How do you psychologically deal with financial loss?

[oOh Nasty]

A loss that's not necessarily crippling, but one that came so suddenly because you missed a detail somewhere or made a minor mistake. The kind of loss where, you're like "WOW. I knew I was going to pay, but I didn't think I'd be paying THAT much."

I'm not going to get into any kind of debt or anything, but I will feel like a few months of work have gone down the drain...for almost nothing. The last time I remember paying this much, I remember telling myself that I had to keep my karma clean (I left a note on a guy's car after accidentally scratching it parking next to his). In the end, I didn't feel guilty about the money I paid because I kind of believe that everything comes back to me somehow.

Not to be superstitious or anything, but it seems that in the past, anytime I decided not to make the "greedy" decision, I'm always mysteriously rewarded later on.

I guess I"m kind of venting now and trying to make sense of something that happened recently which resulted in a chunk of my cash going down the drain. I wonder how others deal with it in their own minds. I feel like a stupid f*ck for missing out on a dumb detail that could have prevented this. I also don't want to blame anyone other than myself but I find myself sometimes blaming someone else out of anger.

Trying to look on the bright side of things. At least I'm not in debt like most people I know. All this did was shatter the belief that I was ahead of the game. One thing I definitely am going to keep in mind: I probably can't make this money back right away so I should try to stay grounded and not make any rash moves.

Acceptance is difficult. But I guess it's still too soon .

 

[El Payaso]

You'll need to be specific.

 

[oOh Nasty]

@El Payaso

I was really actually just venting. I feel a lot better now than I did when I first wrote this post.

I have a long lost family member I've been talking to over Telegram in the Philippines (a younger cousin I've never met before). He likes to talk to me for advice in life, since he really doesn't have any role models and he's become addicted to learning about the ways of man. Only thing is, he recently lost convenient access to the internet and was only able to text me. He was worried that texting internationally would become expensive for him so I told him I'd call him to talk. Anyways, it wasn't expensive for him at all because I was the one calling...and I was quite surprised to see how much in charges I had racked up. I was expecting something in the few hundreds but the number ended up being almost quadruple that . This was in a span of about... 3 days. I was not aware of how long I had been on the phone each time. Times flies when you're listening to a kid's high school stories. That's just one of a few things though.

I guess that wouldn't really count as financial loss. It was just slightly jaw-dropping when I checked my account online.

 

[Julian]

youtube "the biggest scam in history". it will teach you about true wealth.

 

[user43770]

I'm sure seeing your balance gave you quite a shock! No biggie. We all make mistakes. At least it was for a good cause.

To answer your question: when I've had huge financial losses, I did what I had to do to get back in the black. That time wasn't the most pleasant in my life, but it made me a better person. I look back on it fondly now.

Look at it like Francis Bacon: riches are for spending.

 

[backbreaker]

i gamble thousands of dollars a week. I lose thousands of dollars a week, sometimes for the silliest of reasons. I once watched about 25,000 dollars go down the drain when a pick 4 i had wagered on hit the first 3 legs and the last leg who was winning in the stretch of the race (horse racing) , the jockey fell off the horse disqualifing the horse from the race. **** that happened a few months ago actually.

I also run a business that is 100% service related and I put together proposals, and talk to clients everyday, make budgets based off projected earnings, assign resources to projects, only to have clients disappear, lie, or in some way shape or form not follow threw in what they say they are going to do when they could have just point blank told you they weren't interested or couldn't afford to do the project or whatever.


You deal with it the same, EXACT same way you deal with women. it's all a numbers game to me. NEXT. that';s all you can do. i know if i play enough races i'm going to hit about 41% of the ones I decide to wager on (i'm good lol). I know if I talk to 13 new clients I'm going to get semi serious responses from 5 of them and I know i'm going to sale 2-3 of the 5.


The worst thing you can do is get down on yourself or stop doing what you're doing because that effects numbers. Just keep pushing through.

 

[Mike32ct]

My dad taught me that big mistakes are gifts in disguise because it's one more mistake that you will never make again. I use that a lot. I say to myself, "This sucks, but I only have to go through it once because I learned from it."

Also, be greatful that you are fortunate enough to be able to absorb the loss and bounce back. If you were a broke guy with $50 in his account, then I would really be very concerned lol.

TDLR: We all get burned sometimes. You'll be more careful next time.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I once lost 10 thousand dollars on a bad real estate deal. You live and you learn. If you lose it you can rebuild it.

 

[dustmuffin]

If you are going to still talk to your cousin get a long distance phone card. You will pay pennies a minute with it. The mexicans around here buy them to call mexico. I'm sure you can get one for the Phillipines.

 

[bigneil]

Consider:

Age 18 - Living in my parents' shed after I got arrested with a joint and kicked out of college (thanks, Nancy Reagan).
Age 22 - Dating a super model as a senior in college, on Dean's list.
Age 23 - Digging up septic tanks living in my mom's basement after graduating (another) college.
Age 26 - Making $52K per year salary realizing that's chump change.
Age 29 - Self made Millionaire with $4M in stock after formal acquisition offer.
Age 30 - Dot com crash wiped out Billions in software industry wealth.
Age 31 - On a loan, filed a significant patent that has been cited by Microsoft, Disney, Dreamworks and many others.
Age 32 - With companies having a hiring freeze after 9/11 and holding $50K debt, I was forced to declared bankruptcy.
Age 33 - Hit the road with a suitcase and my cat, never to return, living in 12 states in the next 12 years.
Age 36 - Going from job to job around the country wondering what it takes to be respected in my field, seeing 7 countries also.
Age 40 - Published an article in my field after 4 years of steady employment in the simulation industry.
Age 41 - Living in a Florida retirement community between jobs after I quit my job but had a patent dispute with new company.
Age 46 - After 5 years of steady contract work I am taking home over $6000 a week after taxes (the equivalent of $500K salary) with two contracts going extremely well, with a potential third contract coming in.

Note I had the same skill set the entire time - mostly C++.

In life, we need to be dynamic and build skills that are in high demand. Remember, sometimes our dreams come true so slowly we don't even realize they came to pass. Had I tried to be a rock star versus computer programmer, I wouldn't have had that luxury though.