How do you remain aloof, and still create an attraction?

[Tantric]

My problem is simple...

I really like this one HB. I've known her as an acquaintance for some time, and recently I got to know her more. I would not place myself in the "friends zone", but I am creating something a bit more than "acquaintance".

I found myself chasing her recently, not in the "oh my GOD get AWAY from me!!!" way, but at least in my mind i felt I was.

I think she is still dating her loser BF, so I stopped calling her, and in school for the past couple of weeks, I've been remaining aloof...talking to her when she approaches first, walking away first, ending convo first etc....overall not paying as much attention to her as I was previously. This girl is a major model, so I figured the backing off was the best thing to do.

I have to work with her on a project in school, and I will find out soon if she is still seeing that guy. I am trying to remain aloof in the meantime, but I am finding that when I do, I think I pull back to the point where I am short with her, and not really able to establish an attraction WHILE being aloof...

...is this normal?

Can anyone suggest something that may work a bit better for what I want?

Any advice is appreciated...

 

[warpy]

umm never been in your situation but i can probably come up with some fair advice, dont be that much aloof, try to make her chase you in a way. if its the project you are working on then make sure she always initiates the meetups, give her the attention any normal person would get from you, when you are together talk about other girls, maybe ask for her "advice", but still add some spicey remarks that she'll know you see her as a potential girl u'd date..
example :
hey that girl i was seeing has the same bra/panties, is that the one with the stripes and.. and.. and

ex2:
my last gf had a boob job, are those real? or did you have those done?

make sure you actually see her bra or panties before though

make her feel as if she is missing on the biggest thing there is, and that is you.

 

[realsmoothie]

Heh, yeah... don't be so aloof that she doesn't know you're interested at some point. I've been doing that for years and it doesn't work so well...

 

[Tantric]

I hear ya...

I think she knows I like her though...not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

My problem is simple...

I really like this one HB.

This is all you needed to post. The rest of it is irrelevant. Your problem isn't one of staying "aloof", it's about your options of which you have none if you're devoting, if not all, then the lions share of your effort to one single target. Men with real options who are spinning 3 or more plates at the same time don't have a need to appear "aloof" with any of them; they already have the pre-knowledge that if one isn't meeting his expectations then he has other women who're more than happy to have his attention. This may give the appearance of being "aloof", but that would be superficial and acting the part. What a man with options really has is a kind of subconscious indifference know he's got a better prospect if one doesn't turn out.

Remember, women would rather share a confident Jerk than be tied to a faithful loser.

 

[Delta]

SET UP:

you have to set up in her eyes through an initial encounter that you are interesting and desirable. you must make an INITIAL INCURSION so that she is aware of you and have become aware of your desirable qualities.

ONLY THEN will withdrawl or aloofness inspire further interest.

if you just remain aloof, you may as well not exist.

this is where i think PLOYS have to be made so that you set up a situation where she can see you at your best, being competent, doing something well, being funny/noble/etc... junior high school stuff....

delta

 

[donovan]

I hear ya...

I think she knows I like her though...not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing...

Every woman knows a guy likes her. You just have to give her reasons to choose you over other men.

The key: show her your lifestyle.

While I was in New York, and friend of mine started dating this beautiful woman, he took her to a friend who owns a Bikram Yoga studio took a class, then to some Improv shows that his friend run, and other things like that.

She was so blown away, not because of what he was saying, but what he was showing her.

She got attracted to him, because to her, he was this wellconnected, friend of the successful (or atleast positive).

Therein lies the secret to women. No tricks, you have to improve your lifestyle. (Although there are some good lines you can use...)

 

[donovan]

To add something more:

I read in Tommy Lee's book, that he LITERALLY STALKED Pam Anderson. He flew down to Cancun and called her place EVERYDAY. She didn't even pay attention. Then finally the last night, she let him come around, they hooked up and got married that same week.

Crazy huh?

Goes to show that "being aloof" doesn't work. You need to be persistent, but in a UNIQUE and NON-STALKER way. I wouldn't suggest you do what Tommy did, although just goes to show that the RULES don't always apply. Follow your instincts.

 

[sexy_kuta]

omg thanks for making this thread..

i been wondering about this for the past two weeks, im in ur same situation

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop thinking so much about being aloof and focus on being interesting.

 

[Faded Image]

This is all you needed to post. The rest of it is irrelevant. Your problem isn't one of staying "aloof", it's about your options of which you have none if you're devoting, if not all, then the lions share of your effort to one single target. Men with real options who are spinning 3 or more plates at the same time don't have a need to appear "aloof" with any of them; they already have the pre-knowledge that if one isn't meeting his expectations then he has other women who're more than happy to have his attention. This may give the appearance of being "aloof", but that would be superficial and acting the part. What a man with options really has is a kind of subconscious indifference know he's got a better prospect if one doesn't turn out.

Remember, women would rather share a confident Jerk than be tied to a faithful loser.

I agree with you 100%.

Most guys mess up when they TRY being aloof with only one target. When you have multiple options to choose from, being aloof is not an option, it just is. Your other options will keep you busy to point where you just become aloof without realizing it.

 

[sexy_kuta]

how about for my sisuation.. tryin to build and make a whole new relationship with a girl who was confused when u dated her so u left her and gave ehr space, and it has been a few months but now shes giving u signs, and contacting u out of the blue but now its like no one is making the move?

 

[Chris Lee]

My friend told me about his friend who would get hung up on by girls and call them right back. They said they f^cked him just to get him to stop bothering them. Being persistent like that shows a certain type of confidence that is "I'm so confident in myself, I dont care about rejection" Acting aloof just means that you reject them first so they dont reject you.

raise your value(be funny, fun, popular, good with other girls) you only need one
then, neg them when they appear vulnerable
then use a push-pull of aloof-interested while continuing to raise your value
creating triangles is a great way to appear aloof