Ive come along way since last year, confidence is high and Im the envy of my friends at the bars since I can cold approach with no fear. But as far as Ive come I still have the same damn problem, and that is when a girl shows interest in me, I fall too hard too fast, which as some of you if not all know, that isnt good. So how do you prevent this from happening, I just started seeing a girl, but shes getting flaky (keep in mind it is exam time so maybe shes legit busy) Anyways thanks in advance.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How do you prevent falling for a girl too fast?
- Thread starter mtlwlu
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
omkara
Senior Don Juan
man, I have lost so much p**** that way! lol I think in a way it may be good to have a high level of appreciation, because then it can be really intense when it does work out. Contrast that with the guy who gets so much *** but is bored of with his life. (From what I've read that does happen).
I'm not one to give advice, but women like a guy who can show some self-control. The longer you can hold off showing that you want her, the better. On the other hand, we are also told that we are supposed to escalate. This is how I got in trouble the last time. I should have just played it cool. So, how to reconcile the contradiction between escalating, and pretending not to be interested in sex? There are times I've lost out by not taking an opportunity when I had it, and at other times I've lost out by admitting that I was attracted to the girl...
I'm not one to give advice, but women like a guy who can show some self-control. The longer you can hold off showing that you want her, the better. On the other hand, we are also told that we are supposed to escalate. This is how I got in trouble the last time. I should have just played it cool. So, how to reconcile the contradiction between escalating, and pretending not to be interested in sex? There are times I've lost out by not taking an opportunity when I had it, and at other times I've lost out by admitting that I was attracted to the girl...
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
You should be building the eco sytem, the pipeline, as the say, or spinning more plates.
When you have options, the "one" only takes up a fraction of your attention.
When you have options, the "one" only takes up a fraction of your attention.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
double post
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
omkara
Senior Don Juan
Don't worry you are young. You have plenty of time to get it right.
I think you are right about that awkwardness thing. That makes sense... it is good to escalate as long as it's not awkward.
The last time I turned off some girl, she stopped responding to my emails. And that means no IL = game over. There is no point trying to write her anymore. That would just make me look more pathetic. Anyway what happened was, I said something really stupid. We went out ONCE and she seemed very interested, so I thought I could get away with being a little "romantic" and I emailed her and said, "hey it was great chatting with you on Friday. You looked amazing.
I will be busy for a few weeks but I will get back to you..." etc. etc. Now of course, since I lost contact with her, I realize that it was stupid to say that. If I had just played it cool, we could still at least hang out instead of her ignoring me. I had already showed sexual interest, so my best guess is that in this case I overdid it and either scared her off, came off as creepy, or both. Oh well.... I will be sure not to do that next time.
I think you are right about that awkwardness thing. That makes sense... it is good to escalate as long as it's not awkward.
The last time I turned off some girl, she stopped responding to my emails. And that means no IL = game over. There is no point trying to write her anymore. That would just make me look more pathetic. Anyway what happened was, I said something really stupid. We went out ONCE and she seemed very interested, so I thought I could get away with being a little "romantic" and I emailed her and said, "hey it was great chatting with you on Friday. You looked amazing.
I will be busy for a few weeks but I will get back to you..." etc. etc. Now of course, since I lost contact with her, I realize that it was stupid to say that. If I had just played it cool, we could still at least hang out instead of her ignoring me. I had already showed sexual interest, so my best guess is that in this case I overdid it and either scared her off, came off as creepy, or both. Oh well.... I will be sure not to do that next time.bluemanson
Don Juan
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sometimes the girl you interested in looks like she is interested in you. lots of IOI's. we went out for lunch and after that i thort was a good time to make a move but when i made my move she backed off, and now she is way more distant then the beginning.
She hardly replies to my mails but when i see her she all cool and chats to me and stuff but i know she prob just being friendly cos deep down i know she not interested.
so now im just backing off big time. i take about half a day to a day to reply to her mails. when i see her i say hi. smile and walk away. im not giving her the attention she used to get from me, although i still am interested cos she makes my heart race each time i see her but slowly but surely il get over her.
You know what i noticed that there was a huge shift of power before i did anything and after.
before, she would sit by me and visit alot, watch movies, she even told me that she has nothing to do when im not with her and she bored.
but as soon as i made a move that power moved to her somehow. I dont know how it happened
But one thing for sure I want that power back!!!!!!!!
If you have any ideas on how to get it back let me know please
She hardly replies to my mails but when i see her she all cool and chats to me and stuff but i know she prob just being friendly cos deep down i know she not interested.
so now im just backing off big time. i take about half a day to a day to reply to her mails. when i see her i say hi. smile and walk away. im not giving her the attention she used to get from me, although i still am interested cos she makes my heart race each time i see her but slowly but surely il get over her.
You know what i noticed that there was a huge shift of power before i did anything and after.
before, she would sit by me and visit alot, watch movies, she even told me that she has nothing to do when im not with her and she bored.
but as soon as i made a move that power moved to her somehow. I dont know how it happened
But one thing for sure I want that power back!!!!!!!!
If you have any ideas on how to get it back let me know please
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
- Messages
- 258
- Reaction score
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If you're falling for a girl too quick, it means you only have one girl that you're currently working on.
Here's the deal, there's nothing wrong with falling for a girl, like you said, just don't do it too quickly. At this point, you guys aren't even dating and if you are seeing other girls, it wouldn't be fair of her to keep you pinned down, as a matter of fact, she'll respect you more and it'll be a DHV if you're gaming other girls.
Get back out in field and get more numbers and the feelings should subside.
-Kevin
Here's the deal, there's nothing wrong with falling for a girl, like you said, just don't do it too quickly. At this point, you guys aren't even dating and if you are seeing other girls, it wouldn't be fair of her to keep you pinned down, as a matter of fact, she'll respect you more and it'll be a DHV if you're gaming other girls.
Get back out in field and get more numbers and the feelings should subside.
-Kevin
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
The key is not to see her too much.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Hearbreaker IV
Banned
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- Apr 18, 2009
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Have other girls available, and don't see her too much! You have hobbies and a life right?