How do you respond to "Why don't you have a girlfriend at the moment?"

[ds28]

I've had this question a few times at all sorts of stages during the mating and dating process - I've even been asked this whilst in bed. Anyway, I've never really been able to come up with a clever, C+F, or witty / clever / evasive answer.

At first I thought that it was a good sign when girls ask you this because it's a sign of them being curious about you and your background. However, over the years, I've gradually come round to the idea that its generally not a great sign because by asking this sort of question, they're trying to short-circuit the mating / dating process and instead interview you / rule you out / rule you in, whereas a girl with a good attitude will be prepared to put in the time and effort to get to know you. In short, I don't think it's indicative of a particularly good attitude on her part. Besides, it's a dumb question. It's like asking, "Why isn't it raining today?" Sheeesh.

I normally say something along the lines of:-

"Oh, I just don't happen to be seeing anyone at the moment"
(which runs the risk of a lingering doubt her mind that you're a bit of a weirdo / psycho)
or
" I just haven't met that special person yet *grin*"
or less commonly,
I make some vague reference to someone I was seeing a few months back. Problem with this is that the convo leads to why I am not seeing her anymore etc etc

Someone once suggested saying,
"Are you thinking of proposing to me? Oh, you gotta be rich you know!" but this sort of line, generally only works if you've always been ultra C+F with her already.

So...............does anything have any (good) suggestions for responses?

 

[Quick]

I agree with you about it being a way to quickly rule you in/out. I don't think it's that complicated though. My answer for any girl that asked me this would be, "I haven't been seeing anyone I wanted to be my girlfriend." Let's her know it's by choice, and you're looking for quality. Also sets up a challenge for her to prove worthy of being your girlfriend.

 

[Charisma]

"Are you thinking of proposing to me? Oh, you gotta be rich you know!"
I like that one lol

Just say you had alot of stuff going on and getting a girlfriend didn't really fit in your plans, if you have a busy life they will more then understand, and they will want to know what your 'plans' were

 

[ds28]

Originally posted by Charisma
"

Just say you had alot of stuff going on and getting a girlfriend didn't really fit in your plans

This can be doubled edged sword because if you're too busy or you can't make any time in your life for her, you can come across as being neglectful which is too extreme. You can be challenge but you need to make some time in your life for her. No girl wants to be completely neglected. Also, if you say that you're a workaholic, there's a risk that she's processes it as her being left on the shelf when the going gets tough. Just my 2 cents.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Just tell her you wanted to be gay for a few months to see what it was like to recieve anal pleasure.

 

[ds28]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
Just tell her you wanted to be gay for a few months to see what it was like to recieve anal pleasure.

Tried that before. Got introduced to her gay friend "Bubba" who weighed 250lbs and had just come out of Fulsome prison. Next intelligent suggestion good sir!

 

[TheCloser]

diplomatic...that's f'n grosse - EVERYBODY LISTEN UP...even though diplomatic is a Master Don Juan doesn't mean he knows Sh#$ - Don't ever use this line.

 

[lollipop]

"Why don't you have a girlfriend at the moment?"

I'm looking for that "special" girl. Blablabla... What's your phonenumber?

Why don't you have a girlfriend at the moment?-> translation for "your're a good guy, I want to date you."

 

[1utfan1]

Originally posted by Quick
I agree with you about it being a way to quickly rule you in/out. I don't think it's that complicated though. My answer for any girl that asked me this would be, "I haven't been seeing anyone I wanted to be my girlfriend." Let's her know it's by choice, and you're looking for quality. Also sets up a challenge for her to prove worthy of being your girlfriend.

 

[Olympian]

Originally posted by Quick
I agree with you about it being a way to quickly rule you in/out. I don't think it's that complicated though. My answer for any girl that asked me this would be, "I haven't been seeing anyone I wanted to be my girlfriend." Let's her know it's by choice, and you're looking for quality. Also sets up a challenge for her to prove worthy of being your girlfriend.

yea this is good.

or if u want real C+F, u could take it one step further and say
'none of the girls i know have impressed me enough yet'

 

[ds28]

"none of the girls i know have impressed me enough yet"

Not attacking personally dude or trying to shoot down your suggestions - more playing devil's advocate - but wouldn't that come across as slightly arrogant? For me personally, confidences / being assured / DJ etc isn't about arrogance.

Alternatively, wouldn't a comment like that give the impression that you hang around low quality women or have killer standards? Or even worse, wouldn't see think that it's a bit of a bullsh!t bravado / fake confidence type response.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Again, I have to say go with DJ Quick (you're on the ball man).

I might modify it slightly:

"I haven't been seeing anyone recently that I wanted to be my girlfriend"

Of course only use this if you've had a gf at some stage in the past, but it's not arrogant. It puts a lot of thoughts into her head, like "am I good enough to meet the standards he's used to", stuff like that.

Osc.

 

[Charisma]

Originally posted by ds28
This can be doubled edged sword because if you're too busy or you can't make any time in your life for her, you can come across as being neglectful which is too extreme. You can be challenge but you need to make some time in your life for her. No girl wants to be completely neglected. Also, if you say that you're a workaholic, there's a risk that she's processes it as her being left on the shelf when the going gets tough. Just my 2 cents.

I know what you mean, was expecting this response, but you have to bring it in a way that you did date, but without saying it, so you dated, but didn't want a steady girlfriend because of the busy lifestyle.. I know it sounds weird, but by setting the tone in your voice you can hint clearly that you are ready for one NOW.

I'll give an example

Her : So why don't you have a girlfriend ?
You : Ah well, girlfriend, sure I've had a couple of girlfriends but nothing serious, a lot of stuff has been going on for the last two years, so I didn't really had alot of energy or time left for the girlfriend, you know what I mean ?
Her : Ah I see .. (no I don't/Yes I do)
You : (no matter what she said just state it clearly) I was a little overwhelmed by all the stuff that was coming at me, but I learned to deal with all that now etc...

-> Don't say this in a loser tone, say this like you've had the most excellent two friggin years of your life !

This works good for me since I actually had quite some years, and they never get scared or something, they get interested.. Not that they ask me this all the time, but I'm sure you all have gotten a couple of those 'Why are you still single ?' 'Why aren't you seeing anyone at the moment ?' 'All your friends have a LTR what's wrong with you lol ?' etc... I get only positive effects imo, gets the 'I'm not a needy *****' into play from the start

But the thing Oscar Wilde said is great too, don't use mine if you aren't a busy person (and with busy I don't mean busy with school, I mean busy doing something out-of-the-ordinary worth talking about), use "I haven't been seeing anyone recently that I wanted to be my girlfriend" that should take care of your problem.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Hello guys, my two standard responses to "Why Don't You have a girlfriend?":

1) "I'm a Free Agent, looking for the best offer."
That seems to turn it around and get them thinkin' that they are the ones that must qualify, not the other way around.

2) "Why, do you want to apply/want to interview?"
Same as above, they must qualify from the pool of prospects.

 

[Charisma]

hehe excellent too

 

[ds28]

Originally posted by Gangster Of Love


2) "Why, do you want to apply/want to interview?"

Hehe! I like that and puts the ball right back into her court! If she doesn't get defensive trying to hit a curve ball like that, nothing will get to her! Good one. I suppose that if she's blown away too much and stumbling for words trying to respond, I guess, you save her the embasrassment by coming out with a lines suggested by Quick etc Good stuff gentlemen!

Actually come to think of, being asked "Why don't you have a GF?" would have to go down on the list of "tests" which you have to pass. And tests need a slap down. Food for thought.

 

[Sisko]

Originally posted by TheCloser
diplomatic...that's f'n grosse - EVERYBODY LISTEN UP...even though diplomatic is a Master Don Juan doesn't mean he knows Sh#$ - Don't ever use this line.

Lol I took that one as a joke
But I know I can get girls laughing with this one, so I'm gonna try it when the time is right

 

[killerasp]

if a girl is asking me, ill just say back to her "why? are you interested in filling the position?"

 

[Chip]

Her:
Why don't you have a g/f?

Me:
*give her a curious look*
what's on your mind?
(Pause)
Are you seeing someone?

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

woman: Why you don`t have a girlfriend?

me: All the good ones are taking.

Boom! Everything falls into place.