How do you stop yourself from calling her?

[Volpez]

I know what to do but I have one hell of a time doing it, this site did help me a ton and I was able to drop the AFC actions for a bit but they came back way to easy, I am a sucker for being nice and helping people, which is really what I enjoy most, helping people, protecting them, providing for them ect.

But this one girl I just have a hell of a time stoping my self from calling her. I know if I don't call her she will want to call me, I have managed to do that a few times over the years but it just seems harder and harder.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

S-p-i-n --- P-l-a-t-e-s

 

[Johnny_Kage]

You have to give us more background info on this girl. Have you been talking to this girl for years?

The answer to your problem is simple: self-control. You know what to do and you know what works (as you say in your post). So do it.

Helping people is fine. Just don't expect to get ass in return for your services . And of course, do C&F. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy with an edge (in fact, this is ideal).

- Kage

 

[sexy_kuta]

spin plates man, SPIN plates, it takes ur interest level and levels itself out among the girls(plates)
and also stay busy, it will influence your self control.

 

[Kidquick]

I saw someones sig recently that said something like :

You're a slave to anything you can't say 'No' too...

It stuck with me and definitely applies here, and I've been there myself plenty of times. Resist! :box:

 

[The Deacon]

You need to give us a little more background on this sort of thing. Contrary to the beliefs you've probably gotten beaten in your head through this website, it's not a bad idea to call a girl (assuming that you don't overdo it and look desperate). For most hot chicks, you always have to initiate crap. A hot girl isn't gonna sit around and wait for you to ask her on a date, another guy's probably gonna scoop her up if you just sit there and take no action.

I know if I don't call her she will want to call me

Do you know this for sure? Even if a girl gives you STRONG IOIs, it doesn't necessarily mean she's gonna call you. Especially not a girl with a lot of options. I'd suggest taking the more ballsy approach and try to take this girl out A.S.A.P. The whole "3 day rule" is ill-founded. Just cause you call her the first day after you meet her it doesn't mean you will, by default, look like you're a try-hard. You have to subcommunicate to her that she's just another option that you're thinking about.

I am a sucker for being nice and helping people, which is really what I enjoy most, helping people, protecting them, providing for them ect.

Agh, you know this really isn't a bad thing if you want women. There's a difference between a "nice guy" and a "great guy." A nice guy has no masculinity/sexuality, a "great guy" is a guy who's comfortable in his masculinity/sexuality and he's a genuinely good guy. You can protect and provide for people and not have it held against you, man. Women don't go for jerks because they're jerks, they go for them because they're attractive. attraction is not a choice.

Don't forfeit being a good guy to get p*ssy, cause that's just tacky. It screams incongruence which is largely unattractive. I promise it would backfire on you.

 

[Kev07]

Just don't do it

Stay busy, go kick it with friends or something.

If you don't have friends then go play world of warcraft.

 

[Volpez]

Well she is my Ex, she is not a hb10 and I was not attracted to her for about a year then one day it just clicked and I have been crazy about her for years, we went out for 2 years, broke up for a month because I was going all AFC on her, then broke up a few months ago pretty much for the same reason, we still hang out and she gets all dressed up when she comes over and she has spent the night.

Luckly I did just buy my own house and it's quite a nice bachler pad, big screen tv, surround sound, hard wood floors, bar, dart board, fireplace ect. Now I just need to get the balls to invite random girls over for partys.

 

[Obsidian]

i'm currently in the process of stopping myself from calling a hor who f*cked around with me a month ago. She started pulling this "we're just friends" crap out of no where, started talking about a new "boyfriend" out of state who she was talking to over the phone but hadn't actually met up with yet, and kinda flirted with my best friend, who was there

i played cool for a little while (like maybe an hour) to see if she's quit screwin' around, but then I just let her have it and nexted her

she's texted me a few times since then -- including last night -- and i'm having to keep myself from calling her back. Bah, the problems of being a real man.

 

[Kev07]

i'm currently in the process of stopping myself from calling a hor who f*cked around with me a month ago. She started pulling this "we're just friends" crap out of no where, started talking about a new "boyfriend" out of state who she was talking to over the phone but hadn't actually met up with yet, and kinda flirted with my best friend, who was there

i played cool for a little while (like maybe an hour) to see if she's quit screwin' around, but then I just let her have it and nexted her

she's texted me a few times since then -- including last night -- and i'm having to keep myself from calling her back. Bah, the problems of being a real man.

That has got to be the most ridiculous story I have ever read on this forum.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

i'm currently in the process of stopping myself from calling a hor who f*cked around with me a month ago. She started pulling this "we're just friends" crap out of no where, started talking about a new "boyfriend" out of state who she was talking to over the phone but hadn't actually met up with yet, and kinda flirted with my best friend, who was there

Holy sh!t this is the same stuff happening to me right now. My situation is a bit more complicated though.

 

[Obsidian]

hah, what's ridiculous is that i've actually been tempted to respond -- altho I haven't done so. She was fairly attractive, and really sweet up until that night. It was only the fourth time i'd met up with her, tho, so i guess it just took a short while for her character to emerge

 

[bukowski_merit]

i don't do a whole lot, so i don't have the luxury of staying busy
i do talk to 3-4 girls at any given time but that really doesn't stop me from wanting to focus and give time to a real hot one when she comes along

but it's just self control
i got a girl right now who's very easy on the eyes, in fact she models lingerie
easily sexier than the other 4 girls i talk to and lay on the regular
so i really want to talk to this girl and text her and email her and call her
but i know the result of that

so i just don't
and once you stop doing it for one girl
it becomes relatively easy to not do it with others

 

[Kev07]

i don't do a whole lot, so i don't have the luxury of staying busy

Should fix that.


anyways, lets turn this around for a sec,

What do you guys like to do when a girl calls/texts/IMs you every day?

I'm trying to give my girl the gift of missing me, but she always ends up just calling me everyday.

I'm not the type of person to purposely not pick up my phone, ****, I usually pick up even if i don't want to talk to the person, sometimes i pick up my phone without even looking at the caller ID. So far I just cut our conversation short and go do something else, but I feel like that still defeats the purpose of letting her miss me.

What bout you fellas?

 

[bukowski_merit]

Should fix that.

i work my 8 hours a day at a job where i typically only 'really work' 30 minutes a day
i have an ebay business that's pretty much on autopilot
i live in a townhouse and my landlord does all the yard work
i have a female roommate who does all of the house work
i don't play video games or watch tv (much)

so all of those 'don't have to do's' give me a crazy amount of freetime

so i workout (about 45 minutes a day)
read (mostly poetry from the beats who teach me more about women than anyone else)
write (i'm a music reviewer and poet)

and generally spend the rest of my time with whoever i'm hooking up with until they get to close to me and then i let them go

i don't see any reason to fill my time being busy... i don't have problems with women anymore except for letting them get close to me, but that's not an issue having a million hobbies is going to solve. i just have very good self control when it comes to things like not calling of contacting women. and that's all it takes... for me..

 

[Lord Shinra]

I usually call one of my male friends and talk to them for a couple of minutes. By the time I get off, I have no urge to call the girl.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Why don't you just go ahead and call her at every impulse to do so. Make her go get a restraining order against you, and make her hate your very guts, and fear you, and block your number, and change her number, and move to another city across the country just to get away from you.

And while you're at it, drive by her house several times a day, and go to her work and school, just so she knows you're thinking about her.

...then you'll have plenty to do....ruminating about what an ass you feel like, and regretting chasing her away, and still obsessing about her, even though she's long gone.

 

[Outsider]

Why do you want to call her? To talk? That's cool man, ask her how her mom is, that will get you totally laid.

 

[baurman]

This is the urge that I'm getting...

If I don't call this chick I'm talking too, then she won't come over. Possibly won't be getting laid tonight.

If I call her, I could at least invite her over and possibly GET laid tonight.

But I don't want to call her because I don't want to feel weak. I'm waiting for her to call me, and more than likely, she won't. What if she's waiting for me to call her? Ugh. I don't know what to do.

 

[Outsider]

By the way... this girl owns you and she ****in knows it too.