How do YOU respond to an argumentive girl

[2Rocky]

"so what is REALLY bothering you?"

She responds

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Either respond "OK I can do that" or "here is what I CAN do...."

 

[GrayWolf76]

Some great strategies here. I take it pretty simple with argumentative women because I like to have clear decision points on what I do. I've found that this only really comes out when they feel "safe" to argue with you but loses attraction for you and starts to test. I give them a little leeway with it and listen, some here have said no more than 20-30 seconds and I think that's a good rule. If she's not upset at me and its something else in her life I'll sit on the floor and listen to her tearful pity party. If she is being unreasonable I will be playful a bit and tell her she is cute when she's angry or make little jokes about it's all over so guess I'l have to dig my little black book out of the closet. Anything that should normally make her laugh and see how ridiculous she's being. If that doesn't work, I'll sing Jimmy Crack Corn and go play some video games or something. The end result you want from this is for them to be able to diffuse their dysfunctional argument techniques because you will not engage in toxic behavior because its either that or you are gone. BPD women will just up the ante and accuse you of laughing at them or get actually violent, but then you have your answer. Look up Gottman's Four horsemen. These are the 3 toxic forms of argument that eventually lead to the ultimate and most destructive form: contempt. The three are criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. This is where I differ from the soft-nex guys, I don't stonewall, I just go about my business like its nothing and leave if I have to or if she won't leave me be. Once contempt becomes the game, you need to play some hard ball and be willing to leave and never look back. Do not engage in toxicity, just show her that you will not put up with it and make her look ridiculous. This works perfect because it gives her only 2 choices rather than none that soft-nexting does. You need to also pay attention after this. Some women will start to attempt jealousy games or flirt with other guys in the coming days and not make up with you. If she is putting you on a lower level, then go no contact and force her to make an attempt to actually physically come to you to make it right out of respect for you. It really means you are not able to give your best love and that is how they devalue you. No phone, text or online anything. Make it hard for her to reach you. ALWAYS have a place you can go, a friend's house, a cabin in the woods, a bed at work or anything.

 

[exhausted]

This

I'll add, whatever the 'issue' is, there is a general fear underneath it. Thing is, if she's not insightful enough to figure out what the fear is, you're going to both have a difficult time working thru it. This is definitely about compatibility too. If you can both quell the disagreement successfully, this is a female you should consider for LTR.

I disagree that it is a sh1t test tho. While women do sh1t test, a lot of women arent insightful enough to know themselves, so what looks like a sh1t test is really just personal baggage surfacing

Agreed, some **** tests are understandable as women suck at communicating so they start arguments or fights to see reactions. However, some women, most, just dont know how to get along and are emotionally unstable therefore half the time everything is an argument or a problem. These girls you find yourself thinking what now, or are you kidding me this person is miserable all the time........Get the F out if u feel this

 

[Huffman]

Let's face it, if you've been together for a bit you will always be vulnerable in one kind or another, and that's OK.

But really it's more about your girl and not about you. How evil is your girl? How much is she willing to hurt you just so she can provoke an emotional response?
My girl never goes very far in an argument, she never makes any cheap shots, attacks my masculinity or integrity or whatever, because she respects me. As a result it's pretty easy for me to stay focused, acknowledge her feelings for a bit and tell her off if she's being irrational.

I guess the bottom line is, handling arugmentative women needs work and proper strategy, so it's a hassle best avoided if you don't want to fight every day.

 

[Steady Eddie]

OP, position your face in front of hers, so there's a couple centimeters between you and her. Make sure you have eye contact.
Then say "we're never going to see eye to eye, on this are we?"