how do you take control of a relationship?

[vagrant]

i got this from askmen.com...this might be common sense for some of you but i just really cannot make up my mind...how true is this in a serious relationship?

5- Thou shalt wear the pants in the relationship
Don't lose the control that you struggled so hard to achieve. Come out of the gate strong and stay that way. Once you let her have the reigns, believe me, it's all downhill...

 

[So pimp its scary]

100% true.

This is so true, it's not even funny.

It can't be stressed enough that you must maintain the control in the relationship... it doesn't mean that you can't let a girl do what she wants ever, but even then it's gotta be on your terms.

 

[djSlvt]

Lack of control, is often means 50/50. AFC mentality, women and men have equal power in a relationship. A divorce is 50/50.

 

[Raikojo17]

^^^focusing on sh1t like this is the reason most of you guys are single.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

^^^focusing on sh1t like this is the reason most of you guys are single.

I think we're on the same page on this. Care to expound on what you're saying?

 

[violator]

Remember, the one who cares less about the relationship is the one who is fully in control. The way I see it, you must always be willing to walk away from a girl for whatever reason. If you maintain that attitude, then you are in control.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Best way to control a relationship is to show less interest than your partner, they'll let you take control over them to get approval.

****ty way of doing things, but gotta protect your heart 1st eh.

 

[Raikojo17]

I think we're on the same page on this. Care to expound on what you're saying?

this thread is just not productive, Fransico. Just another on of those, how can I be more alpha and beat my chest threads.

what kind of question is "how do you take control in a relatioship?"? guys have this mentality that relationship are all about power and control, about being this magnificent alpha ale who controls his woman like a puppet.. A TRUE relatioship is 50/50, give and take. not the man making the woman is b1tch.
relationship are supposed ot be about mutual trust and communication.

most guys on here are so focused on these dumb power games that they probably ruin most relatioships they start. they're worried about "how can i not come off as a chump and gain control over this?" instead of "how can i make the most of this and enjoy myself while she does the same?" or "how can i better this relationship?". thus the relationshipd turn to crap because they are only concerned about bein the controlling dominate alpha bf. which often drives the girl away as she is not satisfied and goes to the guy who will satisfy her, the man.

stop worrying about bein a chump, because if you're worrying about that then you are one. men dont worry about that. Men also dont seek to control others, only himself.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

50/50s never seem to last, the woman loses respect for the guy.

 

[Raikojo17]

50/50s never seem to last, the woman loses respect for the guy.

they last a whole lot longer than pimp/b1tch relationships

to gain respect, you have to give it. not demand it. if your tryin to control her all the time then she wont respect you. control stems off insecurities. you only want to control her because you're afraid of wat she might do if you dont.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

this thread is just not productive, Fransico. Just another on of those, how can I be more alpha and beat my chest threads....

That's what I thought. I feel the same way, "Trix are for kids."

I will give everyone something to consider about the 50/50 thing though. Me, being a greedy SOB, I won't consider being in a relationship where either one of us are only willing to give 50% of ourselves. In short, why shouldn't it be 100/100?

Of course 100% for one person will seldom equate to 100% of another but why should that matter if each person is genuinely giving it their all? Sure, their all may fluctuate but if they are truly giving their best, more times than not it will still be better than 50%.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

50/50s never seem to last, the woman loses respect for the guy.

Your turn, explain why you feel that a 50/50 split causes a woman to lose respect for the guy.

 

[fedagent]

My take on this statement of "taking control in a relationship" is really meant to be "don't lose yourself in the relationship". Remember, people are always an individual first before anything else.

I have no interest in controlling the person that I'm dating so much as controlling my happiness and status in the relationship.

I let my gf do whatever she wants, and I get the same treatment. If she does something I don't like, I tell her flat out. No good woman wants to be controlled, they want a leader to follow. Learn the difference and you'll be the better for it.

Fed

 

[So pimp its scary]

Woah Woah... I wasn't talking about maintaining control in the relationship as being a pimp/b!tch relationship as ideal...

I'm saying you have to remain a leader in the relationship... respect is a crucial part of leadership. Women will do what they can to try and shake that control, but the more you let them, the less they will respect you for it...

I also think that worrying and dwelling on this is very unproductive, it is important... and plus, in a '50/50' relationship.. the power is usually on the woman's side, cause the man will typically cave in to the woman's desires.