bballkilla
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2006
- Messages
- 32
- Reaction score
- 1
can any of you guys experienced in this help me out more? i just wanna add to my repertoire, so i can have a little more fun when i'm with a girl 
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
im gio's private tutor.Oxide said:so... penkitten, what time are you available for practice?
I'm so grateful that there are psychologists, scientists, and geeks who carry on with all this important research on how to do everything and break it down step by step, while I am out getting laid. Thank you.:rock:banGbro said:Dr Gerhard Nielsen of the Psychological Laboratory
ai the University of Copenhagen describes in his book,
Studies in Self-Confrontation, the extremely important
use of body language in what he calls the 'courtship
dance' of the American adolescent.
Breaking the procedure of courtship down to a cold,
clinical level, Dr Nielsen found twenty-four steps between
the 'initial contact between the young male and
female and the coitional act'. These steps by the man, he
decided, and the counter steps taken by the girl had a
'coercive order' He explains this by saying that when a
boy takes the step of holding a girl's hand, he must wait
until she presses his hand, signalling a go-ahead, before
he can take the next step of allowing his fingers to intertwine
with hers.
Step must follow step until he can casually put his arm
around her shoulder. He may move his hand down her
back then and approach her breast from the side. She, in
turn, can block this approach with her upper arm against
her side.
After the initial kiss, and only then, he may try to move
towards her breast again, but he does not really expect to
reach it until a good deal of kissing has taken place.
Protocol forbids him to approach the breast from the
front, even as it forbids the first kiss before the initial
hand-holding,
Dr Nielsen suggests that the boy or girl is labelled
'fast' or 'slow' in terms of the order of each step, not
the time taken for each step. 'Skipping steps or reversing
their order is fast,' in the same way that ignoring the
signal to move on to the next step, or not permitting
the next step, is slow,
105
BODY LANGUAGE
Choose your Posture
Dr Albert E. Scheflen, professor of psychiatry at the
Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City,
has studied and charted patterns of courtship and what he
calls 'quasi-courtship' in human beings. This quasicourtship
is the use of courting or flirting or sex to
achieve non-sexual goals.
All human behaviour is patterned and systematic,
according to Dr Scheflen, and it is also made up of
regular, small segments arranged into larger units. This is
equally true for sexual behaviour, and in a study of the
elements that make up our sexual relations to each other,
Dr Scheflen found that in business meetings, at parties,
in school and in many other gatherings, people used these
sexual elements, even though they had no sexual goal in
mind-
He came to the conclusion that either Americans
behave sexually when they get together on a non-sexual
basis or else - and more likely - the sexual behaviour has
certain qualifying body-language, signals when it is not
used with the ultimate goal of sexual intercourse.
Just what are these sexual patterns of behaviour? Well,
according to Dr Scheflen's investigations, when a man
and a woman prepare for a sexual encounter, although
they are unaware of what they arc doing, they go through
a number of body changes that bring them into a state
of readiness.
The muscles of their bodies become slightly tensed and
'ready for action'. Body sagging disappears, and they
stand up straighter, more erect and alert. There is less
jowling' in their faces and 'bagging' around their eyes.
Their posture becomes more youthful, and their stomachs
106
THE SILENT LANGUAGE OF LOVE
are pulled in, their leg muscles tightened. Even their eyes
seem brighter while their skins may blush or grow pale.
There may even be changes in their body odours, barking
back to a more primitive time when smell was a tremendously
important sense in sexual encounters.
As these changes take place, the man or woman may
begin to use certain gestures which Dr Scheflen calls
'preening behaviour', A woman will stroke her hair or
check her make-up, rearrange her clothes or push her
hair away from her face, while a man may comb his hair,
burton his coat, readjust his clothes, pull up his socks,
arrange his tie or straighten Use crease in his trousers.
These are all body-language signals that say, 'I am
interested. I like you. Notice me, I am an attractive man -
an attractive woman ...'
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.