"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How do you stop forcing the convo?

trippychip

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Ok so theres this girl and i been on a few dates with her, and they went alright. But the thing is it seems niether of us can really open up with one another and it seems all forced. Like i met this girls best friend at the same time, and i have no problem calling her best friend on bull**** or teasing her or makin fun and im not quite sure why i cant open up with her. I was at her house yesterday with a friend of mine but i wasnt as smooth as i usually am. Anyway im taking her to this improv show tonight and was wondering if anyone has any ideas to break this barrier?

Thanks in advance
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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hopeful loner

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I would say it's all about being comfortable with this person...just being able to talk around her instead of "making" conversation. You need to share some experiences...go see a scary movie or something.
 

abcd_z

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Oh, I hate it when that happens. I've had a little experience with situations like that, and there's not a lot that can be done about it. One girl once said there was "just no chemistry" between the two of us.

This very same girl wound up sleeping with my roommate. Not cool.

I still don't know why him and not me, and for a while I would agonize over it. Now, I don't worry nearly as much. It didn't work, I'm okay with that. Not worth agonizing over.

Hmm, I sort of drifted on that topic. My point was, sometimes things just won't click for you. No biggie, just go out and have a fun time with somebody else. And if you can't do that, then maybe that's what you should be working on instead.
 

trippychip

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Well heres an update. So i went with her to that improv show and it was kinda the same problem. it was fun and we had a good time but i couldnt really let myself go like i do around other girls. Can you guys suggest why this happens?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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DJ_in_making

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DJ_in_making

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The same reason, many guys wouldn't have trouble talking to/ looking at/ complimenting a hideous girl, but would with an really hot girl.
Listen, just don't be afraid to be yourself, loosen up, don't think too hard when you're with her.
 

trippychip

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Its not even that shes super hot or that i like her too much, honestly it just didnt click right away. its wierd but it always goes better with other girls. This kind of thing is probably normal but its the first time its been like this.
 

blinkwatt

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BE A MASTER OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT. Use your surrounds for conversation starter. Sharing expierences are a great tip because you can chat/reinact about them later.
 
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