"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How do you tell she prefers aggressive types or relatively shy types

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There isnt any such thing as a shy confident person. I think you mean the strong silent type. If you're shy then its for a reason and that reason is probaly lack of confidence.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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gherald

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iqqi said:
I like shy guys. Especially if they also seem confident. An intriguing paradox.
how can that be? LOL'ed.

maybe you're just a silent type of person.
 

Don Juanabbe

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I have used the shy guy act to quite good effect in my repertoire. Don't underestimate its usefulness. Well, its not necessarily shy to the point of being weak, just a sort of aloofness.

It really works well in settings where there a loads of aggressive type guys, but in order to use it well, you need to be halfway decent looking and/or different with your own sense of style that stands out.

In fact my best all round game situation is to be around more aggressive type guys, because then it gets the females wondering about you once they do notice you. The trick is to get noticed without looking like you are trying to get noticed.

That really starts the gears going in their heads. Yes, a very effective tool.

I've slept with many a bartender chick by being different and NOT hitting on her.
 

NickSCFC2000

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I'm only talking about ATTRACTIVE women here

The young ones (18-25), they like the skinny guy. Not to say he's a complete weed who gets bullied.

The older ones (26-35), they like the big muscular guy with a shaved head.
 

iqqi

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Nighthawk said:
If like iqqi, you aren't confident around other people, your 'self-confidence' (is there any other kind?) is low. Other people, who can handle or excel in social situations have more confidence than you.
Lol, this is so not true. I thought about it for a moment, and nope.

I have a friend, she is fvcking amazing around ppl. In every sense, I'd hire her to host my own party before I would do it myself. She's funny, always talking to random people, she can talk to ANYONE about anything without any warm ups! She laughs alot, and has it all down, she is a little social butterfly.

HOWEVER...She is one of the most unconfident people I know! She has ridiculously low self esteem.

She is constantly coming to me for advice and even simple instructions! On how to be. This is due to my self confidence.

On the other hand, ppl who know me, tend to "catch" me being shy, and are completely surprised... then charmed, to find this out.

Shy doesn't mean that you are AFRAID of ppl, or that you think YOU suck.

Timid, you may be, around ppl, but it doesn't always have to do with fear or self loathing/lack of self confidence. Just because you recognize a weakness doesn't make you NOT confident.

With shy people, their "weakness" is in regards to people they don't know. I honestly don't even know if I'd consider it a weakness.

I don't think other people are going to (or already do) think less of me, or that there is something wrong with me. As a matter of fact I know if I DO start talking or get to know a stranger, they will love me.

But I don't like talking to random people about random sh!t. This makes me shy away from strangers, or from drawing attention to myself. See how the two go together, and still leave out the whole "low self confidence" label?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ketostix

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God I'd hate to agree with iqqi but a person can be outgoing but not be self-confident (Actually a lot of outgoing people aren't really self-confident). And a person can be not out-going (shy)and have high self-confidence. I can't believe a girl like iqqi would understand this but I don't think iqqi is a girl anyway.
 

Interceptor

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LOL.
I still like Alanis.
The "Uninvited" song is a great song. She has some good stuff.
"Thank You"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1WJlxjxAZE


I think she's very interesting. She does seem to be a little too serious sometimes, but you can tell she has a sense of humor.
Have you ever seen the "Dogma" movie in its entirety?
Great film. You should check it out.


Anyway, since you're like......God, and all......
What do you say you send me a million bucks?:p

Thanks, Iq....I mean God.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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