How do you stop fearing to offend when you say something?

[Aiken4000]

I have a problem. Somtimes I make a joke, ironize someone, say something and fear the other person will get offended by my comment. Not all the time, sometimes. I just HATE this, I would love to not give a **** about what the other person thinks, I need to kill this AFC part of me.

I need to get more jerk.

Are there any ideas of exercising this, so I'm more relaxed and don't care so much how the other receives what I say so I can express myself more freely?

I'm thinking that post about how to be a jerk of that man arrogantly saying to the mc donalds girl the floor is dirty.

Can anyone think of ideas similar to that? A program would be nice...
Thanks!

 

[Valdez]

This one is easy. If you make a joke, and the person gets offended, thats their problem and they need to lighten up. Simple as that. Don't bother worrying about things you shouldn't.

 

[flexion_]

Whats being a jerk going to accomplish other than causing people to think you are a jerk?

You can make funny jokes that don't involve the degradation of other people specifically. Tell the same jokes and put them in the 3rd person without names and you'll be fine.

 

[arlanda]

I guess you only need to practice more If you want to find out what works and what doesn't you can use Internet as a practice ground.

 

[RedPill]

I need to get more jerk.

Are there any ideas of exercising this, so I'm more relaxed and don't care so much how the other receives what I say so I can express myself more freely?

1. Smile/smirk whenever you are saying something that has the potential to be offensive. If you look serious people will think you really are a jerk vs. the ****y type of "jerk" you want to be.

2. Do not care one bit about the outcome of what you say. Worst case scenario is the person hates you. Doesn't matter in the long haul. You are a tiny microscopic blink in the eyes of history. The earth is 4 billion years old. You will be around 120 years tops. Unless you just killed a million dollar deal or are talking to someone with a gun to your head, then who cares if you offended someone.

3. The only thing that really offends people is the projection of inner negativity and hate. If you are speaking from this state of being people will get offended.

4. In the event someone gets offended (it will happen), don't go into a state of fear. Stay relaxed. Pretend an attractive woman is giving you a bj. Be mentally strong. Make other people submit to you subconciously by never letting anything or anyone draw you into a mental state of fear or anxiety.

5. Okay absolute worst case scenario you offend someone and they try to kill you. But what are the odds of that happening, really? Lose your fear of death and then you really will be mentally untouchable. Think guys like MLK jr and Socrates were afraid of death? I know this last tip seems like a stretch but really that is the root fear (death/harm) that causes you to fear saying what you think/feel. Rid yourself of the bad habit of going into a fearful frame of mind.

 

[RedPill]

Oh yeah I forgot one...

6. If all else fails take a shot or two of tequilla.

 

[Scought]

I have a philosophy that I use.

I am 100 percent honest, all the time.

People know this about me.
Say what you truly feel. Must people wish they could, and if someone has a problem, you just say something to the effect of,' I'm just being honest' or " i call it like I see it.'

I am a nice dude to my friends. BUt girls taht first meet me like me, and find out that I can be 'rude' in there opinion.

This weekend I was out, and I just wanted to chill with my friends, some girls I barely know came up and it was like, i was trying to get rid of them to hang out with my boys.

They didnt get the hint. So, I just casually ignored them, then would talk, then ignore etc.

At one point I told one "lets go get a drink." I asked her to buy, but she didn't. So, i got my drink and left to go find my friends/dancefloor. Apparantly this is being an *******. It wasn't in my opinion. I just went to go do what I wanted to do.

The next day I found out from some other friends that she and her friend thought I was a '****y as*hole.'

I just do what I feel like doing, when I feel liek doing it.
And I say whats on my mind. I don't sugar coat it. I don't censor myself for girls I jsut met or hardly know.

I don't put on a good face for random girls.
I am just who I am. The same way around my guy friends.

This is not to say I am not a nice or caring person. BUt that has to be earned in a sense.
No need to put on an act.
If I see a girl do or say something stupid I rag on them about it.

If I see someone else do something stupid me and a girl I'm around might have a laugh, and Ill make fun of him/her and its an icebreaker.

People want honesty. And truly, honesty hurts.
But, if people know you are honest, fair, and an equal opportunity jerk (meaning you don't play favorites and call it like you see it) people will respect you.
At least they know you aren't fake.
I don't think I am a jerk, but I don't put women on pedestals.

I am the guy that if my boys call me out, I am out to hang with my boys and meet women second. Women are there to enhance your life, not make or break it.

I dont put down my friends to get girls to like me. I don't need to chase women all night and ignore my friends. I am just me.
Women are secondary to me having fun with friends.

Some cant stand it. They are used to being the center of attention. IFyou can crack on them and not give the attention you stand out.

This is not my 'strategy' this is jsut who I am.
I think girls are stupid and manipulative.

Heck, jsut this weekend I made out with a married woman. Tells you something about how 'faithful' women are.

Anyway, the girls that called me a '****y as*hole' are the same ones calling me up to hang out this weekend.

Just be yourself, and say what you want to say. It actually is refreshing to be truthful, at least with a pinch of tact.

If they don't like you, at least they will respect you.

 

[arutha]

Originally posted by arlanda
I guess you only need to practice more If you want to find out what works and what doesn't you can use Internet as a practice ground.

Or not.. The internet sucks for this kind of stuff, because you can't show your facial expression. It is an entirely different thing, sure you can throw out smilies but that isn't the same.


Just try stuff on people you don't know very well and probably won't see again, ie. cold approaches. Since you don't know them, you won't care what they think, and see how much you can get away with.

When you start getting used to it you will be quite suprised at how much you can really get away with if you say it in the right way.

 

[green69]

As long as you're totally happy with yourself, their reactions shouldn't really matter. Who cares if they get offended? As long as you know you're a good person who was just trying to lighten the mood, that should be enough. You don't need anything else.