I value in women, I know how I want my life to be lived...you get the point...

 

[ItsOnNow]

Well,what if you have never really known? Or perhaps didn't care? Or just wanted to well,get laid,and not care about everything else?

 

[Mr.Positive]

To become a better man you need to truly know who you are and what you value. I'm talking your deep core, for instance take me...

I know what I consider the good life, I know my passions, I know what I will and will not accept, I know what I value in women, I know how I want my life to be lived...you get the point...

Great post! To add, the fact that you are asking how to become a better man, tells me you are ahead of most guys anyway. The reason, you are looking improve yourself.

A lot of people fill themselves up with self-pity. Self-pity is for women, let them claim victimhood!! Not us.

The key to being a better man, for me, is challenge. I pick tough goals and achievements, and I expect more out of myself, than a lot of people do. But I get better too, and I achieve the goals I set for myself.

To truly become the best man you can be, you need to know yourself, and go for the things you want out of life.

You can achieve anything you put the effort into. That's how you become the best man you can be, IMO.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Self Pity has been a problem for me. I feel as though I have put little effort into what I want. That has always bugged me.

 

[KontrollerX]

Easy.

You become the best person you can be and do what you really want to do irregardless of peer pressure, family pressure or societal pressure.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Lazyness has been a pain for me. And,I can't get over all this time that has gone bye. It pains me.

 

[SinJester]

Everyone has their own version of what a 'real man' is. Things like power and respect are illusions, they don't actually exist, they are based on other peoples perceptions. Do you really want your worth as a man based on other people? Also, with those things they are hard to get directly, sometimes the harder you try the further away they are.

A real man does everything in his life with compassion, conviction and most of all confidence. That's it. In whatever you do, believe in it and do it with an unshakeable confidence. Have the stronger reality. If you do this some of the things you listed will probably come naturally.

And don't complain about lazyness. That in itself is being lazy. Don't regret it, it's been. Just act now.

 

[PRMoon]

A real man can wake up in the morning, and look in the mirror. When they do they don't feel shame, sadness, anger, or impudance. When a real man looks at himself in the mirror, he stands in the awe of the greatness that looks back at him and is amazed to no end.

 

[ItsOnNow]

No,I don't my own worth based on what others think of me. I never thought of it that way anyways. I don't think I have that unshakeable confidence,that may come from different things. I am often not happy when I look in the mirror.

 

[MooseGod]

Lazyness has been a pain for me. And,I can't get over all this time that has gone bye. It pains me.

I'm actually reading a book right now by Marc Allen called The Type Z Guide to Success: A Lazy Person's Manifesto for Wealth and Fulfillment. Interesting read...you should check it out.


But you don't have to take my word for it. *cues Reading Rainbow music*

 

[Mavrick]

No,I don't my own worth based on what others think of me. I never thought of it that way anyways. I don't think I have that unshakeable confidence,that may come from different things. I am often not happy when I look in the mirror.

I'll tell you that no one can give you what your looking for here. We're giving you some good tips, but it's your choice to take them and use them. Being a happy person is a choice. No one can make you happy.

You have to start by at least giving yourself with some positives. If you KEEP ON telling yourself you're not happy, you will always be unhappy. Whatever you tell yourself is what you'll be.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Self Pity has been a problem for me. I feel as though I have put little effort into what I want. That has always bugged me.

Me thinks you've been trying so hard to be liked that you've forgone what makes you happy. Have you even considered what you could do for yoruself that would make you happy?

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

girls don't want the better man. most of them wind up with the worse man. the man that has nada going for him.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

girls don't want the better man. most of them wind up with the worse man. the man that has nada going for him.

Ask the women with these guys if they'd rather be with a better guy and they'll ask you to find them one. These women are just choosing the lesser of two evils typically the nice guy or the bad boy. Sure, the bad boy may end up treating them like crap it is still much more exciting than a typical, boring nice guy. Someone said in another thread that they felt sorry for women today because of the lack of quality men who are available; ironic isn't it?

 

[Sir I]

skip the being a better man, focus on the be happy about your life part, it all comes eventually down to being generally happy and enjoying your life, ofcourse some people have certain advantages.. for one it's looks, for another it might be power, for another it might be money, but all of them have to be completley balanced to make the person better...